I unlaced my blue servant’s shirt and opened it. While she watched, I thrust the pin into the facing of the shirt. From the outside, nothing showed, but when I fastened my shirt again, I could feel the tiny fox against my breast.
I cleared my throat. ‘You honour me. And as you have said you hold me as close as your brother, then I shall ask a question that I am sure Rurisk would have asked you. I shall be so bold as to demand why you keep amongst your ladies one who once attempted to take your life. And that of your unborn child.’
Her glance was genuinely quizzical. Then, as if someone had poked her with a pin, she gave a small start, and ‘Oh, you mean Lady Rosemary.’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘It has been so long … All of that was so very long ago, Fitz. You know, when I look at her, I do not even think of that. When Regal and his household returned here at the end of the Red Ship War, Rosemary was among the train. Her mother had died, and she had been … neglected. At first, I could not abide to have either her or Regal in my presence. But there were appearances to preserve, and his abject apologies and vows of loyalty to the unborn heir and me were … useful. It served to unite the Six Duchies, for with him he brought the nobility of Tilth and Farrow. And we needed that support, desperately. It would have been so easy for the Six Duchies to follow the Red Ship War with a civil strife. There are so many differences among the duchies. But Regal’s influence was enough to sway his nobles back to allegiance to me. Then Regal died, so strangely and so violently. It was unavoidable that there were mutterings that I had had him murdered in vengeance for old wrongs. Chade advised me strongly that I must make gestures among his nobles to bind them to me. So I did. I put Lady Patience in his place at Tradeford, for I felt I must have strong support there. But his other holdings I distributed judiciously amongst those that most needed quelling.’
‘And Lord Bright’s reaction to that?’ I asked. This was all news to me. Bright had been Regal’s heir, and was Duke of Farrow now. Much of what they had ‘distributed’ was doubtless his hereditary wealth.
‘I recompensed him in other ways. After his dismal performance at defending Buck and Buckkeep, he was on shaky ground. He could not protest strongly, for he had not inherited Regal’s influence with the nobles. Yet I strove to make him not only content with his lot, but a better ruler than he otherwise would have been. I saw to his schooling, in things other than fine wine and dress. Most of his years as Duke of Farrow have been spent right here in Buckkeep. Patience manages his Tradeford holdings for him, probably far better than he would have himself, for she has the common sense to appoint people who know what they are doing. And she sends reports to him monthly, far more detailed than he relishes, but I insist he go over them with one of my treasury men, not only to be sure he understands them, but also that he must profess he is satisfied with how they fare. And I think that now, he genuinely is.’
‘I suspect his duchess has something to do with that,’ I hazarded.
Kettricken had the grace to flush slightly. ‘Chade thought he might be better content wedded. And it is time he got himself an heir. Left single, he was an invitation to discord at the court.’
‘Who selected her?’ I tried not to sound cold.
‘Lord Chade suggested several young women of good family who had the … requisite qualities. After that, I saw that they were introduced. And that the families knew I would be pleased at the prospect of the Duke selecting one of their daughters. The competition spread rapidly amongst the chosen women. But Lord Bright selected his own bride from amongst them. I but saw that he had the opportunity to choose …’
‘Someone who was tractable and not too ambitious. A daughter of someone loyal to the Queen.’ I filled in the rest.
She met my eyes squarely. ‘Yes.’ She caught a small breath. ‘Do you fault me, FitzChivalry? You, who were my first instructor in managing the intrigues of the court to my advantage?’
I smiled at her. ‘No. In truth, I am proud of you. And from the look on Lord Bright’s face at last-night’s festivities, you chose well for him, in heart as well as in allegiance.’
She gave a sigh, almost of relief. ‘Thank you. For I value your regard, FitzChivalry, as I ever have. I would not want to think I had shamed myself before you.’
‘I doubt that you could,’ I replied, truthfully as well as gallantly. Then, dragging the conversation back to my interest, ‘And Rosemary?’
‘After Regal died, most of his hangers-on dispersed to their family holdings, and some to inspect new holdings I had given them. No one claimed Rosemary. Her father had died before she was born. Her mother had his title, Lady Celeffa of Firwood, but the title was little more than words. Firwood is a tiny holding, a beggar’s fiefdom. There is a manor house there, but I am told it has not been inhabited in some years. But for being in Prince Regal’s favour, Lady Celeffa would never have come to court at all.’ She sighed. ‘So there was Rosemary, an orphan at eight, and not in favour with the Queen. I suspect you need little help to imagine how she was treated by the court.’
I had to wince. I could recall how I had been treated.
‘I tried to ignore her. But Chade would not let it rest. Nor in truth could I.’
‘She was a danger to you. A half-trained assassin, taught by Regal to hate you. She could not simply be left to wander about as she pleased.’
She was silent for a moment. Then, ‘Now you sound like Chade. No. She was worse than that. She was a neglected child in my home, a little girl blamed by me for becoming what she was taught to be. A daily rebuke to me for my own neglect of her and my hardness of heart. If I had been all to her that a lady should be to her page, Regal could not have taken her heart from me.’
‘Unless he had it before she ever came to you.’
‘And even then, I should have known it. If I had not been so focused on my own life and problems.’
‘She was your page, not your daughter!’
She was silent for a time. ‘You forget, I was raised in the Mountains, to be Sacrifice to my people, Fitz. Not a queen, such as you expect. I demand more of myself.’
I stepped to the side of that argument. ‘So it was your decision to keep her.’
‘Chade said I must either keep her or be rid of her entirely. I was filled with horror at his words. Kill a child for doing what she had been taught? And then his words made me see all of it clearly. It would have been kinder to kill her outright than to torture and neglect her as I had been doing. So. That night I went to her chamber. Alone. She was terrified of me, and her room was cold and near bare, the bedding gone unwashed I don’t know how long. She had outgrown her nightgown; it was torn at the shoulders and far too short for her. She curled up on the bed as far from me as she could get and just stared at me. Then I asked her which she would prefer, to be fostered out to Lady Patience or to be my page again.’
‘And she chose to be your page.’
‘And she burst into tears and threw herself to the floor and clung to my skirts and said she had thought I didn’t like her any more. She sobbed so hard that before I could calm her, her hair was plastered flat to her skull with sweat and she was shaking all over. Fitz, I was ashamed to have been so cruel to a child, not by what I had done, but simply by ignoring her. Only Chade and I ever knew that we suspected her of trying to harm me. But my simple shunning of her had given the lesser folk of the keep permission to be cruel and callous to her. Her little slippers were all gone to tatters …’ Her voice trailed off, and despite myself, I felt a stab of pity for Rosemary. Kettricken took a deep breath and resumed her tale. ‘She begged to be allowed to serve me again. Fitz, she was not even seven years old when she did Regal’s bidding. She never hated me, or understood what she did. To her, I am sure it was a game, to listen in secret and repeat all that she heard.’
I tried to be pragmatic and hard. ‘And greasing the steps so you would fall?’
‘Would she be told the why of it, or simply told to put the grease on the steps after I had gone up to the roof garden? To a child, it might have been framed as a prank.’
‘Did you ask her?’
A pause. ‘Some things are best left alone. Even if she knew the intent was to make me fall, I do not think she realized the full import of it. I think perhaps that I was two people to her, the woman that Regal wanted to bring down, and Kettricken whom she served every day. The one who should be blamed for her conduct is dead. And ever since I took her back to my side, she has been nothing but a loyal and diligent subject to me.’ She sighed and stared past me as she went on, ‘The past must be left in the past, Fitz. This is especially true for those who rule. I must wed my son to a daughter of an Outislander. I must promote trade and alliance with the folk who doomed my king to death. Shall I quibble about taking a little spy under my wing and turning her into a lady of my court?’
I took a deep breath. If in fifteen years she had not regretted her decision, no words of mine would change it now. Nor should they, perhaps. ‘Well. I suppose I should have expected it. You did not quibble to take an assassin as your adviser when you came to court.’
‘As my first friend here,’ she corrected me gravely. She furrowed her forehead. When I had met her, she had not had those lines on her brow and between her eyes, but now use had set them there. ‘I am not happy with this charade we must keep. I would have you at my side to advise me, and to teach my son. I would have you honoured as my friend as well as a Farseer.’
‘It cannot be,’ I told her firmly. ‘And this is better. I am more use to you in this role, and less risk to you and the Prince.’
‘And more risk to yourself. Chade has told me that Piebalds threatened you, right upon our doorstep in Buckkeep Town.’
I discovered that I hadn’t wanted her to know that. ‘It is a thing best handled by me. Perhaps I can tease them out into the open.’
‘Well. Perhaps. But I am ashamed that you face such things seemingly alone. In truth, I hate that such bigotry still exists in the Six Duchies, and that our nobles turn a blind eye to it. I have done what I could for my Witted folk, but progress has been slow. When the Piebald postings first began to appear, they angered me. Chade urged me not to act in the heat of that anger. Now, I wonder if it would not have been wise to let my wrath be known. My second reaction was that I wished to let my Witted folk know that my justice was available to them. I wanted to send out a summons, inviting the leaders of the Witted to come to me, that together we might hammer out a shield for them against the cruelty of these Piebalds.’ She shook her head.
‘Again Chade intervened, telling me that the Witted had no recognized leaders, and that they would not trust the Farseers enough to come to such a meeting. We had no go-between that they would trust, and no sureties we could offer them that this was not a plan to lure them in and destroy them. He persuaded me to abandon the idea.’ Her words seemed to come more reluctantly as she added, ‘Chade is a good councillor, wise in politics and the ways of power. Yet I sometimes feel that he would steer us solely on the basis of what makes the Six Duchies most stable, with less thought for justice for all my people.’ Her fair brow wrinkled as she added, ‘He says that the greater the stability of the country, the more chance there is for justice to prosper. Perhaps he is right. But often and often I have longed for the way you and I used to discuss these things. There, too, I have missed you, FitzChivalry. I dislike that I cannot have you at my side when I wish it, but must send for you in secret. I wish that I could invite you to join Peottre and I for our game today, for I would value your opinion of him. He is a most intriguing man.’
‘Your game with Peottre today?’
‘I shared some talk with him last evening. In the course of discussing the chance that Dutiful and Elliania would be truly happy, other talk of ‘chance’ came up. And from there, we moved to games of chance. Do you recall a Mountain game played with cards and rune chips?’
I dredged through my memory. ‘I think you spoke of it to me once. And yes, I recall reading a scroll about it, when I was recovering from Regal’s first attempt on me.’
‘There are cards or tablets, either painted on heavy paper or carved on thin slabs of wood. They have emblems from our old tales, such as Old Weaver Man and Hunter in Hiding. The rune chips have runes on them, for Stone, Water and Pasture.’
‘Yes. I’m sure I’ve heard of it.’
‘Well, Peottre wants me to teach him to play it. He was very interested when I spoke of it. He says that in the Outislands they have a game played with rune cubes, where they are shaken and tumbled out. Then the players set out their markers onto a cloth or board that is painted with minor godlings, such as Wind and Smoke and Tree. It sounds as if it might be a similar game, does it not?’
‘Perhaps,’ I conceded. But her face had brightened at the prospect of teaching Peottre this new game in a way that was out of proportion to the pleasure I expected her to take in it. Did my queen find this bluff Outislander warrior attractive? ‘You must tell me more of this game later. I would like to hear if the runes on the dice are similar to the runes on your rune chips.’
‘That would be intriguing, wouldn’t it? If the runes resembled one another? Especially as some of the runes from my game were similar to the runes on the Skill-pillars.’
‘Ah.’ Kettricken was still capable of putting me off-balance. She had always seemed able to think along several lines at once, bringing oddly disparate facts together to make a pattern others missed. This had been how she had rediscovered the lost map to the kingdom of the Elderlings. I felt suddenly as if she had given me too much to think over.
I stood to excuse myself, bowed, and then wished I had words to thank her. An instant later it seemed a strange impulse, to thank someone for mourning someone you had loved. I made a fumbling effort, but she stopped me, coming to take both my hands in hers. ‘And perhaps only you understood what I felt at Verity’s loss. To see him transformed, to know he would triumph, and yet still to mourn selfishly that I would never again see him again as the man he had been. This is not the first tragedy we have shared, FitzChivalry. We both have walked alone through much of our lives.’