To Catch a Groom

After turning on the answering machine, she dashed out of the basement apartment to join her sisters.

All the rituals of laying their beloved father to rest had been observed except for this visit to Mr. Carlson’s office. It was a formality. Once it was behind them, they’d be able to channel their sorrow by expanding their growing business.

Twenty minutes later they arrived at the law firm in downtown Kingston, New York. The receptionist showed them into the conference room where a TV and DVD player had been set up.

Soon after they’d sat down, Mr. Carlson walked in with a legal file under one arm. He greeted them, shook hands, then took his place at the end of the rectangular conference table.

“Your father asked me to read you a letter he wrote in his own hand.” He opened the file and drew it out. Once his bifocals were in place, he cleared his throat.

“To my darling daughters Greer, Piper and Olivia, whom I’ve always referred to as my precious pigeons. You came along after I turned fifty and had despaired of ever giving your mother children—

“If Walter Carlson has assembled you for the reading of this will, then it means my troublesome old ticker finally gave out and you’ve already been informed that our humble home has to be sold to pay all the medical expenses.

“I wish I could have left it to you, but it wasn’t meant to be. At least you aren’t saddled with debts. Walt will pay the latest bills and is taking care of everything. He’s aware you need time to find another place to live. Therefore he will be the one to let you know how soon you must move out.

“My greatest sadness is that none of you has ever shown the slightest inclination to marry. It worried your mother before she died, and it upsets me even more. I remember her last words to you: find a good man to marry right away and settle down to raise a family. My last words echo hers.

“To that end I’m bequeathing $5,000 to each of you. It’s from the Husband Fund your mother and I created before she passed away. You can spend it any way you want so long as it’s used in the pursuit of a spouse to help you enjoy this life to the fullest.

“You will receive those checks today. For this day and age it’s not much, but it’s given with all my love. I know my girls will be fine because you’re intelligent, talented, resourceful and have created a solid Internet business since college. However as you will discover when you put this money to the proper use, there’s more to life than earning a living.

“To stimulate your thinking, I’m insisting you remain in Walt’s office to watch your mother’s favorite classic. Humor me and make your old dad happy. I want only the best for my beautiful girls. You and your mother always were my greatest joy.

“Signed, Your loving, concerned father, Matthew Duchess, February 2, Kingston, New York.”

When Mr. Carlson finished reading the letter and looked up, Greer turned her blond head to eye her fair-haired sisters seated around the table.

Because their dad’s health had been deteriorating long before they’d buried him six weeks ago, they’d already been through the most painful part of their mourning period. Certainly with all the bills owing to the extra health care costs for both their mom and dad, the idea of an inheritance had never crossed their minds.

To find out their parents had left them any money at all came as a total surprise. But the mention of a Husband Fund completely soured the gift for Greer.

Not only that…she balked at the idea of being forced to view the film their funny, dear mom must have seen too many times to count.

It was one of those Hollywood movies about three women who decide to get married and scheme to find a millionaire in the process. However their mother had never been able to get Greer to watch it because Greer found the concept utterly absurd.

If a woman wanted that kind of money, she didn’t need a man. All she had to do was become a millionaire herself!

But their mother had been born in a different era with a completely different mind-set about a woman’s choices in life.

Being a hopeless romantic, she’d named her nonidentical triplets for her favorite movie stars. In fact she’d raised her daughters on fairy tales.

Greer had never been a great proponent of them.

While Olivia and Piper swooned over the beautiful girl ending up with the handsome prince just because she was beautiful, Greer often upset her sisters by fabricating her own renditions.

She much preferred that the beautiful, innocent, helpless heroine use her brain to figure out a financial scheme to buy the castle and lands from Prince Charming who needed a lot more going for him than charm to attract her and win her hand in marriage.

Greer had shocked their mother when she’d told her it was probably a man who’d thought up all those fractured fairy tales.

It wasn’t that Greer had anything against men per se. In fact she loved to date and often tripled dated with her sisters. Don and his friends had been the latest bunch of guys they’d gone out with as a group. But she drew the line at a serious relationship.

There was plenty of time for marriage in the future. Her own parents hadn’t married until much later in life when they were finally ready to settle down and have a family. That was good enough for her.

Many times Greer, the oldest of the triplets who’d always espoused the “all for one, one for all” theory, had told her sisters that getting married would spoil the fun of building the business they’d started from scratch to see how far they could take it.

She glanced back at the attorney. “Do we have to stay and watch the film?”

“Only if you want your five thousand dollars. That was your father’s stipulation. If you choose not to sit through the viewing, I’m to give the money to the cancer foundation in your mother’s memory.” His brows lifted. “For what it’s worth, I’ve seen it several times and enjoy it more every time.”

Greer rolled her eyes in disbelief, ready to bolt, but her sisters made no move to leave. Deep down she knew why. As much as the three of them hated the idea of being a captive audience to such a ridiculous movie, they were faced with a moral dilemma.

Because of the restrictions about the money, it was no good to them and would never be spent. But they couldn’t walk out now. That would be like throwing everything back in their parents’ faces. The sobering realization that they’d had the best mother and father in the world kept them nailed to their chairs.

After crossing one long, elegant leg over the other, Greer waited while Mr. Carlson, who had to be in his seventies, moved the TV closer.

Once he started the DVD, she sat back in the leather chair prepared to suffer through another story no doubt written, produced and cast by men, for men.

Not only was the movie much worse than she’d thought, Mr. Carlson was glued to the screen, glassy eyed. Ten minutes into the film and Greer had to bite her lip to keep from bursting into laughter.

Flashing her sisters a covert glance, she sensed they were having the same problem. But out of respect for their father’s wishes, they managed to contain themselves.

When the show came to an end, a collective silence filled the room before Mr. Carlson realized it was time to shut off the DVD.

He turned to them. “Would thirty days give you girls enough time to vacate the house?”

“We’ve already moved to Mrs. Weyland’s basement apartment across the street from us,” Greer informed him.

The girls nodded. “We left our home spotless.”

“The keys are in this envelope along with a paper that lists our cell phone numbers and the address of our new apartment.” Greer pushed it toward him before she shot out of her chair, ready to go.

He rose more slowly and handed them their checks. “You’re as remarkable and self-sufficient as your father always told me you were. Yet I could hope for your sakes you’ll take your parents’ advice.” He stared pointedly at Greer. “Women weren’t meant to be on their own.”

The man’s sincerity couldn’t be doubted. But his comment happened to be one of the twelve comments appearing on the calendar she’d thought up last year featuring Men’s Most Notable Quotes About Women. The calendar had been an instant success.

Greer didn’t dare look at her sisters or she would have cracked up on the spot. Hilarity had been building inside her. She couldn’t stifle it any longer. They had to get out of there quick!

“Thank you for everything, Mr. Carlson.”

So saying, Greer made a beeline for the door, clutching the check in hand. Her sisters followed.

They hurried down the hall to the crowded elevator. By some miracle they reached their father’s old Pontiac parked around the corner before they exploded with laughter.

Since Olivia had a better sense of direction than the others, she always drove them when they were together.

“After the first close-up of Betty Grable, I thought we were going to have to call emergency for Mr. Carlson!”

“That generation’s hopeless.”