Forever Starts Tonight

He tensed and turned to find Martine giving him an abashed smile.

“I mean, I know it’s been a long time, but I still think about it sometimes. What our wedding would’ve looked like. What our life would’ve been like.”

He took a deep breath. This conversation was making him more than a little uncomfortable, but he had to remember that he was the one who’d screwed this woman over. She hadn’t done anything wrong. It really had been a case of “it’s not you, it’s me.” And waiting until a few weeks before the wedding to figure that out had been a dick move. “It would’ve been a mistake, Marti. I’m sorry for how long it took me to figure that out, but we wouldn’t have worked.”

She let her gaze follow the bride and groom’s progress instead of looking at him. “You don’t know that. Yes, if you’d really been gay, it wouldn’t have worked. But”—she nodded toward Evan, who was vigorously snapping away with her camera, her back to them—“clearly you’re not opposed to women.”

He wasn’t going to stand there and talk about kink and his preferences and why the bisexual thing would’ve been the least of their incompatibilities. It wasn’t the appropriate place, and it wasn’t Martine’s business. “Are we really going to do this right now?”

She pursed her lips, and he was reminded of how pretty she was. When he’d first asked her out in college, he’d been shocked that she’d said yes. She’d seemed out of his league. And as it turned out, she was, but not in the way he’d thought.

She huffed. “Andre, you can’t tell me that being in some strange three-way relationship is what you want. Was all that talk we had about having kids and raising a big family just blowing smoke? I thought you wanted to be that dad who’s the little league baseball coach and who buys a big house with land so there’s room for kids to play.”

He frowned and adjusted the camera bag again. Those plans he’d had back then seemed dusty and distant now. He’d grown up in a strict but loving household, one of four kids, extended family nearby. He’d always loved having that network of people around, and had once upon a time thought he’d recreate it with someone like Martine. But he hadn’t known who he really was back then. That traditional life had no place for him.

He crossed his arms, feeling colder than he had a few minutes before. “Things change. We grow up. What you think will make you happy and what actually does are often two different things.”

“And are you happy?” she asked, not pulling any punches. “Even though you don’t have those things you thought you wanted?”

His gaze moved back to Evan, and now she was looking his way, a questioning expression on her face. He could tell it wasn’t anger but more an offer to come over to help extract him from the conversation. He smiled and lifted a hand to her as if to telepath, It’s all right, bella, I’ve got this.

He turned back to Martine. “I’m very happy.”

No, he didn’t have that big family or a house with land. He had a condo in the city, a job that challenged him, and two lovers who he’d move the earth for and who’d do the same for him. He didn’t need anything more than that.

Martine sighed, and the smile that she offered him was genuine, but her eyes held sadness. “I’m happy for you then. Truly.”

“Thank you,” he said, feeling like a jerk again. “And you seem to be doing great, too.”

She gave a little laugh. “Oh, am I giving off that impression? Well, that’s good. Glad I’m pulling it off.”

“Is it wrong?”

She waved a dismissive hand and took a sip of the champagne she held. “Lord, look at me, this is why I shouldn’t drink at weddings. I get all maudlin. No, I’m fine. I have a great job. My family is doing well. I just bought a house in Southlake. I have nothing to complain about.”

But she didn’t have someone. That’s what wasn’t being said. “I’m glad you’re doing well.”

She smirked. “Yep, fantastic. But hey, maybe we could have lunch sometime or something. Catch up. I haven’t seen your sister or the rest of your family in ages. I’d like to hear how everyone’s doing.”

He rubbed his lips together and glanced at Evan again. He was so ready to get out of here.

“Come on, I’m sure your girlfriend knows I’m not a threat,” she teased and set her drink down on a nearby table to dig in her purse. She handed him a business card. “What’s grabbing a sandwich with an old friend?”

He took the card. “Thanks, but I work weird hours, so lunch isn’t always doable.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a detective with the Dallas PD.”

Her eyebrows lifted, impressed. “So the bad boy now catches the bad guys?”

He sniffed. “Something like that.”

“Well, I’m sure we can find a time at some point to connect.” She stepped into his space, and before he realized what she was doing, she planted a kiss on his cheek. “See you soon, Andre.”

Not if he had anything to do with it. He didn’t hold any bad feelings toward Martine, but he also knew the woman was a determined one. And he got the feeling her idea of “old friends reconnecting” was very different from his.

A few minutes after Martine strolled away to talk to a group of older ladies, Evan sidled up next to him. He took the camera from her hands and she rolled her neck. “So do I need to cut a bitch? Because my back hurts, the plate of hors d’oeuvres they gave me made me nauseous, and some va-va-voom woman is trying to hone in on my guy. I’m ready to scrap.”

Andre chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist. “No need for fighting. My virtue is safe from her.”

“What was she talking to you so intently about then?” Evan asked, her blue eyes more tired than normal.

He pushed her bangs to the side. His girl was working too much. “She was wondering how I could possibly be happy.”

Evan snorted. “Meaning without her?”

He rubbed his hand along Evan’s back, his own weariness settling in. “Yes and no. She knew a different version of me back then—one who wanted a big family and a house in the country. You know, all those dreams that change and shift as you figure out who you are.”

Her lips lifted at the corner. “Farmer Andre?”

He laughed. “Oh, hell, no. My sister got my dad’s veterinarian genes. Taking care of animals and crops and shit—way too much work. I just wanted the open space.”

“And the family?” she asked, her tone a little too nonchalant.

He smiled and bent to kiss her. He knew kids were a touchy topic for Evan. She’d had to place a baby for adoption when she was a teen, and it still haunted her a bit even though it had been the right decision for her at the time. “I have a family, bella. You and Jace are my family. My heart and my house are full. I don’t need anything else.”

She sighed and laid her cheek to his chest, but he couldn’t tell if it was a happy sigh or not. “Can we go home now?”

“Yeah, sure. You okay?” he asked, running a hand over her head.

“Not sure. That food really messed with my stomach. Remind me to never eat sushi in a landlocked state.”

“Words to live by.” He let her go and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s get you home and into bed.”

She gave him a wan smile. “Always trying to get me into bed.”

“You know it.” But the humor in his voice didn’t match the concern that filled him when she turned and one of the ballroom lights illuminated her face. Evan always had a fair complexion, but she looked particularly pale tonight, the spots beneath her eyes taking on a bruised tone. Bad sushi or not, one thing was clear: she was worn the fuck out. He and Jace were supposed to take care of her, and they obviously hadn’t been doing their job.

Even though they were both dominant and liked to control things, they tried not to interfere with Evan’s schedule. Her work was her passion. But she also could go overboard and work herself to death, which was completely unnecessary. She’d grown up in a situation where every penny made was precious, but that wasn’t her life anymore. They didn’t need the money. She didn’t need to run herself down.

Andre tucked all of the lenses back into the right bags and helped Evan collect her tripod and the rest of her equipment, then led her out to the car. By the time they got home, she was sound asleep in the passenger seat. He took a moment to watch her—dark lashes over pale cheeks, the rise and fall of her breath, the way her lips curved into an almost smile when she rested. His bella, quietly beautiful in a way that Martine could never hold a candle to. This girl filled him up.

He lifted her out of the car and carried her upstairs, passing Jace, who’d apparently fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for them. Andre smiled.

No, he didn’t have what he’d thought he wanted.

But he definitely had what he needed. And if he sometimes got pangs for things he used to want, that was okay, too. He’d make those sacrifices a thousand times over to be with these two people. No one could have it all. And he had more than he deserved.