Good Morning, Midnight

Cressida turned her attention from the ambulance’s emptiness to the others around her, seeming to register them for the first time. Her attention focused on the tall slim woman.

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ she demanded.

‘Hello, Cressida,’ said the woman mildly. ‘I think we ought to ask someone in authority just what’s happened here, don’t you?’

‘Oh, you do, do you? Well, any interest you might have had in what happens here ended ten fucking years ago. Now all you’re doing is trespassing. Get off my property before I throw you off,’ snarled Cressida, taking an aggressive step towards the tall woman.

‘Your property, Cress? What do you mean, your property? It’s as much mine as yours, and Kay’s here with me, so just shut up!’

This was Gaea, her voice shrill, her pretty face contorted.

‘Jesus Christ, can’t you two just grow up and stop acting like a pair of sodding schoolgirls! It’s Pal, my husband, your brother, we should be worried about here, not who owns what, right?’

This was the Spider Woman. Her reproaches, far from calming things down, merely drew the fire of both the sisters, who seemed united in dislike of their sister-in-law if nothing else.

The Handsome Sailor meanwhile was heading towards the house. He looked in superb shape but Bonnick, who made such a big thing of physical fitness, ought to be able to take care of him, thought Pascoe. On the other hand once the trio of quarrelling women diverted their attention from the ambulance and each other to what lay inside the house, even the redoubtable Bonnick could be in bother.

The blond reached the doorway, the sergeant spoke to him, the young man began to push past, Bonnick tried to apply a basic armlock which the other evaded with practised ease. Realizing he was dealing with someone who’d done the same unarmed-combat courses as himself, the sergeant threw restraint to the winds and the young man to the ground, only to have his legs swept from under him. Next moment, the two were grappling on the doorstep, while the angry voices of the three women rose in volume and intensity.

Definitely time to assert his authority, thought Pascoe, taking a deep breath. At least things couldn’t get any worse.

He was of course wrong.

As he moved unhappily towards the ambulance, he heard a great voice as of a trumpet speak to him from the darkness behind the headlights.

‘Evening, Chief Inspector. I’m glad to see you’ve got everything here under control.’

And out of the mist into the light stepped the bulky figure of Detective Superintendent Andrew Dalziel.

10 (#ulink_23be7c62-d23a-5cbd-b42c-22eedb663404)

a shark in the pool (#ulink_23be7c62-d23a-5cbd-b42c-22eedb663404)

It would be hard to describe Andy Dalziel as a soothing presence, but like a shark dumped in a swimming pool, he provided a new and unignorable focus of attention.

Reactions to his arrival were various.

Pascoe said, ‘What the fuck’s he doing here?’

Ellie said, ‘God alone knows, but I’m sure if we wait he’ll tell us.’

The wrestlers carried on wrestling.

Cressida, Spider Woman and Earth Mother regarded him with wary neutrality.

Only the tall slim woman looked pleased to see him.

‘Andy, it’s so good to see you again,’ she said, smiling as if she meant it.

She stepped forward to meet him, holding out her hand.

‘You too, Kay,’ said Dalziel, taking the hand. ‘Though mebbe not here.’

‘On the contrary,’ said the woman, who had a soft unobtrusive American accent. ‘Here is perfect. We need to know what’s going on, and I’m sure if anyone can tell us, you can.’

‘I’d best find out then,’ he said, releasing the hand, which he’d been holding in a kissing rather than a shaking grip. ‘Ladies, if you’d just be patient a bit longer …’

Cressida looked as if she might be about to assert that in her view patience was for monuments but subsided as his gaze locked with hers for a second before passing on to the ambulance crew.

‘Detective Superintendent Dalziel,’ he said. ‘What’s going off, lads?’

‘Nothing for us here.’ The driver glanced towards the women and lowered his voice. ‘Just body removal, and your lot don’t know when that will be authorized.’

‘So you thought you’d shog off home?’

‘No! We got an all-units call. Big pile-up in fog on the bypass.’

‘Oh aye? Then what are you still skiving round here for?’ demanded Dalziel.

Indignation at the injustice of this rose in the ambulance men’s eyes, decided it didn’t care for the view, and dived back under.

‘Right, we’ll be off then,’ said the driver.

The ambulance pulled away. Kay Kafka put her arm as far round the Earth Mother as it would go. The other two women exchanged a glower then concentrated on the Fat Man’s retreating figure. On the doorstep the Handsome Sailor had been subdued, but only after Bonnick had been reinforced by the arrival of PC Maycock. For the moment peace was restored.

‘Right, sunshine,’ said Dalziel. ‘What’s going off then, apart from bloody chaos?’

‘How should I know?’ retorted Pascoe. ‘I just got here myself. I’m not psychic.’

‘Hoity-toity,’ said Dalziel. ‘See you brought the family. Little Rosie’s in the back of the car, is she?’

‘No, she isn’t. I just happened to be picking up Ellie when I heard the call.’

‘So none of that lot’s with you?’

‘Well actually, Cressida – she’s the one with the hair – it was her house I was picking up Ellie from …’

‘So you said, “Fancy a lift, luv?” Kind of you, Peter. Gets the Force a good name. Did you pick up the others en route?’

‘Of course not,’ said Pascoe indignantly. ‘They all turned up after I got here, which was when the trouble started. How the hell did they get past Jennison on the gate anyway?

‘How owt gets past yon bugger, I don’t know. Man can’t have any self-respect to let himself get in that shape,’ said Dalziel sanctimoniously. Perhaps, thought Pascoe incredulously, he sees himself as slim!

‘Any road,’ he went on, ‘I gather there’s a body in here and I’d say this gang have all turned up ’cos they’re worried it’s Pal Maciver. So let’s go in and see if we can put them out of their misery. Or do I mean into it?’

He strode towards the front door. As he passed Ellie he said, ‘What fettle, luv? Enjoying your night out?’

‘Always a pleasure watching professionals at their work, Andy,’ she replied.