“Not a problem,” Grant said, making a note on a pad on his desk. “I’ll talk to Colby later and see if he’s interested.”
She wet her lips. Colby was a friend and a good guy. She’d assisted him in more than one training class, but the thought of submitting to him left her feeling hollow inside. However, the sooner she could get this done, the sooner she could put some real money in her pocket and get the hell out of town. “Thank you, Grant.”
He gave a quick nod, though he looked more resigned than pleased. “Anytime, Kelsey. But please make sure you’re truly ready to do this and that this is the job you want. I think you have potential to be a terrific trainer, but unless you feel a passion for that role, the position will drain you dry. A nice paycheck won’t fill in the gaps.”
She glanced away, her body feeling heavier in the chair than it had a moment before. The Ranch had been her saving grace after she’d recovered from the attack. It had provided her a job, structure, and a group of friends who had treated her like family. She loved the strange, alternative world that existed behind its gates. But despite the good people, the posh resort, and the luxury of the surroundings, she never felt more excited than when she was crammed in that tiny, hot kitchen at the Sugarcane concocting a new recipe and chatting with her customers. That was what put the froth in her coffee each morning. That and serving her favorite patron …
But that dream was going to have to be put on hold for a while. Culinary school would have to wait. Her life would have to wait.
Again.
Perhaps payment for former sins was never really done.
But at the very least, maybe she could put a vicious ghost to rest.
FIVE (#u8ef9626e-5fb1-53b2-bbc2-406b940a008a)
Wyatt leaned back in the seat of his brother’s car, plucked off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes, a blinding headache booming behind his lids. “Half of me is hoping you’re fucking with me about this and that you’re going to say ‘just kidding’ when we pull up.”
Jace glanced over at him, wryness tugging at the side of his mouth. “Sorry, brother. ’Fraid not. But if you’re going to give Kelsey shit about this, I’ll turn around right now. Just because she’s not as innocent and vanilla as you thought she was shouldn’t make a difference.”
“It’s not that,” Wyatt said with a tired sigh. “It just makes the favor I was going to ask her for a little more complicated.”
“Why is that?” Jace asked, merging into the other lane and throwing a what-the-fuck glare at the interminably slow driver they were passing.
Because it made her even more enticing. Because the idea that the sweet waitress had a down and dirty side made his cock ache. Because the thought of her submitting to his will had old desires burning holes through a wall he’d erected a long time ago. “Because I don’t … do this.”
“You used to,” Jace said pointedly.
“Don’t start.”
“No, I will fucking say what needs to be said, Wy,” Jace said, irritation cutting through his normally laidback manner. “You think you can turn that shit off? That you can simply pack it away in a neat little box and pretend that isn’t part of you? You may be able to convince yourself of that, but I saw you in action in college. Don’t forget who brought me to my first play party.”
“I didn’t bring you. You followed me.”
“And thank God I did because I might never have figured out what all the stuff I was feeling meant.”
Wyatt shook his head and adjusted his glasses back in place. Jace was the one and only person in his life who knew Wyatt had been in a D/s relationship when he was in graduate school. But his brother also knew what had happened and should know better than to push him on this. “I’m glad you found your thing. But I have no interest in traveling down that road again.”
“Right. Because I’m sure you find that scheduled Saturday night fuck very fulfilling,” Jace said, throwing him a look. “Pick up dry cleaning, shop for groceries, screw fuck buddy of the month.”
Wyatt scowled. “It’s not like that.”
“I bet you even put it on your calendar,” Jace said, on a roll now. “Do you draw in a little heart there? Or maybe a happy face?”
Wyatt grunted, but had to wrestle back a smile on that one.
“Holy shit!” Jace said, his expression lighting like a dog who’d stumbled upon a favorite bone. “You do put a smiley face, don’t you? You sick fucker.”
He shrugged. “I may put a star.”
Jace laughed hard at that, his eyes watering with the effort.
“And for the record, the woman I was … spending time with is not in the picture anymore. So no more Saturday night appointments.” And really, Wyatt hadn’t felt any regret over that. Their get togethers truly had become about as interesting as picking up his dry cleaning. He got more out of one morning at the diner with Kelsey than a slew of Saturday nights with Gwen.
“Fantastic. You’re unattached and in lust with one of my favorite women. Perfect time to live a little and have some fun.”
Wyatt stared out the window, watching the dark of night creeping over the fields. “No, it’s not. Even if I wanted to try this world again, Kelsey deserves better than what I can offer. You know I’m not cut out to do all that relationship stuff. My life doesn’t have room for that. I’ll end up hurting her.”
Jace smirked as he pulled off the road and took a left onto a half-hidden driveway. “And what makes you think she’s looking for a relationship, genius? You’re getting all noble and shit, but why would you assume all women are pining away for roses and a ring? Kelsey’s been through a lot—much of which has been caused by men.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, sensing Jace was talking about more than drug dealers being after her.
A flicker of regret passed over this expression. “It’s her story to tell, not mine. But all I’m saying is that I doubt she came to work at The Ranch because she was searching for the One with a capital O.”
Wyatt focused on the large cedar building looming in the distance as he absorbed Jace’s words. Why had he assumed that? Maybe that wasn’t what Kelsey wanted at all. He’d met those women out on a husband hunt all the time. Girls like that flocked to guys like him—ants to a Popsicle stick. They got wind of his money and position and were already building dream houses on the beach in their minds. He could smell it on them like over-spritzed perfume. He’d never gotten that vibe from Kelsey, not even a whiff.
“Maybe you’re right,” Wyatt admitted.
Jace leaned out of the car to press his finger to a machine at the entry gate, then turned back toward Wyatt. “I’m always right. I thought we’d established this by now.”
Wyatt sniffed, so used to his brother’s ego that he didn’t bother to respond to it. “This whole plan might work out after all.”
The gates in front of them swung open, and Jace pulled forward. “Oh, and one thing I forgot to tell you.”
“What’s that?”
He sent a sly grin Wyatt’s way. “Your sweet waitress who I know you’re weaving filthy slave fantasies about?”
Wyatt grimaced but didn’t deny it.
“Yeah. She’s a dominatrix.”
“She’s a—” Wyatt’s head dropped back against the seat. “Ah, fucking hell.”
* * *
Kelsey stripped down in the locker room and donned the standard black bra and panty set that most female submissive trainees wore at The Ranch. Colby had also told her to wear a basic leather collar for their first session. She knew why he’d made the request. He’d obviously sensed her reluctance to take the role even in their initial limits negotiations and wanted to put that psychological symbol in place early. And it’d been a powerful one. The minute she’d fastened the simple strip of leather around her neck, her heartbeat had picked up speed and her skin had gone clammy.
I can do this, Kelsey reminded herself.
Surprisingly, despite the trauma with Davis, fear wasn’t at the forefront of her mind. She knew Colby wouldn’t physically harm her. There wasn’t even a doubt there about that. She was more knotted up about what this submission could open in her. She tried not to think of all the men she’d yielded to in her life. None of those relationships had been D/s based, but the blind trust had been there all the same. When she let her guard down, she could lose herself in a guy. Each time thinking this was going to be the one who didn’t fuck her over. And time and time again, she’d picked the wrong guy to grace with that hope.
Growing up, she’d thought it was her version of rebellion against her mother’s sour view of men. Her mom had told her and her sister to trust none of them, that men only did what was good for their dicks, their wallets, and their ego. But Kelsey had trundled along, reading her fairy tales and believing that she could create her own one day. And that silly girlish hope had only led her right down the path scarily close to the one her mother had ended up on. Kelsey had been used, taken advantage of, and belittled more times than she cared to remember. And now she was going to let another guy have control over her.
Even though logically she knew it was temporary and that Colby would rather cut off an arm before he ever hurt her, she was having trouble keeping her dread locked away.
She glanced at the clock and realized she had three minutes before she was due in the training room. I can do this, she repeated silently, and took a deep breath. In an hour, it’d be done. The hurdle crossed. All she needed to do was get past this first session, then it would get easier. Gathering up all the iron inside her, she straightened her spine, slipped on a silk robe and ballet flats, and headed out into the hallway. Reluctant or not, she wasn’t going to dare to be late.