Second Chance Pass

“A few years ago. She was a real amazing, strong, beautiful woman. She did so many things—besides riding and hunting with my dad, she was also a licensed pilot and followed Dad all over the world. When both my brother and I were born, Dad was off in one conflict or another. For some of the most important times in our family, he was missing—and she never once complained or ragged on him. She admired him, respected the work he did—they were true partners. She was the strongest woman I’ve ever known.” She took a breath. “She was killed in a traffic accident in D.C. Such a waste, such a loss.”

“I’m sorry,” Cameron said. “You take after her, don’t you?”

“I hope I do. That would be the highest compliment you could give me.”

They rode along the river for a while, enjoying the crisp air, the spring foliage. Ponderosa, fir and pine spattered with sequoia rose high above them, covering the foothills. “You’re doing pretty well,” she observed.

“If this old girl doesn’t make any fast moves, I can hang in there.”

The river trail opened up into a field and Vanni stopped. “Look,” she whispered. On the other side of the field was a small herd of deer, two bucks, several doe and their babies. “It’s not even the best time of day to see them.” A gentle breeze caressed her; she removed her hat and lifted her hair off her neck to take advantage of the cooling. “What’s not to love about this place, huh?”

“Fantastic,” he agreed. “Can we take a break? Get off and walk around?”

“Sure,” she said, dismounting. She led Chico toward the river edge and he lowered his head to drink. Cameron did the same with Plenty.

Vanni gazed off at the deer. She could feel Cameron move up behind her; the warmth of his body was right there, though he didn’t touch her. Then one hand caressed her upper arm while the other pulled her hair away from her ear.

“This is the first time I’ve ever driven two hundred miles to see a woman I’ve barely met, Vanessa,” he whispered.

Vanni bit on her lower lip. She’d been sleepless last night, thinking. She knew Cameron was interested in her, but that wasn’t enough. Her mind was on Paul.

She turned around. “I’m very vulnerable, Cameron,” she said by way of warning.

“I know. I’ll treat you carefully.”

“You’re going to have to treat me patiently,” she said. “I’m not prepared to be any more than friends right now.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I’d sure like to see where this could go.”

“Friends,” she said. “Or nothing at all.”

He cocked his head and smiled. “Do friends kiss? Just to see if there’s…chemistry?”

She shook her head. “They do not. Not yet.”

“Yet is a much more encouraging response than nothing at all. I guess friends kiss when they’ve gotten to know each other and there’s trust. Do I have that right?”

She sighed deeply. If not for Paul, she might be attracted to Cameron. He was handsome, sexy, sweet. “It’s too soon. My mother-in-law jumped the gun, introducing us and—”

“Nah, it’s not Carol’s fault. I’m jumping the gun because…” He shrugged. “Because you’re beautiful and fun. So shoot me.”

She smiled at him. “I don’t think your life is in danger for calling me beautiful and fun. That’s very nice. But I’m not getting involved with you right now.”

“You said we’d be friends,” he argued. And he reached out to stroke her hair.

“Behave like a friend, Cameron. Like a Boy Scout.”

He laughed at her. “You’re asking way too much. I’ll behave, but let’s keep this in perspective. I’m a man. You’re a damn sexy woman.”

“Do I have to worry you won’t mind your manners?” she asked, lifting a brow.

“Absolutely not,” he promised. “You’re in charge.”

“Then no touching until…No touching.”

He put his hands in his pockets. “Whatever you want, Vanessa. I’m just going to—”

At that very moment, Plenty whinnied, backed away from the stream and bolted.

“Shoot!” Vanni said. “That little troublemaker.” She pushed Cameron away, grabbed the reins of the gelding, leaped into the saddle and said, “I’ll be back.” She directed her horse after Plenty. “Don’t go away,” she yelled, laughing, as if he could go anywhere, stranded as he was. She whipped at Chico’s rear flank with the end of the rein.

Vanni took off at a gallop and burst into a dead run, leaning low in the saddle and urging the horse with her heels, going after the mare. The deer lifted their heads and headed for the trees while Plenty ran across the meadow, clearly enjoying her freedom. But Plenty was no match for Chico, who was the second fastest horse in their stable. On the other side of the meadow, Vanni caught up with her, leaned out of her saddle to grab a trailing rein, pulled back on the runaway and slowed her down.

She trotted back toward Cameron, delivering his horse, laughing in spite of herself. “I forgot to mention, she’s a runner. She sneaks off.”

“That was no sneak. That was bold-faced.”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “You gotta love a woman with nerve.”

Vanni had known for a long time that her best friend Nikki was in a troubled relationship and that it wasn’t going to last. Cameron had barely departed, headed back for Grants Pass, when the phone rang and Nikki said. “It’s over.”

“Oh, honey,” Vanni commiserated. “Something major must have happened. Big fight?”

Through her tears, Nikki said, “It started out as the usual fight—me saying I needed a relationship with a future and him saying he wasn’t ready because of his short, terrible marriage years before we met. Then he dropped the big bomb. A couple of years ago, without telling me, without talking to me about it, he had a vasectomy.”

“What?” Vanni asked. “But how could he do that without you knowing?”

“I was gone on a couple of trips for a little over a week. He only needed a few days to recover completely. I never suspected.” She sniffed into the phone. “Craig was afraid I’d stop taking my birth control pills and try to sneak a baby out of him. He said he was sorry, but he didn’t want a family and was tired of fighting about it.”

Vanni sank into the chair by the phone. “This is just…unbelievable.”

“He said that if what we have isn’t good enough—just like it is—then it would probably be better for both of us if I just made good on my threat. Vanni,” she said with a whimper. “When did he become that kind of man?”

Vanni grimaced. It was tempting to say he’d always been like that—selfish, insensitive, an egotistical bore who took a lot more than he gave. But Nikki’s heart was breaking so all she said was, “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. The creep.”

“My dad helped me move out—all my things are in my parents’ garage. I’m staying with them while I look for something to rent. I’m calling from the car. I don’t have to work for a few days. Can I come up?”

“Of course,” Vanni said. Nikki and Vanni had been best friends since they both started at the airline. They’d gotten each other through a dozen rotten boyfriends, but nothing like this. Nikki had been with Craig for five years.

Nikki had been Vanni’s maid of honor when she married Matt. Vanni would have been lost without Nikki to talk to, to lean on when Matt was deployed to Iraq. When he was killed, she spent hours on the phone with her best friend. Of course she would try to comfort Nikki now.

“I feel so stupid,” Nikki said. “Why’d I let myself fall in love with him?”

“Can we really help who we love?” Vanni asked with a sigh. “Just get up here. We’ll eat fattening food, play with the baby, tease Tom, ride the horses and stick pins in a Craig doll. Nikki, you know it’s time to move on—he wasn’t good enough for you. And what he did—that was so deceptive, you could never count on him again.”

“Vanni, what’s wrong with us?” Nikki asked. “Why are we stuck loving men who don’t love us?”

With a shock of clarity, Vanni gulped. Why indeed, she asked herself. And then we feel so stupid, like such failures. It was wrong, all wrong. “We’re going to work on that, my friend. Both of us.”