Ruby Parker: Hollywood Star

Imogene laughed. “That, Ruby,” she said, “was the point. It’s extremely hard keeping stuff like this a secret so, please, not word. Promise?”

“I promise,” I said solemnly. She slipped the ring she could not wear back under her top and we went back to the throng that was waiting to see the screening.

Michael White had arrived and a few other people that Jeremy knew, including the large man in the pale blue suit who everybody seemed to gather around, including Art. The last to arrive was Lisa Wells, who was talking on the phone as she swept into the viewing room, smiling and winking at me as she went past.

“OK, guys!” Art called out as we filed into the viewing room, which was a bit like a miniature cinema. “Take your seats. Sit back and enjoy.”

I listened as the swell of the opening music played over the titles of the film and then I leant back in my seat and held my breath.

Preview Report compiled by Lisa Wells for Art Dubrovnik

The Lost Treasure of King Arthur Directed by Art Dubrovnik Starring Imogene Grant, Jeremy Fort, Harry Mclean and Sean Rivers Introducing Ruby Parker

Test audiences in theaters scored the film quite highly with an overall mark of 8/10

For Thrilling Action they gave it an overall score of 9/10

For Plot they gave it an overall score of 7/10

73% said that the plot was sometimes hard to follow

For actors’ performances they gave it an overall score of 7/10

48% would go and see it for Imogene Grant, regardless

9 4% enjoyed her performance

89% enjoyed Jeremy Fort in the role of Professor Darkly

72% were disappointed by Harry McLean, but we have to take into consideration his recent fall in popularity

68% came purely for Sean Rivers in case it was his last film. This alone should ensure a healthy box-office turnover

78% of the test audiences thought that the young actress Ruby Parker made an impressive debut

As an Art Dubrovnik film they scored it 6/10

54% stated they preferred Mr Dubrovnik’s less commercial work. But when asked again to score the film purely on entertainment and enjoyment factor the score went up to 8/10

These scores were compiled from results taken from fifty screenings shown nationwide and represent the views of approximately 5000 people over a wide demographic.

As the credits rolled I leapt out of my seat and applauded wildly. It took me a minute or two to realise I was the only one doing it.

“Sorry,” I said, feeling myself blush. “It’s not cool to applaud yourself, is it?”

Imogene laughed and stood up to Join me. “Sometimes it is,” she said, starting to clap. Gradually, everyone else in the room joined in and we all gave ourselves a standing ovation. Maybe it was a bit like “blowing your own trumpet” as my granny would say, but I thought that considering I had just seen myself for the first time in a proper film I could be let off.

I sat down again as the adults talked. I couldn’t quite believe what I had seen. It was me, but not me. At first, while I was watching, all I could think of was what had happened on the day when that particular scene had been shot, or spotting that I had been wearing costume number four. (I had worn the same school uniform for most of the filming, except that there were thirty-two different versions, each one in a worse state of repair than the last depending on where I was in the story.) Or I found myself thinking that my face looked a bit funny from that camera angle, especially when it was blown up a gazillion times, so you could see all the pores on my nose.

But then I finally saw the shot of my character Polly Harris as she dangled off what now really looked like a real precipice with a fatal drop below. I saw Polly leap into midair and disappear into the black void to her certain death. From that minute on I wasn’t watching me any more. I was watching the film. And perhaps I am biased, but I thought it was pretty good.

The lights went up and as we sat back down in our seats Lisa handed out sheets of A4 paper. As I read it took a while for me to understand what it was because I had no idea that reports like this even existed.

“Well, Art,” the big man in the blue suit who got to sit in the front row said, “I think that has a chance of being a box-office winner, I really do. Despite everything.”

“Thanks, Jim,” Art said.

“It’s a little long,” the man called Jim said, and I held my breath, certain that Art would lose his temper at such an offensive comment. Art was a perfectionist; he never got anything wrong.

But all Art did was nod, adding mildly, “I think I can safely trim about ten minutes off and also improve the audience’s understanding of the plot.”

“And that’s why we pay you what we do, Art. And it seems that the audience will love it,” Jim said, gesturing at the piece of paper in his hand, “if they ever go and see it.”

“But why wouldn’t they?” I asked, conscious a second or two later that as a thirteen-year-old and the least important person here, I probably shouldn’t be saying anything. The man in the pale blue suit called Jim twisted in his seat to look at me.

“Miss Parker,” he said, offering me a plump hand. “Pleased to meet you, I don’t think you and I have been formally introduced. I’m Jim Honeycutt, head of Wide Open Universe.”

“Oh,” I replied, awestruck. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise. I shouldn’t have said anything…”

“On the contrary, Miss Parker,” Mr Honeycutt said. “It’s a question that needs to be addressed even if I think that by now most of us know the answer…”

“I don’t,” I said before I could stop myself.

“Quite.” Jim Honeycutt looked very serious. “The critics hate it. Or should I say, they want to hate it. Nobody wanted Art to do anything different. They feel he has betrayed his art-house roots to make money…”

“That’s not true,” Art said crossly. “All I wanted to do was make a quality entertainment picture, to show all those other bozos out there how to do it…”

“I know, Art, I know,” Jim soothed him with a wave of his giant hands. “And a lot of people are angry about Harry Mclean. And, most significantly some people, namely one Mr Pat Rivers, is blaming this film for pushing his cash pot of a son into what he alleges is a nervous breakdown and ruining his career.”

“Well, that’s just rubbish,” I said. “Sean is incredibly happy at the moment, not nervous or broken down at all.”

“Might have to quote you on that, Ruby,” Lisa said, making a note on her clipboard.

“But you can’t,” I replied. “I promised Sean I wouldn’t talk about him to anyone. He wants to be out of the spotlight.”

“Well, we’ll see,” Jim said as if he hadn’t completely understood me. “We might need that young man and he did sign a contract with publicity obligations. And although the nation loves Imogene, she’s been at the top for a long time now. It could be the critics are Just waiting for a chance to knock her down.”

“But that’s horrid,” I said in a small voice. “And it’s not true; it’s a good film and Imogene is the best thing in it.”

“That might be so, Miss Parker,” Jim said. “But this business is like a fish pond full of sharks. If you want to survive in it, you’ve got to be a shark too.”

Lisa Wells stood up and walked to the front of the small theatre. “There’s no need to panic,” she told everyone. “We all know that films can be a huge success without critical or press approval. Just look at last year’s biggest grossing movie, Giant Dinosaurs in Manhattan. No one liked it; everybody went to see it.”

“And that was a dreadful film,” Art said under his breath.

“What we need to do,” Michael said, “is get to our audience directly. Everyone needs to do as much TV and radio as possible. Jeremy, it’s late notice but I’ve got you on the Carl Vine show tonight. OK?”

Jeremy nodded. “OK. And I can take Ruby on with me.”