Secret Dad

She laughed. “Oh, come on.”

He wrinkled his tiny freckled nose, his blue eyes wise. “Do you have a surprise at home for me?” he asked carefully.

She sighed, shaking her head, delighted with him as usual. “How did you guess that?”

He shrugged. “Because of your eyes,” he said sensibly. “Because you look like a surprise.”

Laughing, she pulled him up into her arms and gave him a very loud kiss on his flushed cheek.

“Is it a rifle?” he asked hopefully.

“Robbie!” she cried, dropping him on his feet again. “No, it’s not a rifle. And it never will be, you can count on that. I don’t think you should have a rifle. And I wish you would stop asking for one all the time.”

He took her small lecture patiently, then got back to business right away. “Then what kind of surprise is it?” he asked, pulling further away so that he could skip along beside her.

“It’s not a toy surprise, either,” she warned him. “More of a people-to-people surprise.”

He thought about that for a moment, frowning then shook his head and asked, “What does that mean?”

“You just wait. You’ll see.”

His eyes widened and he started to ask something else, but he quickly thought better of it, and instead put his head down and began to walk on ahead as fast as he could, with Sabrina dancing beside him, watching for something to chase. But Robbie wasn’t interested in the forest any longer. He seemed to be intent on getting home.

Charlie shook her head, watching him. She so often worried that it wasn’t fair to try to raise him all alone, that he really needed a dad in his life. That was something she couldn’t give him. The thought of going out and trying to find a man to take over that role made her cringe. Unfortunately, she was afraid Robbie was going to have to grow up without a father around. Not an ideal situation, but the best she could do.

She hoped he would like having Denver stay for dinner. There hadn’t often been a man in their house lately. Now and then she invited Robbie’s friend Billy to come to a meal and bring his parents. She had noted the way Robbie hung on every word Billy’s father uttered, and followed him with his eyes at all times. It was obvious how much her son longed for a dad of his own. She wasn’t sure what he would make of Denver, but she was pretty sure their visitor was made from the mold every little boy liked to think of his father as being from. That was the best she could do for him, it seemed—occasional and temporary male influences in his life.

Robbie was walking faster and faster and she almost had to run to catch up to him. He pulled her by the hand and she laughed as he forced her to trot, with Sabrina dashing around them and barking. In no time at all, they were home, running up the porch steps and bursting in through the front door.

The house seemed too still and she looked around quickly, her gaze darting from the couch to the kitchen and back again. The blanket lay neatly folded on the table. The fire had just about gone out. There was no sign of him. He was gone.

Something lurched inside her but she didn’t stop to analyze why. He was gone and she was disappointed, but she wasn’t going to let it show

Robbie looked around too, puzzled. “Where is it, Mom? I can’t find the surprise.”

“I’m sorry, honey,” she told him, letting her fingertips trail along the back of the couch where Denver had been when she’d last seen him, remembering how big and rough he’d looked when she’d had him there. “I guess your surprise has sort of... disappeared.”

He was gone. The disappointment welled up in her like a thundercloud pouring over the tips of the mountain range on a summer day. She’d brought home a lost creature, tended to him, grown to rather like him, and now he was gone. That left an empty spot in her soul.

The sound of something outside caught her attention. There was a noise from out back, a thump, the sound of an ax against wood. She stopped, frowning, and suddenly she realized it was made by someone chopping firewood. Her heart leaped up but she didn’t let herself notice that. Instead, she ran to the window and looked out. He wasn’t gone after all. There he was, ax in hand, chopping wood. That thing that had lurched inside her rose again, rose and poured something warm and sweet through her body, and she grinned, feeling suddenly light as air.

“Or maybe not,” she told her son, tousling his hair as she passed him on her way outside. “Let me go see.” She stepped quickly to the back door.

There he was, swinging an ax in a very unbalanced manner, his hair shining in the sun. Throwing open the door, she ran out.

“What are you doing?” she cried out as she neared him. “Will you cut that out?”

He turned and nodded to greet her. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to do,” he told her, setting himself and taking another swing.

“You are in no condition to be doing something like this,” she said, frowning as he staggered back from the momentum of the ax. Reaching out, she put a hand on his arm, and he didn’t pull away, but he stiffened, and she knew he didn’t want her doing that. Quickly, she pulled her hand back.

“Come on in and sit down,” she said quickly. “We’ll be eating soon.”

He was leaning against the sawhorse that held the wood in place and it was obvious he was going to have to take her suggestion, whether he wanted to or not. “I’m actually doing fine,” he protested, though he didn’t look it. “The leg is getting back to normal. Really, I’m okay.”

She frowned, not buying it. “Let’s go have dinner,” she said again.

He shifted his weight and glanced at her, stalling for time. “Dinner already?” he said. “Isn’t it a little early for that?”

“We have to eat early. I have to be at work at five.”

He looked at her as though her entire speech surprised him. “What do you do?”

She liked surprising him. She threw him a sassy grin. “I sling hash.”

The look of shock on his face astonished her, though she had to admit that the thought of working in a greasy spoon would once have sent her reeling as well. And if her mother ever found out, she would probably have her committed to a home for dangerously unbalanced young ladies.

“Actually, it’s in a very nice little restaurant in town. We serve Pacific Rim fusion food, things like mu shu pork in tortillas and Cornish game hens in Thai peanut sauce.”

He was still staring at her as though he didn’t believe a word she said. She waited for a moment, then shrugged, feeling a little wobbly herself.

“It’s not all that extraordinary,” she said with a touch of irritation. “What did you think I was, a lady of leisure or something?”

“No, I sure didn’t think that,” he said quickly. Then he frowned, seeing something behind her. “Is that your kid?” he asked.

She turned and saw Robbie at the door. The moment her gaze caught him, he slipped back into the house, and she shaded her eyes, wondering why he was acting uncharacteristically shy. “Yes, that’s him,” she said, then she gestured toward the house. “Come on,” she told him seriously. “Let’s get you fed and rested and then I’ll figure out where I’m going to put you for the night.”

That brought a quick reaction from him. Something deep in his eyes changed and he straightened, rubbing his chin with the heel of his hand. “No, listen, I’m out of here. I was just trying to split a few of your logs to try to pay you back for all you’ve done. I’ve got to get going, get up to my cabin and...”

His mind on his excuses, he made the mistake of trying to take a step toward her by putting weight on his weak leg and it deserted him entirely. He lurched and she sprang forward to break his fall. Her body caught his and her hand grasped the hard curve of his biceps, and the immediate sense of coming in contact with a man went through her as though she’d been struck by lightning.

“Here, lean on me,” she managed to get out around the catch in her breath. She knew she was quivering with a visceral reaction to his physical strength, she only hoped he didn’t notice. His body was long and hard and her own body was responding to it in a way she hadn’t felt for years—a way she hadn’t expected—a way that made her want to stop and listen to her heart beating like a captured thing in her chest.

Dangerous. The word echoed in her mind. He was danger all right, but that didn’t mean she had to give in to it.

“I don’t think so,” he was saying, pulling away from her so quickly, it was almost a recoil. “I don’t need help. I’ve got to do this on my own.”

He started toward the house and she followed slowly, trying to calm herself. This was wild. She never did things like this. But her body seemed to have a will of its own today. And she had to admit—it was pretty exhilarating.

“I’ll get out of your way,” he muttered, starting to bypass the house.

“No,” she cried, jumping forward and slipping her hand into the crook of his arm. “You come on in the house. I’m going to feed you, at least. Look at you, practically wasting away here.”

He turned his head and met her gaze and she felt as though he saw right through her, knew she’d grabbed his arm because she wanted to feel his muscles again, knew she wanted to keep him around as long as she could—just because. A flush filled her cheeks, but she didn’t care. That sparkling feeling was filling her with a sense of life she hadn’t had in a long time.

“Come on,” she urged, tugging on his arm. “Come eat.”

He came with her, but reluctantly, and he let her lead him. She knew he hated feeling weak this way, but she also had a feeling that wasn’t all there was to his hesitation. The awareness that had sparked between them earlier had come to life again when she’d broken his fall and held him for a split second, and she could tell that he felt it too, and that he wasn’t happy about it. Turning resolutely, she led the way to the house, chattering about the weather.