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Something About Ewe: Something About Ewe / The Purrfect Man

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2018
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THAT NIGHT AT DINNER, Thalia innocently repeated Luke’s remarks to her mother, and then only in passing. Therefore, no one was more astonished than she when two sheep were delivered a day later.

5

“UH…HENRY?”

“What is it now, Joyce?

“Do my eyes deceive me or are there really two sheep grazing in that pasture across the road?”

Henry Brown squinted. He was sitting on a patio chair on his deck across the street from Lorraine Myers’s place, so he didn’t have to go to much trouble. After a moment he said, “Yep, that’s sheep all right.”

Joyce harrumphed. “That woman must be crazy! Sheep aren’t allowed in Shangri-la.”

“Well, now, she was here before anyone ever heard of Shangri-la, Joyce.”

“There you go, taking her side again. We didn’t pay this kind of money for a home in Shangri-la so we could live across the street from sheep—smelly, ugly, noisy, dirty sheep.”

“That’s your daddy talking, hon,” Henry said, trying to soothe her. “You don’t like sheep because he was a cattle rancher.”

“I don’t like sheep because they kill the grass. Where they’ve been, not even a weed will grow and no self-respecting cow will ever go.”

“That’s an old wives’ tale.”

“Watch who you’re calling an old wife. I tell you, those sheep have got to go! Lorraine Myers is doing this just to annoy us, you know she is. She’s against Shangri-la number two and this is her way of—”

“Joyce, Joyce, I can’t believe she’d—”

“Cows are approved in Shangri-la. Horses are okay, too. But sheep and pigs and chickens are out—o-u-t, out. They simply aren’t class enough.”

“Calm down, honey. You’re getting all worked—”

“I’m calling Joe John Jeff Jordan and then I’m calling Mayor Kelly. This has got to be nipped in the bud. It’s bad enough that she refuses to sell out so we’re forced to look at that awful island, that eyesore in the middle of the nicest development in—”

“Her property’s not an eyesore, sweetheart. Actually, it’s quite a nice old Victorian, and she keeps it up real well. Just because it isn’t new like all the rest of—”

“That’s right, it isn’t new. It’s an eyesore, just like I said. Maybe we have to put up with that but we don’t have to put up with sheep!”

Joyce stomped back inside the ersatz Tudor. Henry sat there alone on the wooden deck, listening to birds sing and watching a furry black streak maneuver two woollies. Sipping his coffee, he thought about the fact that his wife was on a rampage and he hadn’t even had breakfast yet.

He sure didn’t deserve a range war over sheep at this hour.

ANTICIPATING A SLOW DAY at the shop, Lorraine decided to pop into Denver to visit wholesalers, leaving her daughter and Miss Pauline in charge. With the pickup in the garage for service, Lorraine bubbled with excitement about the sheep while driving her daughter into town.

“Did you see how Reckless perked up?” she demanded for the third time. “He’s already a new dog.”

Thalia had to admit it was the truth. No sooner had the two fat white sheep been unloaded than Reckless had bolted upright, ears and eyes suddenly alert. When Lorraine waved the dog forward, Reckless was off like a streak.

For the next hour, the dog shoved those balls of fluff from one end of the pasture to the other, his tongue hanging out in happy pants with the effort. He was obviously in his glory.

Thus Thalia entered the flower shop already smiling. She supposed she really should call Luke and tell him how brilliantly his suggestion had worked. She knew he’d been kidding around about the sheep but still—

Miss Pauline looked up from the receptionist’s desk, her normally placid face flushed. She held several slips of paper in her hand and others littered the desk.

“My goodness.” Thalia’s smile slipped. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s those sheep,” Miss Pauline wailed. “Honestly, Thalia dear, what has your mother done this time?”

THALIA DIDN’T WANT or need a brand-new crisis while her mother was out of town. All Thalia wanted was to be left alone, without involvement with anyone or anything. She would be leaving Colorado soon. Conflict and confrontation was not what she wanted in her life.

That’s what she was getting, though. All hell had apparently broken loose in Shepherd’s Pass over the presence of sheep in Shangri-la, or near it, as the case might be. Thalia hadn’t even made it through the telephone messages when Emily rushed through the front door.

“Hi, Miss Pauline,” she greeted the elderly lady before zipping past to lean breathlessly over the counter where Thalia was reading the messages spread out before her. “Is it true?”

Thalia grimaced. “Is what true?”

“That your mother is starting a sheep ranch at her place.”

“A sheep ranch!”

Emily nodded. “I hear she’s already got a contract to sell wool to a big sweater manufacturer. She’s got a flock of fifty sheep with more to come and—”

Thalia burst into incredulous laughter. “She’s only got two sheep! She bought them to give old Reckless something to do.”

“Her dog?” Emily frowned. “Only two?”

“Right, and right.” Thalia shook her head helplessly. “How do these stories get started?”

“Usually with a little grain of truth that quickly becomes the oyster that ate Cincinnati.” Emily propped her elbows on the counter. “I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but this news is literally sweeping through town like a wildfire.”

“I’m aware of it, all right.” Thalia glanced ruefully at the phone messages. “And as you’d expect during a crisis, Mother’s out of town for the day. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this.”

“You might start by ducking.” Emily rolled her eyes toward the front door. “Because here comes our esteemed mayor now, and I don’t think he wants to make you citizen of the day.” She backed away. “See you!”

“Emily, don’t leave me!”

“Sorry, I’ve got to get back to my own job.” With a wave for Thalia and another for Mayor Kelly and Miss Pauline, she retreated.

Mayor Kelly’s ruddy complexion was even redder than usual. He gave Thalia a resentful look. “Young lady, what has your mother done this time?”

“This time?” It was a squeak of dismay.

The mayor nodded. “Whenever we have trouble in this town, we always find Lorraine Myers right smack-dab in the middle of it. But I sure didn’t think she’d stoop low enough to terrorize the residents of Shangri-la with sheep!”

A cattleman, huh. Just what Thalia needed. “Look, Mayor Kelly, Mother brought in two sheep—just two. Her reasons had nothing to do with Shangri-la.”

“I find that difficult to believe.”

“Why? Mother isn’t interested in annoying her neighbors.” Thalia hoped. “Just because she’s opposed to the second phase of that project doesn’t mean—”
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