Fool’s Quest

‘The mother you scarcely remember.’

‘I remember her enough to say that my child looks like her. And I remember Molly well enough to know that Bee is my daughter. Without question. Fool, this is not worthy of you.’

He lowered his eyes and bowed his head. ‘So few things are, any more,’ he decided. He rose with a lurch that shook the table. ‘I’m going back to the bed. I don’t feel well.’ He shuffled away from me, one knotted hand feeling the air before him while the other curled protectively near his chin.

‘I know you’re not well,’ I replied, suddenly repentant for how harshly I’d rebuked him. ‘You are not yourself, Fool. But you will be again. You will be.’

‘Do you think so?’ he asked. He did not turn toward me but spoke to the empty air in front of him. ‘I am not certain of that myself. I’ve spent over a decade with people who insisted that I was never who I thought I was. Never the White Prophet, only a boy with vivid dreams. And what you have just told me makes me wonder if they did not have the right of it.’

I hated seeing him so defeated. ‘Fool. Remember what you told me so long ago. We move now in a time that you never foresaw. One where we are both alive.’

He made no response to my words. He reached the bed, groped along the edge, then turned and sat down on it. Then he more crumpled than lay down, pulled the covers up over his head and was completely still.

‘I tell you the truth, old friend. I have a daughter, a small girl who depends on me. And I cannot leave her. I must be the one to raise her, to teach her and protect her. It’s a duty I can’t forsake. And one I do not want to abandon.’ I tidied as I spoke, wiping away the food he had spilled, corking the remainder of the wine. I waited and my heart continued to sink as he made no response. Finally I said, ‘What you asked me to do last night. I’d do it for you. You know that. If I could, I would. But now I ask you, as you asked me last night; for my sake, understand that I must say no to you. For now.’

The silence unspooled like a dropped ball of yarn. I’d said the words I must, and the sense of them would soak into him. He was not a selfish man, nor a cruel one. He’d recognize the truth of what I had told him. I couldn’t go anywhere with him, no matter how badly someone needed to be killed. I had a child to raise and protect. Bee had to come first. I went to the bedside and smoothed the bedclothes on my side of the bed. Perhaps he’d fallen asleep. I spoke softly.

‘I can’t be here this evening,’ I told him. ‘Chade has a task for me. It may be very late before I come back. Will you be all right alone here?’

Still no response. I wondered if he truly had fallen asleep that quickly, or if he were sulking. Leave it alone, Fitz, I counselled myself. He was a sick man. Rest would do more for him than anything else.

TWO (#u3d25a392-53b8-5238-8753-9c3fda3d1d09)

Lord Feldspar (#u3d25a392-53b8-5238-8753-9c3fda3d1d09)

What is a secret? It is much more than knowledge shared with only a few, or perhaps only one other. It is power. It is a bond. It may be a sign of deep trust, or the darkest threat possible.

There is power in the keeping of a secret, and power in the revelation of a secret. Sometimes it takes a very wise man to discern which is the path to greater power.

All men desirous of power should become collectors of secrets. There is no secret too small to be valuable. All men value their own secrets far above those of others. A scullery maid may be willing to betray a prince before allowing the name of her secret lover to be told.

Be very chary of telling your hoarded secrets. Many lose all power once they have been divulged. Be even more careful of sharing your own secrets lest you find yourself a puppet dancing on someone else’s strings.

Confidence Mayhen – The Assassin’s Other Tool

I’d not eaten much, but my appetite was gone. I tidied our table. The Fool was either asleep or feigning it perfectly. I resigned myself to silence from him. With some trepidation, I dressed myself in the clothing that Chade had provided for Lord Feldspar. It fitted me well enough, though it was looser around the chest and belly than I had expected it to be. I was surprised at how comfortable it was. I transferred a few of the items from one concealed pocket to another. I sat down to put on the shoes. They had more of a heel than I was accustomed to, and extended far past my foot before terminating in upcurled toes decorated with little tassels. I tried a few steps in them, and then walked the length of the chamber five times until I was certain that I could move with confidence and not trip myself.

Chade had a large looking-glass of excellent quality, as much for his own vanity as for the training of his apprentices. I recalled one long night when he had me stand in front of it for most of a watch, trying to smile first sincerely, then disarmingly, then sarcastically, then humbly … his list had gone on and on, until my face ached. Now I lifted a branch of candles and looked at Lord Feldspar of Spiretop. There was also a hat, rather like a soft bag, edged with gilt embroidery and a row of decorative buttons and incorporating a fine wig of brown ringlets. I set it on my head and wondered if it was supposed to wilt over to one side as much as it did.

Chade kept a tinker’s tray of odd jewellery in the cupboard. I chose two showy rings for myself and hoped they would not turn my fingers green. I warmed water and shaved and inspected myself again. I had just resigned myself to creeping out of the room under the smelly garments in Lady Thyme’s old room when I felt a slight draught. I stood still, listening, and at just the right moment, I asked, ‘Don’t you think it’s time you entrusted me with the trick of triggering that door?’

‘I suppose I will have to, now that you are Lord Feldspar and inhabiting the room below.’ Chade stepped around the corner, halted, and then nodded his approval at my attire. ‘The trigger is not where you’d think it would be. It’s not even on this wall. Look here.’ He walked to the hearth, swung a brick aside, mortar and all, and showed me a black iron lever. ‘It’s a bit stiff. I’ll have the boy grease it later.’ And so saying, he pulled the lever and the draught was abruptly closed off.

‘How do you open the door from my old room?’ I’d lost count of how many hours I’d spent searching for that trigger when I was a boy.

He sighed and then smiled. ‘One after another, my secrets have fallen to you. I’ll confess, I’ve always been amused by your inability to find that one. I thought that surely you would stumble on it by accident if nothing else. It’s in the drapery pull. Close the curtains completely, and then give a final tug. You won’t see or hear a thing, but then you can push the door open. And now you know.’

‘And now I know,’ I agreed. ‘After half a century of wondering.’

‘Surely not half a century.’

‘I’m sixty,’ I reminded him. ‘And you started me in the trade when I was less than ten. So, yes, half a century and more.’

‘Don’t remind me of my years,’ he told me, and then sat down with a sigh. ‘It’s unfair of you to prate of passing time when it seems to touch you not at all. Tip your hat a bit more to the back. That’s it. Before you go, we’ll redden your nose a little and give you higher colour in your cheeks so it will appear you’ve begun your drinking early. And we’ll thicken your brows.’ He tilted his head to consider me critically. ‘And that should be enough to keep anyone from recognizing you. What’s this?’ he demanded, pulling Bee’s parcel toward him.

‘Something that I’d like to dispatch immediately to Withywoods. Things for Bee. I had to leave her quite abruptly, in a very peculiar way. It’s the first Winterfest since her mother died. I’d hoped to be there with her.’

‘It will be on its way within the day,’ he promised me gravely. ‘I sent a small troop of guards there this morning. If I’d known you had a message, I would have sent it with them. They’ll travel swiftly.’

‘It has little gifts for her from the market. For a late Winterfest surprise. Wait, you sent a troop of guards? Why?’

‘Fitz, where are your wits? You’ve left Shun and FitzVigilant there, unprotected. You haven’t even doorguards. Luckily I’ve one or two fellows about the place who know their business. Not much muscle among them, but keen eyes. They’ll warn Lant if they see anything threatening. And weather permitting, my troop will be there in three days or so. They’re a rough band, but I’ve seen that their commander is bringing them around. Captain Stout keeps them on a taut lead, until he lets them loose. And then nothing stops them.’ He sounded very satisfied with his choice. He drummed his fingers on the table edge. ‘Though the daily bird hasn’t arrived, but sometimes that happens when the weather is foul.’

‘Daily bird?’

‘Fitz, I am a thorough man. I watch over my own. That includes you, for all your years there. And now when a messageless bird arrives, I know that all is well for Lant and Shun as well. It’s only sensible.’

I’d known he had at least one watcher in place at Withywoods. I hadn’t realized that a daily report had been sent to him. Well, not a report. A bird with no message meant all was well. ‘Chade, I’m ashamed that I gave no thought to Shun and FitzVigilant when I brought the Fool here. You entrusted them to me. It was a dire situation: I’m afraid it drove all other thoughts out of my head.’

He was nodding as I spoke, his face grave and his mouth without expression. I’d disappointed him. He cleared his throat and very deliberately shifted the topic. ‘So. Do you think you can masquerade as Lord Feldspar for an evening or three? It would be very handy for me if I had a man mingling with the crowd who knew how to listen and how to steer a conversation.’

‘I think I can still do that.’ I felt abashed at failing him. This was the least I could do. ‘What were you hoping to discover?’

‘Oh, the usual. Anything interesting. Who is trying to make deals out of sight of the crown? Who has been offering bribes to get better trading terms; who has been taking bribes? What is the general feeling about placating the dragons? Of course, the most valuable information you can discover would be any little facts that we aren’t expecting.’

‘Do I have any specific targets?’

‘Five. No, six, perhaps.’ He scratched his ear. ‘I trust you to find a trail and follow it. I’ll make some suggestions, but keep your ears open for any interesting propositions.’

And for the next few hours he educated me in the various seesaws of power currently in play in the Six Duchies. He described each of the four men and two women that he wished me to spy upon, right down to their preferences for drink, which ones used smoke and the two that were rumoured to be meeting behind their spouses’ backs. Chade gave me a swift tutoring on copper mining so that I could at least appear knowledgeable, and advised me to maintain a crafty silence should anyone ask me detailed questions about my operations or the new vein of ore we had reportedly discovered.

And for a time, I put my life and time back in the old man’s hands. It would not be fair to say that I forgot my grief at losing Molly or stopped worrying about Bee or resigned myself to the Fool’s declining health. What I did was to step outside of my real life and step back into one in which all I had to do was obey Chade’s directives and report back to him what I had learned. There was deep comfort in that. It was almost healing to discover that despite all I had been through, all my losses and all my daily fears and worries, I was still Fitz and this was something I was still very good at.

When he had finished informing me for my task, he tilted his head toward the Fool’s bed. ‘How is he?’

‘Not himself. In pain and emotionally frail. I upset him and he went back to his bed. And immediately fell asleep.’

‘Not surprising. You’re wise to let him sleep.’ He picked up Bee’s parcel, weighed it in his hand and smiled indulgently. ‘I doubt that any child in Buckkeep Castle will get a heftier sack of holiday loot than this. I’ve an excellent courier. He’ll ride out tonight with this.’

‘Thank you,’ I said humbly.

He wagged a dismissive finger at me and then left, taking the package with him. I descended the hidden staircase to the room that had been mine when I was young and closed the door behind me. I halted there briefly to admire the staging of the room. There was a travelling case, of good quality, but dusty and battered as if it had come a long way. It was open and partially unpacked, with items of clothing draped carelessly over the chair. Several of the new-appearing items featured a plenitude of buttons. I made a cursory examination of the trunk’s contents. In addition to a selection of clothes that would fit me and were not obviously new, there was all that a man would be likely to pack for an extended stay. Anyone who sought to slip the lock on my room and inspect my things would most likely be convinced that I was indeed Lord Feldspar, right down to my monogrammed kerchiefs. I tucked one of those into my pocket and descended to the merrymaking of Winterfest Eve in Buckkeep.

And, oh, how I loved it. There was music and excellent food and drink of all manner flowed freely. Some people were enjoying smoke in tiny braziers at their tables. Young ladies in their best dresses flirted outrageously with young men in bright and impractical garb. More buttons. And I was not the only one in heeled slippers with twirled toes. Indeed my footwear was among the more modest in that regard. It made the lively dances of Winterfest a true contest of agility, and more than one youngster was brought low by an untimely slip.

I had only one bad moment, and that was when I glimpsed Web across the room. I became aware of Buckkeep’s Witmaster in a way that I can’t describe. I think as he quested toward me with his Wit, wondering why I seemed familiar, I somehow became aware of the magic’s touch on me. I turned away and made an excuse to leave that area of the room. I did not see him again that evening.

I located those Chade had bid me find, and insinuated myself into conversations. I appeared to drink a great deal more than I really did, and thoroughly enjoyed playing the role of a mildly inebriated lordling who bragged indiscreetly about the newfound wealth of his holdings. I moved among the merchants and tradesfolk rather than near the dais where the nobility and royalty congregated to socialize with trade delegates from Bingtown, Jamaillia and Kelsingra. I caught only passing glimpses of Lady Kettricken, dressed in a simple gown of pale yellow with trim of Buckkeep blue.