But her words trailed off when he shifted toward her on the couch. He put his fingers beneath her chin. “Hey, look at me.”
That was the last thing she wanted to do, but she forced her focus upward. She’d done the crime, now it was time to pay the price for it. But when she tilted her face to him, she didn’t see any censure or judgment in his.
“You must think—” she started again, but he hushed her with a shake of the head.
“I already knew,” he admitted. “So I’m as much to blame as you are.”
“What?” She blinked, her thoughts scattering like frantic mice. Maybe she was hearing things. “But—”
“I saw your curtains move and a flash one night when I had friends over. The moonlight must’ve glinted off the lens of your binoculars.”
“Oh my God.” She put her hands to her face, officially mortified. “Why didn’t you shut your curtains?”
He chuckled and reached for her wrists, easing her arms down to her lap. “I’m guessing you can probably figure out the answer to that yourself.”
She swallowed hard, the realization staring her in the face. “You liked me watching.”
His dimpled smile was downright devious. “Hello, Ms. Voyeur, meet Mr. Exhibitionist.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “God, that makes me sound like such a pervert.”
He released her wrists and leaned back against the arm of the couch again. “Come on, now. You’ve watched me long enough to know I could beat you on the pervert scale a few thousand times over. No need to feel any shame about it. You wanted to watch. I let you—and enjoyed it.”
She couldn’t process this. All the times she’d watched him flipped through her mind like a dirty movie on fast-forward and repeat. All those nights, he’d known she was there. Then another thought hit her. “So last night …”
“Last night was probably out of line,” he admitted. “All the other times, I knew you were watching, but I didn’t change my behavior because of it. Last night, I did.”
Her heart was moving too fast again, but for a different reason than panic. “Why?”
He considered her for a moment, then released a breath. “Because I was selfish. I needed to know if you watched my window because you just enjoy seeing other people be intimate and do kinky things or if you watched because of me.”
Oh, hell. She bit the inside of her lip.
“Because some people like watching no matter who it is. And that’s cool. I can get into that sometimes, too. But if that’s all it was, I wanted to know so that I didn’t go traipsing where I’m not wanted.”
Her brows met. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve seen what kind of lifestyle I live, how I am with lovers?”
“Yes,” she said, almost too low for her own ears to register the sound.
“And what do you know about me, Georgia?”
She wet her lips. “You’re bisexual.”
“I am.”
“And you like threesomes.”
Amusement lit his eyes. “True, what’s not to like?”
“And you’re a dominant and a sadist.”
His mouth lifted at the corner. “Yes. You know the language. I have to admit that surprises me a little. Google?”
“I look that innocent?” she asked, deadpan. “I think I’m insulted.”
Okay, so it was totally Google. But no way she was admitting that.
He laughed, the sound coming from deep in that wide chest of his. “I’m not trying to tease you.”
“Uh-huh.”
He took her hand again, his expression going more serious. “I’m only trying to figure you out—and need to make sure you know exactly who I am because that list of things would probably scare off ninety percent of the population. And if you watch me simply because I’m so out there that you find it interesting, that’s fine. If we kissed because there’s attraction but you’re not really into the other stuff, I’ll understand. Tell me that and nothing has to change. You can continue to watch and I’ll let you.” His thumb traced the delicate bones of her wrist, the heat of his touch burning through her. “But if you watch because you think you might crave some of those same things, if you find yourself wondering what it’d be like to be there with me instead of behind the glass, then tell me that, too. Because, Georgia, all you have to do is ask and next time I won’t stop unless you tell me to.”
Everything in her sparked like live wires hitting water—Colby’s words overriding any residual effect from the small dose of anxiety medicine or a beer could provide. Just ask. She’d imagined that proposition so many times in the quiet of her guest room. Yes, the things he did were out there. Some of them scared her, in theory, but she knew real fear and she’d never felt that when thinking of Colby. She didn’t feel it now. And the thought of experiencing that even once with him, having his hands on her, that big body pressing against her …
She leaned back, needing some breathing space and some solid ground. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say what’s on your mind. There are no wrong answers here.”
She sighed and looked up at him. “I’m not going to sit here and lie that I haven’t thought about what it’d be like with you … like that, submissive. I can’t stop watching … and thinking. But it’s scary. The thought of putting myself out there like that.”
He watched her intently, as if considering every one of her words, then nodded. “Well, know there’s no pressure here. You don’t have to answer now or ever. But I’m telling you all this because I’m not one to bullshit or play games. I like you. I want you. But I also am the way I am, and that’s not for everyone.”
No lies or games—what a novel concept. Most days she felt her whole life was balancing on intricately weaved, wispy-thin threads of deceit. Something free of all that was so goddamned tempting. Colby was so damn tempting. But this was anything but simple. This was no longer some fantasy scenario she was watching from a safe distance. It would be her tied to that big bed of his.
She rubbed her lips together and peered over at him. “I don’t know if I’m capable of being submissive.”
“You say that.” The shadow of his dimple appeared. “But you like watching me and imagining you’re there with me? In those scenarios, do you picture being in charge of me?”
She held his gaze for a long while, but the truth sat full on her lips. “No. I can’t really imagine you like that. It doesn’t make sense.”
“And when you think of being on your knees for me, does that make sense?”
She swallowed past the dryness in her throat. “Sometimes. In the fantasy world.”
“That fantasy world is where a lot of truth hides. We could test what’s true for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Here, let’s try something.” He settled back against the arm of the couch. “Turn around.”
“Why?”
He cocked an eyebrow.
With a huff, she complied. “You use that eyebrow thing on your students?”