But not with Connor. Not with Brad’s best friend.
“No. It’s sweet of you to offer, but I really can’t let you stay. We are going to need to focus like laser beams on this task and having you here won’t help.” She smiled at him with affection to take the bite out of her words.
He stepped farther from her and avoided her eyes. The sting of her rejection was like a knife to his heart. “Okay then. I guess I’d better get going.”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
He started to turn away, then remembered. “Hey, I didn’t fix the door I kicked in last night.”
She shook her head. “Don’t worry. I’ve already called a handy man I use.”
“Oh.” He hesitated, but there didn’t seem to be much to say. He was superfluous, obviously. Just in the way. Might as well get the hell out.
“Okay. It was good to see you again, Jill.”
She smiled at him. “Yes. Come back soon. But next time, don’t stop off to see Brad first.”
He nodded. “You’ve got my word on that one,” he said. He shoved his hands down into the back pockets of his jeans and looked at her, hard.
“What?” she asked, half laughing.
“I just want to get a good picture of you to hold me over,” he told her. “Until next time.”
The look in her eyes softened and she stepped forward and kissed his cheek. “Goodbye,” she whispered.
He wanted to kiss her mouth so badly, he had to clench his teeth together to stop himself from doing it.
“Goodbye,” he said softly, then he turned and left the house.
* * *
Outside, he felt like hell. He’d had hangovers that hadn’t felt this bad. Everything in him wanted to stay and he couldn’t do it. He looked down at the ferry dock. There was a ferry there now, loading up. He’d catch it and then it would be all over. How long before he saw her again? Who knew. He would probably go back to Singapore. At least he knew where he stood there.
Swearing softly with a string of obscenities that he rarely used, he slid into the driver’s seat and felt for the keys.
“Goodbye to all that,” he muttered, then turned on the engine. About to back out, he turned to glance over his shoulder—just in time to see a small economy car come sailing in behind him, jerk to a stop, and block him in.
“Hey,” he said.
But the young woman who’d driven up didn’t hear him and didn’t notice that his engine was running. She flew out of the car and went racing up the walk, flinging herself through the doorway.
Okay. This had to be the famous Trini he’d heard so much about. She’d trapped him in his parking space and he wasn’t going to make the ferry. Now what?
CHAPTER FIVE (#u1ad57c9d-4828-5ebb-a3c1-a037efa478bd)
JILL HADN’T RECOVERED from Connor leaving when Trini came bursting in. The boys ran to her joyfully and she knelt down and collected them into her arms, then looked up. Jill knew immediately that something was wrong.
“Trini, what is it?” she cried.
Trini was young and pretty with a long, swinging ponytail and a wide-eyed expression of constant amazement, as though life had just really surprised her once again. And in this case, it seemed to be true.
“You’ll never guess!” she cried, and then she burst into tears. “Oh, Jill,” she wailed, “this is so good and so bad at the same time.”
“What is it, sweetheart?” Jill asked, pulling her up and searching her face. But she thought she knew. And she dreaded what she was about to hear.
“Oh, Jill, I just got the call and...” She sobbed for a moment, then tried again. “I got in. I was on the wait list and they just called. I got accepted into the program at Chanoise Culinary Institute in New York.”
“But...hasn’t the quarter already started?”
“Yes, but they had two people drop out already. So they called and said if I could get there by tomorrow, I’m in.”
“Trini! That’s wonderful! You deserve a space in the class. I always knew that.”
But did it have to be today? She couldn’t help but wish the timing had been different. Still, this was wonderful for Trini.
“What can I do to help you?”
Trini shook her head. “You’ve already done enough. You wrote the recommendation that got me in.” She sighed happily, and then she frowned with worry. “The only bad part is I have to leave right away. My flight leaves at noon. The Jamison engagement party...”
“Don’t you think twice, Trini. You just get out of here and go pack and prepare for the best experience of your life. Okay?”
Trini threw her arms around Jill’s neck and Jill hugged her tightly. “I’m so excited,” Trini cried. “Oh, Jill, I’ll keep you posted on everything we do. And when I come back...”
“You’ll teach me a thing or two, I’m sure.” She smiled at her assistant, forcing back any hint of the panic she was feeling. “Now off with you. You need to get ready for the rest of your life.”
“I will. Wish me luck!”
“I’ll definitely wish you luck. You just supply the hard work!”
Trini laughed and dashed out the door. Jill reached out to put her hand on the back of a chair to keep herself from collapsing. She could hardly breathe. She saw Connor standing in the entryway. She didn’t know why he’d come back and right now, she couldn’t really think about it or talk to him. She was in full-scale devastation meltdown mode.
What was she going to do? What on earth was she going to do? She couldn’t think a coherent thought. Her mind was a jumble. She knew she was standing on the edge of the cliff and if she lost her balance, she was going over. She couldn’t let that happen. She had to get herself together.
But what was the use? She’d fought back so often. So much kept going wrong and she kept trying to fix things. They just wouldn’t stay fixed. She was so tired. Today, right now, she wanted to quit. There had to be a way to give up, to surrender to reality. She just couldn’t do this anymore.
Looking at her reflection in the hall mirror, she muttered sadly, “Okay. I get it. I’m not meant to do this. I should quit banging my head against the wall. I should quit, period. Isn’t that what a sane, rational person would do?”
She stared at herself, feeling cold and hollow. She knew Connor was still watching her, that he’d heard what she said, but she hardly cared. She was in such deep trouble, what did it matter if he saw her anguish? But a part of her was grateful for his presence—and that he was keeping back, not trying to comfort her right now. She didn’t need that since there was no comfort, was no real hope.
She stared at herself for a long moment, teetering between the devil and the deep blue sea. That was how it felt. No matter what she did, disaster seemed inevitable.
Then, gradually, from somewhere deep inside, she began to put her strength back together and pull her nerve back into place. She took a giant breath and slowly let it out. She wouldn’t surrender. She would go down fighting, no matter what it cost her. Let them try to stop her! She had glaze to prepare. She had cakes to bake. She would try her best to get this done and on time. She could only do what she could do—but she would do the best she could.
She looked at herself in the mirror again and gave herself a small, encouraging smile. She needed a joke right now, something to help her put things into perspective. She was a baking woman—hear her roar! They would have to pry her baking mitts off her cold, dead hands.
Revived and reinvigorated, she turned to face Connor. “There,” she said. “I’m better now.”
He still appeared a bit worried, but he’d watched her mini-breakdown and the instant rebuild in awe.