Hero At Large

In the beginning, Rennie had met with each woman individually, trying to work through the worst of their problems. Once their lives began to turn around, she brought them together, hoping the women could benefit from a support system of their peers.

The group had been meeting twice a week for a little over a month, and it had been working quite well. Much of the time, Rennie could guide the discussion and then allow the other women to offer guidance and support to whoever was having a problem at the moment. As an added bonus, the women were becoming real friends. Most days, this was a good thing.

But, on days like today, it could be a problem. Combine their chatty mood with the cozy living room setup, and trying to get any genuine feedback this late on a Friday was nearly impossible. Under normal circumstances, Rennie knew just how to keep the women on track, but right now even she was having trouble focusing.

No matter where her thoughts traveled, they always came fluttering back to Gray. She wanted to kick herself every time she remembered the disastrous conversation she’d had with him—

Rennie’s head jerked up as a pair of fingers snapped in front of her face. Sarita backed up and sank into her recliner. “Welcome back, Rennie. Did you have a good trip?”

Heat suffused her cheeks as Rennie realized she’d been caught daydreaming. She tried to play it off. “So, have you all decided what you’d like to discuss today?”

Moni nodded. “Yeah, I’d like to know what’s up with you. First of all, you never let us get away with chitchat for more than fifteen minutes. Today you let us talk for almost half an hour.”

“Plus,” Jackie added. “You’ve been staring off into space all day. What’s on your mind?”

“It’s got to be a man,” Carla said. “When a woman has problems, it’s always a man.” She was the only married member of the group, and ironically the only one who didn’t want to be.

Rennie shook her head. “This is not about me. We’re supposed to be talking about the issues that the four of you are dealing with.”

Sarita grinned. “Well, Miss Thang, thanks to you, all of us are doing just fine right now. Looks like you’re the one with a lot of junk on your mind. Are you too good to let us psychoanalyze you for a change?”

“Yeah.” Carla cheered, taking a long swig of her diet soda.

Rennie’s first instinct was to protest. It wasn’t her place to take up group time with her personal problems. But, as she looked at the expectant faces of the woman surrounding her, she began to think twice.

After some rocky months, they had all learned to open up to her and to each other. This was an environment of safety and trust that they’d created together. If Rennie chose to back off now, they might very well come to the conclusion that their trust had been misplaced.

“Okay, you win. It’s not a big deal, but I do have something on my mind that I have mixed feelings about.”

“Lay it on us, Rennie. We’re all getting pretty good at this psychology stuff,” Jackie said, sharing one section of her orange with Moni.

“All right. I ran into an old flame yesterday.”

“Where?” Sarita asked. “At the club last night?”

Rennie nodded. “He caught me off guard, because I hadn’t seen him since I moved to Texas to go to college several years ago.”

“I see,” Jackie said, putting on a dramatically serious face. “And what happened then?” The woman winked as if to say, “See, I can do this.”

“We talked for a few minutes, but the conversation went nowhere. To make a long story short, the last few years haven’t gone as well for him as they have for me.”

“I see,” Jackie said, tapping her chin with her index finger. “How did seeing him again make you feel?”

“How did it make me feel?” Rennie shook her head. There was no easy answer to that question. First, his soft, melting smile had thrilled her heart, then the hard shards of ice in his eyes had broken it. “Strange. I said all the wrong things, and he’s been on my mind ever since.”

“Has he been on your mind because you didn’t like what you said to him or because you still feel some attraction to him?”

Rennie adjusted the collar of her shirt. Suddenly, it felt a bit constricting. “Both.”

“So what do you think is going to make you feel better about this situation?” Jackie asked, turning Rennie’s favorite phrase around on her.

“Well, for one thing, I want to apologize to him for the way our last meeting went. He’s had some tough times, and I’m sure he thought I was judging him. We’d been close once, and I’d like the chance to be more supportive.”

“And the chance to see if there are any sparks left?” Moni asked with a hopeful grin.

“I don’t know. He may not be available anymore. There’s been so much time between us, and we’ve both changed so much. I’m not even sure we still have anything in common.”

“So, what I hear you saying is that you want to see him again, but you’re not sure if he’s still single. If he is, are you interested?”

Rennie squirmed in her seat. They were digging a little deeper than she was ready to go right now.

“Ha,” Carla shouted. “It’s not so easy in the hot seat, is it?”

Rennie laughed. “I must say, you guys are pretty good at this. I guess I should be flattered that you all were actually paying attention in our sessions.”

Jackie looked at the clock. “We’re almost out of time, but that doesn’t mean you can wiggle out of the question. If your guy is available, would you be interested?”

Rennie shrugged. “I can’t answer that right now.”

“Okay, then what are your next steps?” Jackie had really gotten into her role. The words seemed to fall naturally from her lips.

“Find him and apologize, then I’ll see exactly what’s what.”

“Perfect,” Sarita said. “We’ll follow up next week.”

“No, next week I want to hear from every one of you. I let you off the hook this time, but next session we’re getting back to business.”

That afternoon, Gray got into his car and started driving. Before he realized where he was going, he found himself in front of the old building where Rennie worked.

Should he go inside? Her counseling sessions were for women only. No doubt he’d look conspicuous if he walked in. On the other hand, he probably didn’t look any less conspicuous hovering around outside.

Before Gray could make a decision one way or the other, the matter was taken out of his hands. Rennie walked out of the front door. When she saw him standing there, she paused on the steps as if she’d seen a ghost.

Then she was moving again, her pace faster as she strode purposefully toward him. “Hi.” Her voice was breathy when she finally stopped before him.

“Hi, Rennie. Before you ask me what I’m doing here, let me start off by telling you right up front that I don’t know. I got in my car and the next thing I knew I was here.”

She nodded, staring at her feet before finally lifting her gaze to meet his. “This is so strange. Lately, it seems all I have to do is think about you, and you appear.”

He released the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Gray didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but their reunion last night had seemed…well, bittersweet. In the bright light of day, or rather the dimming light of evening, she could have easily turned him away.

This was the last place he should be. Looking up an old flame had nothing to do with the job he’d come back to do. In fact, it could only get in the way.

“You’ve been on my mind, too. I didn’t like the way we left things.”

She bit her lip. “Um, is there somewhere we can go to talk? To catch up? I think I gave you the wrong impression last night…about your past. I’m not judging you—”

“Where do you want to go?” What was he doing? It wasn’t too late to walk away.