The Cowboy Soldier

By this time, Alexa had led him into the barn, and suddenly, Rafe found it impossible to breathe.

Pungent air, thick with the aroma of earth and animal dung, set his head spinning. The clang of metal on metal as the door banged closed behind them shot him straight back to the last trek he’d made through the Afghan mountains. That sound meant one thing—bullets striking their equipment jeep. Familiar earthy smells of goats and the unwashed bodies of the men who tended the flocks threatened to choke him. Innocent looking goat tenders often hid automatic weapons under their worn robes. His body rigid, Rafe was sure he could smell goat, and he started to shake. His patrol should take cover. Where were they?

Someone was touching his arm, and a quiet voice said, “You’re fine, Rafe. This is Texas. As soon as we finish feeding all the stock, we’ll go soak away your anxiety at the hot springs. If that’s not enough, I’ll throw in a peppermint-oil back massage afterward. I know yesterday you nixed the idea of a trip to the springs, but I guarantee, once you step into the water, you’ll be hooked forever.”

Her voice ricocheted like gunshots inside Rafe’s head. Desperate to flee, to find his patrol, he wheeled and tripped over an empty feed bucket and went sprawling. The clatter of his boot on the tin bucket sent the animals around him into a frenzy. He could hear a mountain lion hiss and snarl, and a great owl hooted and flapped its wings. Squirrels chattered nonstop and he heard the shriek of a hawk.

The animals must be warning him of an impending attack. Rafe grabbed Alexa’s legs and threw her down on the ground. He flung an arm over her torso and barked a series of staccato orders. “Don’t move a muscle. Let the heavy artillery rout out the enemy.”

“Easy,” a soothing voice whispered. “You’re okay. Breathe deeply.”

Gradually his pounding heart slowed to a normal rate, and he heard the gentle patter of an animal’s paws approaching just seconds before a wet tongue lapped his face.

Rafe was aware that he was emerging from a flashback. Part of him understood that the threat hadn’t been real. But a major portion of his brain was still befuddled. It made no sense that his face was buried in long strands of sweet-smelling hair. Again, a bird squawked in the background, and it rattled Rafe all the more when a woman shifted out from under him, sat up and forced him to do the same. What were they doing on the ground? Dr. Robinson. God, had he attacked her?

“Are you okay?” she murmured. “You had a small flashback, Rafe.”

The question had him sweating profusely. Was he getting worse? He hadn’t had a single flashback at Sierra’s. This was his second since coming here.

“You fell over a feed bucket,” Alexa said, scrambling to her knees as she began calmly checking his face and arms for cuts or bruises. “It was my fault. I saw the bucket, but didn’t move it out of the aisle. Feed buckets belong on wall pegs, not on the barn floor where they can trip people. I swear I’ll be more careful in the future.”

Her cool, seductive touch telegraphed a signal to Rafe’s body. Even though he couldn’t see the woman who hovered so close to him, he was still a man. All man.

His fingers flexed around Alexa’s upper arms and he pulled her forward until he could feel the outline of her soft breasts against his chest. It frustrated him to not be able to see her face—her lips. He knew they parted invitingly, because he felt her gasp, and tiny puffs of her sweet breath tickled his mouth. His grip tightened as he savored the thought of how those soft lips would taste.

“Rafe?” She wedged her hands between them, pushing his chest gently, but firmly. “You’re still hallucinating. I’m your doctor. You’re my patient. Snap out of it, Major.”

The embarrassment of the situation slammed hard into Rafe. What was he doing? Disgusted with himself, he dropped Alexa’s arms like they were torches of fire.

“This whole idea of me helping you feed your animals is stupid,” he shouted. “It’s obvious I’m totally useless.” He struggled to get to his feet, and when he was upright, he ordered, “Take me back to my room. Right now.”

He heard Alexa lift something down from the barn wall.

“I’ll clip a leash to Compadre’s collar,” she said in a neutral voice. “If you want to go to the house, let him lead you. I happen to have chores to finish.”

Rafe wound the loop of leather around his wrist, and although he’d been stung by Alexa’s taunt, he followed the dog out into the fresh air.

Only after he was inside his bedroom did he allow himself to acknowledge his shame. Not so much for the flashback. He had no control over those. But he had turned tail and bailed on Alexa. One thing Rafe had never been was a quitter.

For an hour he paced the room, trying to think of a way to redeem himself with Alexa. He had hated lying around, useless in the hospital. And he’d been in the way at Sierra’s. Alexa was the first person who seemed to believe he could be independent. If he stopped being pigheaded and listened to her, maybe he could learn to live on his own. That appealed to Rafe. Prior to the debacle in the barn, he’d felt invigorated. Sierra believed his loss of sight was caused by a block to his brain. He wasn’t so sure about that himself, but maybe if he started depending more on himself than on others, he could eventually function on his own, as Alexa believed.

Rafe wondered if she was the kind of woman who needed to make a man grovel for forgiveness. He didn’t grovel well. On the other hand, he wasn’t above turning on a little charm to see if that would get him a second chance.

ALEXA FELT A LITTLE GUILTY at dredging up busy work in order not to go back to the house until suppertime. Professionally, she knew patients sometimes hit on their doctors. And Rafe had been suffering some type of flashback. But the real problem lay with her. She found Rafe attractive. And she wasn’t a desperate woman living in an isolated area. One park ranger in particular had hinted he was interested in her romantically, and she’d ignored him without a problem.

But she’d come within inches of kissing Rafe. There was no question about it, though—getting involved with Rafe would be ethically wrong and violate doctor-patient trust. In any case, Rafe had undoubtedly been thinking of some other woman today when he’d reached for her. Someone from his past. Or maybe he’d just been looking for comfort. Right now he was probably regretting coming here and packing his duffel to leave the ranch. But no matter what he decided, her professional code of conduct was intact. No romantic fraternizing with the former major, regardless of how compelling a man he was.

Shortly before dark, she entered her house through the back door and found Rafe and Compadre standing in front of the open fridge. Guilt rose up in her.

“I’m sorry, but I got tied up cleaning stalls. Time just got away from me,” she fibbed.

“No problem,” Rafe said lightly. “As you pointed out this morning, this is a working ranch. Care and feeding of stock comes first.” He shut the fridge door. “I thought maybe I could fix us an easy meal. Maybe soup and cheese sandwiches.” His shoulders drooped slightly. “But, I couldn’t find bread or cheese. I feel bad for being here and causing you extra work.”

So he wasn’t going to mention the incident in the barn, Alexa thought. Well, neither would she. “I came in fully expecting you might have phoned Sierra to come pick you up.”

Rafe crossed his arms and leaned on the counter. “The truth is, I like it here. I especially like the fact that you don’t take any crap from me. I want to learn to do things for myself again. Can we start over tomorrow—on a better footing?”

He looked so boyishly contrite, an errant black curl or two falling down over his forehead, that Alexa couldn’t have refused his request if she’d wanted to. “That sounds good to me.” She figured she might have to rethink her approach. “Give me time to shower, then you can help me fix soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.”

“Sure, but I figured you’d want to soak in that hot spring you keep talking about.”

“Another day. We both skipped lunch. Compadre cleaned his dish, I see.” Alexa picked up the empty bowl and took a bag of kibble from a cupboard. She thrust both into Rafe’s hands. “There’s a cup in this sack. Put two cups full of dry dog food in this dish and set it on the rubber mat on the floor across from the fridge. Compadre will thank you and so will I. Fifteen minutes. Twenty, max, and I’ll be back.” She hurried into the office that sat adjacent to the kitchen and led to her rooms, ignoring the anticipation surging through her.

The rest of the evening went off without incident. Neither she nor Rafe made any reference to what had happened earlier. Rafe was the first to head off to bed.

“I found you an alarm clock,” Alexa told him. “It’s set for seven.” She passed the clock to Rafe. “I’ll go out at six and feed the wild animals, then come back and make breakfast. I’ve been thinking that working with the horses will probably suit you best.”

“I used to have a real rapport with horses,” Rafe told her. “Of course, back then I could look one in the eye and show him who was boss.”

Alexa refused to let herself respond to the regret in his voice. Hope and confidence were important tools in the medical arsenal, both for doctor and patient. “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” she said. “We’ll go slow. Being active restores energy, so the work will be good for you. I’ve got some new herbal combinations I think you should try.”

“Just so you know…I’m not drinking any more of that crap tea. It tasted like dirty dishwater.”

Alexa laughed. “I’m planning to brew up a little skullcap and passionflower tea tomorrow.”

“I hope you’re kidding.” Rafe shuddered as he left the kitchen.

ALEXA HADN’T BEEN TEASING.

Rafe chugged down a full cup of tea the next morning but said nothing. And he seemed in better spirits when the two of them, with Compadre, started for the horse barn.

“Are you raising a particular breed of horse?” Rafe asked.

“Andalusian.”

“I’ve never worked with any of those. But horses are horses, right?”

“I chose the Spanish breed for several reasons. They’re tall, strong and intelligent, and have a good temperament. Most of my clients want gentle riding horses. I buy two or three at a time from a reputable breeder. Mares and geldings. I gentle them over time, and get them used to trail rides. But one of the mares I have now needs to be trained as a barrel racer.”

“Really?” Rafe appeared interested. They entered the large barn, and this time there were no flashbacks. The mare she’d mentioned, named Esperanza, whinnied and nuzzled Rafe’s neck the minute Alexa led her out of her stall.

“I think she likes you.” Alexa clipped a rope to the mare’s halter and handed the lead line to Rafe. “You want to take her into the corral? Put her through her paces?”

“You’d trust me to do that?”

“It’s a big, bare dirt corral. I showed you where it is. Give it a whirl. I’ll feed my saddle horses, then pop out to see how you’re getting along before I take Tano, Esperanza’s brother, into the smaller exercise pen.” She handed him a pair of sunglasses and reminded him to cover his eyes before she opened the double doors that led into the corral. “You need to protect your eyes from sunburn since you can’t tell how bright or intense the sun actually is.”

The mare pranced out into the sunshine, forcing Rafe to jog out, too. Alexa kept Compadre from getting under his feet.