Discover Your Destiny with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: The 7 Stages of Self-Awakening

“There will be a quantum leap in the numbers of people who will be willing to heal their shadow sides and never do anything to hurt or limit another person. There will be a quantum leap in the numbers of people who will refuse to live a life that is less than noble, good and fearless. There will be a quantum leap in the numbers of people who will assume genuine leadership over their lives. There will be a quantum leap in the number of people who will become seekers, just like you, Dar, searching for happiness, inner peace and a life of deep meaning. There is a huge evolutionary shift occurring for humankind. The whole species is changing. We are refusing to accept anything less than personal greatness,” he added enthusiastically.

“What do you mean by an ‘evolutionary shift’?”

“Thanks for asking. There are no silly questions in this important conversation, you know. Most of our evolution, as human beings, to date has been marked by a focus on the physical, on the external. It has, until now, all been about accumulation and hoarding. The dominant value has been ‘he who has the most wins’—he who has the most fame, he who has the biggest fortune, he who wields the most power over others. And given this value, ‘survival of the fittest’ has become the name of the game. It’s all about competition because we have come to believe that there is not enough for everyone to win. But this philosophy no longer serves us as a race. It is one born of scarcity. And behind this thought of scarcity is outright fear. Since our intentions and what we think create what we see in our outer world, all we see is lack—there’s never enough for us. And so the cycle begins, we never feel as if we have enough and we are never happy.”

“Fascinating. I’ve never heard anything like this,” I remarked, sitting down on a chair in the dressing room. The stranger remained standing with his hands folded behind him.

“Now here’s what I mean by the ‘evolutionary shift’: many human beings on the planet are taking their focus away from the single-minded concern over the physical and paying far more attention to the spiritual. We are moving from independence, where it’s all about ‘me, me, me’ to an appreciation for the paramount importance of ‘interdependence.’ Many of us have become conscious of the fact that we are all part of the same family. The most evolved among us in the world today, the authentic leaders—and by leaders I do not necessarily mean CEOs, presidents and military generals, but all women and men who have refused to follow the crowd—have realized that, at the deepest level, we are all connected. They know that when you hurt another, you are really hurting yourself. They know that when you help another, you are really helping yourself. Even frontier science is now showing this, confirming empirically what the mystics have been saying for thousands of years. Quantum physicists have discovered that the universe is a stunningly interconnected system where everything is in relationship with—and affected by—everything else. The English poet John Donne was speaking truth when he wrote: “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main… any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

“This is very interesting,” I replied, truly engaged in this new information I was hearing.

“So many of us have shifted our focus from a quest for the external to a voyage into the internal. For many, the human journey has become an inner journey. We have realized that the gateway to lasting success does not swing outward, it opens inward. The greatest treasures are the treasures that lie within. We, as a species, are now beginning to think far more about the needs of our souls and devoting more time to activities like personal growth, being more loving and compassionate and leaving a legacy. Success is important but significance is even better. Just look at the books on the bestseller lists around the world—so many of them are about the quest for self-knowledge and personal freedom. People all over the planet, in masses, are asking the big questions of life, such as ‘why am I here?’ and ‘what is my destiny?’ And, as I say, the more people change, the more the whole world will change. It’s a very beautiful process that’s taking place. And it really is an exquisite time to be alive.”

“That’s very inspiring,” I noted, relaxing even more and fully absorbing what I was hearing. I unfolded my arms.

“Now don’t get me wrong,” said the monk. “There’s nothing wrong with making money, having nice things and living a physically beautiful life. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and life can be made better through enjoying the wonderful things human beings have created. Money makes life easier and affords a great deal of freedom. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably suffering from the Ostrich Syndrome.”

“What’s that?”

“Too many people avoid dealing with the truth. It’s easier to stick your head in the sand like an ostrich than confront your resistances to the truth. And the truth of the matter is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making money and having beautiful things. Who came up with the silly notion that you cannot have nice things and, at the same time, be spiritual, good and evolved anyway? Have a lovely home. Drive a fine car. Travel to exotic places. Wear beautiful clothes. I’m not suggesting that you do not experience and enjoy such worldly pleasures. Ultimately, these were created by the same hidden force that created the streams, the mountains and the trees. But remember that beauty is only skin deep. These things must not be your driving force. Do not base your identity and your self-worth on them. Know that they will not last. It’s more a matter of priorities—do not make the accumulation of such external things your primary priority. We come into the world with nothing and we leave with nothing. I’ve never seen a U-haul following a hearse on the way to a cemetery. That’s the key thing to remember. Have your beautiful things but do not be imprisoned by them. Own them but do not let them own you. Give the main aim of your life over to far more important pursuits such as discovery of your highest potential, giving of yourself to others and making a difference by living for something more important than yourself. Success is fine but significance is the real name of the game,” he re-emphasized.

All of this man’s wisdom was exactly what I needed to hear at this juncture of my life. Perhaps I really was the student and perhaps I had finally arrived at a place where I was ready to learn, and now the teacher appeared. Maybe nothing I had experienced in my life up to this point was a waste. Maybe it was all meant to be—all preparation to get me to this point of readiness. Evan, my human resources manager—a very spiritual man—frequently used the phrase “all is well in the universe” whenever something did not go as planned. No matter what unfolded for him at work and in life he’d say that it was “all good,” even when it was painful. I was getting the sense that he was speaking truthfully. Perhaps there really were no accidents and the intricacies of our lives all happened according to a subtle yet perfect intelligence that, try as we might, we could not understand.

“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but who are you?” I asked, mustering up my courage and hoping not to offend, in any way, this peculiar yet unforgettable man who was sharing his profound wisdom with me.

“My name is Julian Mantle and I have come to serve as your guide. I’m here to help you discover your destiny,” came the simple reply.

He then reached into a wide silk pocket that had been sewn into his robe and pulled out a banana. Can you believe that? A banana! He peeled it and began munching away on it contentedly.

“Want one?” he asked graciously. “I have another in my knapsack,” he said, pointing to a tattered canvas bag in the corner. “Bananas are excellent fuel for the body. The body must be nourished with only the best foods if you want it to perform at its highest level.”

I hardly heard what he said—my mind started racing. Julian Mantle! Unbelievable! I knew who Julian Mantle was. Everyone I knew recognized the name of Julian Mantle. I could not contain my excitement.

“Julian Mantle! The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari? Are you serious?” The whole scene felt surreal: the monk in front of me, the wise words he had offered, the chomping of the banana. It was as though I was having an out-of-body experience, watching the whole thing unfold from above. Yesterday I had a gun to my head, ready to take my life. Only one day later, I’m hanging out backstage after a motivational seminar with an eccentric monk who is telling me about the value of banana-eating and sharing his thoughts on the spiritual transformation that is occurring across the planet. Simply unbelievable.

I had heard about Julian on a regular basis since I was young. My father was a litigation lawyer who worked with one of the largest firms in the city and he would constantly entertain me with stories of “the great Julian Mantle.” Julian was one of the nation’s best trial lawyers and a man who was known far and wide not only for his abundant legal gifts but also for his high-flying, jet-set lifestyle. Julian Mantle was a superstar in the truest sense of the word. He had everything a human being could want. But he threw it all away.

Julian had graduated from Harvard Law School and was destined for a life of success. He was a “golden boy” and seemed unstoppable as he attracted the biggest cases, the best clients and scored win upon win. Along the way, he made more money than my father ever imagined a lawyer making and gained more publicity in one month than most lawyers generated over their entire careers. Dad said he dated the most beautiful women in the city, mostly fashion models, and was loved by all for his larger-than-life persona and roguish charm. When I was younger, my dad would drive me through the most posh area of the city and point out Julian’s sprawling mansion, which sat only a few doors down from the home of one of the world’s most famous rock stars. Julian appeared to live fully and to have it all. He even had a bright red Ferrari that he used to park in the center of his driveway. I still remember how much I loved looking at that car as a boy. I would have given anything for a ride in it. Dad said it was Julian’s most loved possession.

And then something happened to Julian Mantle, according to my dad. He began to unravel. He gained weight and started to smoke too much. He began taking too many chances and lost too many cases. I wasn’t really sure what caused this undoing but it was the most striking fall from grace that any one of us had ever seen. I guess the higher you go, the harder you fall. And then one day, in the middle of a packed courtroom amidst a particularly high-profile trial, Julian collapsed, apparently of a heart attack. My dad told me that that was the defining moment of Julian Mantle’s life—the turning point. How we show up when we meet the turning points of our lives has a big influence on how our lives ultimately unfold, I have learned. What Julian did next altered the course of his life forever.

After months of recuperation, Julian resigned from the practice of law and left the country. He sold his mansion. Sold his possessions. He even sold his prized Ferrari as he departed for India, that exotic land of a million adventures and timeless wisdom. My guess is that he was looking for some answers and that India seemed to offer him some promise of finding them. No one heard from Julian for a long, long time. Many thought he was dead.

A number of months ago I read a front-page article entitled “Julian Mantle: The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. One Man’s Crusade to Improve the World.” The article revealed that Julian Mantle had undergone a remarkable transformation while he was in India. High in the Himalayas, he had discovered a little-known group of monks. They had shared with him an ancient and profound philosophy for personal transformation and living one’s greatest life. Through the extraordinary wisdom he learned, Julian experienced massive—and wonderful—changes in his own life. Physically, he recreated himself so that he looked many years younger than his actual age, exuding a vitality that was truly exceptional. Intellectually, he accessed the most universal truths upon which a rich and meaningful life is built and integrated them into the way he viewed the world, finding inner peace in the process. Emotionally, he became aware of many of the wounds that he had suffered during his childhood, wounds that were still running his life as an adult and blocking him from experiencing the joys that each one of us deserves to experience on a daily basis. This then allowed him to clear much of the anger he had been carrying with him through life, affecting him physically and psychically. He was able to heal the hurts of the past. Spiritually, he accessed his deepest values and reconnected with his highest self. Julian took off the social mask he had been wearing his whole life and became authentic, now living his life on his own terms, congruent with his highest values and according to the dictates of his heart. He stopped living to please others and stopped caring about looking good in the world. He refused to follow the crowd and betray himself, in any way. All he cared about now was being real and doing good. “Julian Mantle has discovered his destiny and this has made him a very happy man,” I recalled the account stating.

The article also said that Julian had made it his central mission to come back to the West and help as many other people as he could to live their best lives and access the fullness of their potential. The story explained how Julian had been popping up, in his red robes, at different places and helping some of his old friends, family members and strangers reclaim their personal greatness and live far happier, healthier and fulfilling lives. The reporter wrote that Julian’s work was creating an enormous buzz and that many people across the country were starting to put together expeditions to seek him out. Julian had become a folk hero of sorts and a mystique had begun to arise around him. But Julian was remarkably elusive: no person who had actively searched for Julian had been able to find him. Julian had not been interviewed in the story, but many had started calling him “The Reluctant Guru.” The tale of Julian’s life would have made for a fabulous movie in this age when so many of us are so spiritually starved.

“Are you really Julian Mantle?” I asked, still not quite believing. “Why did you come looking for me? My dad used to tell me about you. He was one of your colleagues, you know.”

“I know exactly who your father is,” came the gentle reply. “He was a friend of mine, and I value my friendships enormously. Your dad told me a lot about you, and I heard about what happened to your family life recently. I’ve come to be of service. Servant leaders are the most powerful of all, you know.”

“Never knew that,” I responded.

“Things are never as bad as they seem. The situations that cause us sorrow are the same ones that introduce us to the strength, power and wisdom that we truly are.”

He continued. “I know things have been extremely difficult for you, Dar. I am very sensitive to what you are going through and I would never minimize your feelings. Feelings are the doorways into your soul and they must be acknowledged and then felt to completion. Feelings carry important information and serve to foster your self-relationship if explored fully. To deny them is to deny a natural part of you. To pretend you are not feeling what you are feeling would be a very unhealthy thing to do, both psychologically and physiologically. Swallowing your feelings leads to disease. But there is a much bigger picture at play, one that you cannot comprehend with your current perception. Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are. As you change, the way you see the world changes. As your awareness expands, you will become aware of things you previously could neither see nor understand. All is good here. All that has unfolded for you is leading you to a fantastic place. As human beings, our tendency is to tell life to listen to what we want. But life doesn’t work that way. It gives us what we need, what is best for us—what is in our highest interests. Your life will work much better once you begin to listen to life. Let it lead you rather than trying to push the river. And trust that where life carries you is exactly where you are meant to be. Let go of all your resistance and move into a posture of surrendering to whatever is unfolding. Doing so is one of the ways you will ensure that you will walk the path of your destiny, your true path.”

“I read a story about you in the paper a little while ago,” I said. “It’s incredible what you’re doing to help make the world a better place.”

“Yes, I read that article,” Julian replied with a grin. “I actually have it with me somewhere. I am an idealist and it makes me feel so happy when I read that piece because I am reminded that I am making a difference. I measure my life not by decades but by deeds. I’ve learned that lasting happiness comes by giving, not getting. The Chinese say it so well: ‘A little fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses.’ And yet we all too often forget that. In business, for example, we fail to act in win-win ways. We buy into the false assumption that someone has to lose for us to win. We guard our territories and refuse to operate from a frame of reference that sees the value in helping all those around us succeed. There’s no truth in that. As a matter of fact, the best way to lead the field in business is to devote yourself to adding more value to your clients and customers than they have any right to expect. The true leaders in business understand who puts food on their tables and, therefore, treat their customers like royalty. They serve, cherish and love their customers. Love is an incredibly powerful business tool, you know?”

“I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“Well, it’s true, my friend. And before anyone will lend you a hand, you must touch their heart. Be like the sun: the sun gives all it can give. But in return, all of the flowers, the trees and the plants grow towards it. In your business life alone, by dedicating yourself to delighting and loving your clients, you will create an army of goodwill ambassadors who will run out into the world and tell everyone they know about what you do and who you are. Even when it comes to your so-called competition, try to do whatever you can to help them. Forge alliances with them. Develop friendships with them. Business is all about relationships. Help them get what they want and the ancient law of reciprocity will kick in—they’ll begin to help you get what you want. Giving begins the receiving process.”

“Very nice point,” I agreed, sensing the power of this man’s words.

“So, as I say, the bit about the difference I’m making in that article makes me feel good about myself since it reminds me I’m blessing lives, in my own small way. But I don’t take all the recognition I’m getting too seriously. No one takes you seriously when you take yourself too seriously, you know.”

I smiled on hearing that line. This guy was good.

“I can’t believe they’re calling me a sage,” he continued, lifting a speck of banana off his pristine robe. “What do I know about that kind of thing? I’m just an ordinary man who has, with the help of some very powerful teachers, discovered a philosophy that will lead anyone who chooses to adopt it to a beautiful life. Every human being needs to carve out the time to articulate a philosophy for his or her life—it’s one of the most important things a person can do. Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. We all need to have a statement on a piece of paper that we can revisit every morning while the rest of the world is asleep that will serve as a moral compass to direct the choices of our day. This will serve as an anchor to lock us into our best moves. Without such a statement of philosophy, you will live your life by accident, reacting to whatever pops up within your days. Living like that is a recipe for disaster—you’re just begging for trouble when you live like that. Makes me think of a saying: ‘If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.’”

“So I need to take some time to think about what I want my life to stand for?”

“Absolutely, Dar. This is one of the musts of life. Successful and fulfilled people make the time to think, plan and reflect. They are awake to their lives because they know that each day is an incredibly precious gift. If you don’t believe that, walk into a hospital on the way home and talk to someone in the cancer ward. Ask them what they would give for an extra day of life.”

What Julian said shot through me. I had taken so much of life for granted. I had never viewed each day above ground as a gift and an opportunity to create something great or make a difference.

“Most people spend more time planning their summer vacations than they do planning their lives. What a shame. Be thoughtful about your life. Ask yourself: ‘How am I meant to live?’ Question what you are meant to do, what things you will no longer tolerate in your life and what standards of excellence you will hold yourself to, on a go-forward basis. Living life without a devotion to excellence dishonors the priceless gifts and talents that have been given to you.”

Julian continued, taking a few steps as he spoke and raising his hands into the air for effect. “Without a philosophy that reflects your truth in terms of how you want to live and what you aim to be, how can you make choices that are right for you? Without a philosophy, you will live your life according to other people’s wishes. You’ll be like those lemmings, following the crowd as they walk off the cliff to their deaths. Without a philosophy, you just might find yourself on your deathbed and wonder‘what if my whole life was a lie?’”

“That explains the writing on the card. The line about ‘Stop living your life as a lie.’ I assume you were the one who left that for me, Julian?”

“Of course. What fun is life without a hint of mystery? What joy is life without a little adventure? I was trying to inject some wonder into your life. This path you are interested in walking is not for the faint of heart, my friend. It requires great courage. You must confront your fears and then move through them. It will not be easy but it will lead you to the place that the deepest part of you is hungering to know. Anyway, as I was saying before, I can’t believe people are calling me a guru. I’m just a student of life who has some pretty powerful insights to share. Think of me more as a guide. I drop into people’s lives to guide them in the right direction. I look for people who have a willingness to make some big changes in their lives because they know, deep within, that there is so much more to life than what they are currently experiencing. Makes me think of what Rumi once said: ‘Whoever enters The Way without a guide will take a hundred years to travel a two-day journey.’”

I chuckled, appreciating the depth of wisdom being shared. This must have been Julian Mantle. Who else could share what he was sharing? I relaxed even more, releasing the last bit of uncertainty about this unusual man’s identity.

“Maybe a better way to look at what I do is to consider me a life coach. I coach people on becoming their highest selves and help them play their biggest games as human beings. I help people discover their destiny and live their dreams. It’s hard to believe that we live in a world where most people are more concerned with following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing than living their dreams. I’ll tell you something I pray you never will forget: One of the greatest regrets a person can ever have is getting to the end of their lives and realizing they did not do their dreams. Getting to the end or even the middle of your life and waking up one day to the understanding that you did not dare, that you did not reach for the stars, that you did not realize even one-tenth of your potential will break your heart. Trust me on this one—I see it all the time. At the end of our lives, what fills our hearts with regret are not all the risks we took. Instead, what causes us to feel immense sadness is thinking about all the risks we didn’t take, all the opportunities we did not seize, all the things we did not do. Do not live your life as a timid soul, my friend. Get into the arena, forget about the critics and play big with the gifts of your days. Life is short and the years will slip away very quickly, like grains of sand passing through your fingers on a hot day at the beach. You were meant to shine and let your talents see the light of day. There is but one failure in life and that is the failure to try. The greatest failure in life is the unwillingness to play your highest game and walk towards the places that frighten you.”

“I agree, Julian. I completely agree. I regret so much of the way I’ve lived up until now.”

“Be gentle with yourself. We grow from our mistakes. What’s that expression—good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from making mistakes and mistakes come from bad judgment. I’d rather be willing to experiment with life and make a few mistakes than forego growth by refusing to step out of the confines of my comfort zone. So you made some mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on. The past is a grave and it makes no sense to spend your life living in a grave. Every ending represents a new beginning. Or to put it another way, you cannot move forward in life if you’re stuck looking in the rearview mirror. As Cicero noted: ‘The souls of wise people look to the future state of their existence; all of their thoughts are concentrated towards eternity.’ The key is to learn from your mistakes and build a foundation of wisdom. Blend self-responsibility with self-forgiveness. The key is also to keep running towards rather than away from your fears because on the other side of your greatest fears lives your greatest life. If you do not keep running towards your fear wall, you will never—ever—discover personal freedom. Freedom lives on the other side of your fears. How often do you think most people are frightened?”

“I have no idea,” I replied honestly. “Maybe once every few months.”

“If you do not feel some fear on a daily basis, you are living life within a safe harbor and clinging to the shore. Do you know the story of how Columbus came to the New World?” Julian asked warmly.