She liked to get together with friends. Sometimes they went to Denver, clubbing. Three of them, single girls, went to Las Vegas for a long weekend; now, that was a blast. Talk about hangover city.
A couple of uniformed troopers came into the bar, sat at the end and Sid brought them coffee without being asked. They had her laughing her head off in no time. She put in their dinner order and went right back to them. She seemed to have a lot to say to them, laughing and gesturing with her hands. She refilled their coffee.
“Did you hear me?” Alyssa asked.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was distracted by the cops.”
“I said, maybe we should go out sometime. What do you like to do?”
Crap, he thought. “Let me get a little settled first. I’m new around here, remember.”
“I could help with that,” she said.
“And I appreciate that, Alyssa.”
A man in a plaid shirt brought out a couple of plates from the kitchen and went behind the bar, taking them to the cops. He put a hand on Sid’s shoulder and they all laughed together. The brother, Dakota thought. They reminded him a little bit of himself and Sierra; you could feel the bond between them.
“Are you wanted or something?” Alyssa asked him.
“Huh?”
“I said, are you wanted? Do you have warrants? Because you can’t take your eyes off the cops.”
“God, I’m sorry,” he said, running a hand down his face, over his beard. “I was wondering what it would take to get on the police force. Highway patrol, maybe. A lot of military men end up in the police department or fire department. I might not be that smart but I’m definitely in shape.”
“Oh, I bet you’re very smart,” she said.
“So, tell me how you chose your career,” he said, then inwardly cringed. He really wanted to run for his life. He was a bad person. She was just being nice; he should be flattered. But he wanted her to go away so he could talk with Sid.
“Ready for another beer?” Sid asked.
“Thanks, but...” He looked at his watch. “I’m going to have to go.”
“No dinner?” she asked with a devilish curve to her lips.
“Not tonight, I’m afraid.” He stood to dig out his wallet. “You take good care of the police,” he commented.
“Absolutely. They return the favor.”
“Take care of me and Alyssa here. Keep the change. Alyssa, you staying?”
“No, I’ll walk out with you,” she said.
He put a hand on her elbow to escort her out and asked her where her car was. At the beauty shop, of course. He prayed: please don’t try anything. Wasn’t that upside down? Didn’t normal men want beautiful women to try things? Anything? But this was a real small town and he had no follow-through here. He took her keys from her, beeped her doors unlocked and nearly pushed her into the car.
“There you go,” he said with finality. “I’ll see you real soon, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, clearly disappointed in him.
“Drive carefully!”
He plunged his hands in his pockets and sauntered back toward the bar to get his vehicle. Ah, that was how Alyssa knew! She could see the bar and grill from the salon; she could see his Jeep. He got in and started the engine. Then he sat there a minute. He thought about driving around the block a couple of times, then going back. He thought about just sitting there for a while, waiting for when Sid got off work. To do what? Follow her home? “Argh,” he growled, disgusted.
Then he asked himself two questions. One—what was it about Sid that was threatening to turn him into a creep? And two—did Cal have anything in the refrigerator he could eat?
The happiest moments of my life have been
the few which I have passed at home
in the bosom of my family.
—THOMAS JEFFERSON
3 (#u8015c7ce-a0aa-536f-841c-ea149ce503bd)
SID ENJOYED WALKING home from the bar. It was nine, it was a brisk spring night and she’d put in a full, long day. She rarely stayed until closing; one of the other waitresses and Rob could manage behind the bar with the dwindling clientele. She left the weekends to the men and more energetic women. She typically worked Monday through Thursday but was willing to fill in here and there when needed. And, of course, her brother being the owner, she had good benefits.
The bar had saved her life. Well, Rob had saved her. And now she was schlepping drinks and meals and everyone was her friend. From introverted mathematician to gregarious barkeep. She didn’t know she could be this happy.
The new guy, Dakota, was a cocky one. He knew he was good-looking; she’d seen his type before and stayed far away from them. He downplayed it even though he had women crawling all over him. What was he doing? Playing hard to get? Letting the women make fools of themselves while he enjoyed the attention? If she could trust any man she might take the time to understand him. But she would only get to know as much of Dakota as could be learned with a nice big bar separating them.
She trusted one man only—her brother. Rob was the strongest, most genuine man she knew. When she was about to die of a broken heart, he came for her.
It had been a dark, desolate time. Without warning, her husband left her for another woman. They’d been together seven years; she’d put him through medical school and supported him through his residency, and when he was done, he left her. He’d been with the other woman for two years, he’d said. She had never suspected.
That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. They’d had plans. After residency he’d study for his boards, and right after passing the boards, they were going to have a baby. They hoped to have three. She thought they were in love, but while he was intimate with Sid, he was making promises to another woman. She knew they didn’t have sex very often, but wasn’t that how marriage and familiarity worked out? They talked about their future family. Was she remembering right? Was it just Sid who’d talked about their future? With her brain constantly riddled with equations, she often missed things happening right in front of her. Friends called her the absentminded professor. When David left, he had no lingering med school debt—no debt of any kind. That course of events had happened often enough that it was considered an old story—one spouse supports the other through a tough program like med school, then they divorce. It was such a cliché.
But Sid hadn’t had a clue. She should have known he didn’t love her. She should have felt it. But she herself was overworked, putting in long, long hours at the lab, drowning in data to be analyzed and sorted. She’d only been married seven years and was already grateful when David just left her alone so she could either work or rest.
She was in shock for a few months. Paralyzed with disbelief. Rob was her only family and he was struggling to raise two beautiful boys alone. They were getting by; she was so proud of them. As far as she knew, Rob didn’t date at all. But Rob had the boys. Sid had no one.
She didn’t tell anyone at work, but then her work friends weren’t social friends. They’d go out for a late-night drink sometimes after putting in a particularly grueling week; sometimes they’d have a meeting over breakfast or lunch. There was no girlfriend to call and cry to. It was different for a bunch of brainiacs. They were mostly introverts. Sid was one of the few who had a slightly social side to her personality but she could be content focusing on her work, living inside her head. Her husband had been so busy with residency she hadn’t expected much of a social life, anyway. Once he left her, she realized they rarely went out with friends, and when they did, they were usually doctors or hospital staff.
She moved through her days in a fog, going to work, writing papers, delivering lectures on quantum computing, managing a specially trained staff on UCLA’s DNA computing analysis. It seemed they were always close to a breakthrough—no time to relax, no time to play around—a quantum computer that sorted and analyzed DNA in a split second and made chromosome projections could change the world, eliminate birth defects, cure diseases. They worked off several huge government grants and contributions from foundations and patrons. They worked on tight deadline after tight deadline.
She was pretty far up the chain, on the top rung of a notable research team with only two PhDs above her. People brought their problems to her. She could hardly go to Dr. Faraday and have a breakdown and get personal advice. He was grooming his work for a Nobel Prize.
She had been very well compensated, of course. She made enough money to pay for their medium-size LA home, David’s medical school, five years of residency, her own advanced education, living expenses and, in seven years, two vacations.
She didn’t talk about her marriage, or rather her divorce. Throw a bunch of computer programmers and analysts in a room and they don’t tend to talk about their feelings.
One of the interns, a woman, noticed Sid was losing weight and seemed tired. Dr. Faraday asked her if she was getting sick. “Because we can’t afford to have you get sick.” She told him she was having some personal issues with her marriage, but she wasn’t specific and he dropped it like a hot potato.
Sidney began to suspect David had never loved her, had never been faithful, and she was too busy and too inexperienced in things like romance and relationships to see the signs. She remembered his opening line to her. “I saw an article about you in the LA Times—young physicist making waves in quantum computing.” He probably thought cha-ching. Meal ticket.
David began the divorce proceedings immediately. After all she’d done to support him he wanted half of everything they had accrued—half the savings, half the house, half of her pension! He was going to take everything she had and she’d be forced to start over. She should have found her own attorney at once but Sidney couldn’t move. She couldn’t function. She couldn’t get out of bed. Her students and coworkers emailed but she didn’t open the computer. They called her but she didn’t answer the phone. She didn’t answer the door. It was her elderly neighbor who had watched the house once when she visited Rob who’d unearthed his phone number and called him.
“Is Sidney there with you?” she had asked.