To Have And To Hold

‘Some time next week probably.’

‘OK. If I’m not here I expect I’ll be at home,’ she ventured, not wanting him to phone and wonder where she was.

But Rhys merely said, ‘Fine. Listen, will you collect a couple of jackets I left at the cleaners? You’ll find the ticket in the top drawer of the chest in the bedroom.’

‘Do you want me to send them to you?’

‘No, just put them in the wardrobe. Thanks. I’ll have to go. Take care of yourself, little one.’

‘And you, Rhys. I miss you so much. I——’

‘And you, urchin. Bye.’

Alix heard the phone go dead and slowly replaced her own in disappointment. She had been about to tell him she loved him but he had been too quick for her. But that was Rhys, brisk and to the point; and anyway there was really no need to tell him because he already knew, there was nothing in the world he could be more sure of.

Rousing herself, she went over to the chest of drawers to look in the top one. Rhys had cleared several of them out for her, but this wasn’t one of them. There were a lot of things in it that he hadn’t needed to take to Australia: his gold twenty-first birthday watch, several membership cards, a combined address book and diary. Alix fingered the latter, was strongly tempted to look inside but resisted it. Rhys was hers now; she trusted him implicitly and had no wish beyond curiosity to know about his past.

On Friday Alix went home to Kent and had the most marvellous weekend. To be secretly engaged was wildly romantic, but to be able to share the secret, and discuss it with all the parents, was even better. Her mother and Aunt Joanne were already discussing wedding plans, de- ciding where and when, drawing up lists of guests. Uncle David picked up their combined list and pretended to be terribly shaken. ‘Good lord, John!’ he said to her father. ‘At this rate we’re both going to have to work till we’re ninety to pay for all this.’ But it was said in fun, and they were all as openly delighted as Alix.

The next two months went by agonisingly slowly. Alix didn’t go out much in case Rhys rang, which he did a few times, but the calls were, to Alix, frustratingly short. Instead she sat at home and relieved her feelings somewhat by writing very long letters to Rhys, trying to restrict herself to one a week, but often ending up sending two or three. In return, Rhys sent her several postcards, but she didn’t receive the letter she had so longed for; a love-letter, her very first from the man she was to marry.

Life became full of excitement again when Rhys at last rang his parents to say he was coming home in just a few days, he wasn’t sure exactly when, though. Alix had finally succumbed to Kathy’s persuasion and had gone to see a film with her, so missing Rhys’s call to the flat, to her bitter disappointment. And when she tried to ring him back someone with a strong Australian accent said he wasn’t available. Trying to control her impatience, trying without much success to hide her happiness and excitement, Alix somehow got through the next couple of days, expecting every night to hear from Rhys so that she would know when to collect him from the airport. But on the Thursday afternoon Alix got a call, not from Rhys, but from his mother.

‘Rhys is home, dear. He flew into Gatwick this morning, and it was so near home that he just rang and asked me to collect him. He expected to be here last night and surprise us all, but unfortunately his plane was delayed for hours in Singapore.’

‘He’s home?’ Alix didn’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed; she’d rehearsed going to meet him so many times in her mind. ‘I’ll come straight away.’

‘There’s no point in rushing, Alix dear; he’s so jetlagged that I’ve made him have a rest. Come at the usual time and we’ll all have a celebration dinner together.’

Alix would much rather have had Rhys to herself that evening, that night, here in London, but realised that if he was at home she wouldn’t stand a chance. Even though Rhys’s mother had told her not to rush back, Alix still wanted time to wash her hair and get ready for tonight, so she decided to ask to leave early anyway. But unfortunately her own boss was away sick that day, so she had to go to the head of the department to ask permission, and also ask to have the following day off.

‘I’m owed a day’s holiday,’ Alix pointed out, but determined to have the day off no matter what.

‘That’s OK, Alix. Your work is always up to date. Is it——?’ He broke off as there was a brief rap on the door and Todd Weston walked in.

‘Hi there. Sorry to interrupt.’ He glanced towards Alix and smiled in recognition. ‘Ah, the girl with a boy’s name. Alex, isn’t it?’

‘You’re close. It’s Alix,’ she corrected him.

‘Nice to see you again. How are you?’

‘Fine, thank you.’

His eyes settled on her face and he grinned. ‘Yes, I can see you are.’ He looked towards the head of department. ‘Is there some problem?’

‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘Alix just came to ask for tomorrow off. I was just going to ask her if it was something special?’

He was rewarded with the most dazzling smile. ‘Oh, yes, it most certainly is.’

Both men laughed at her enthusiasm, and Todd said, ‘I wonder if I can guess what it is.’

Alix flushed a little but shook her head and wouldn’t explain.

The department head said, ‘OK, Alix, off you go. See you Monday.’

‘Yes. Thank you. Goodbye, Mr Weston.’

‘So long, Alix.’

As soon as she was out of the office, Alix rushed to catch the tube and then the train, willing them to go faster and yet faster, her thoughts flying ahead of her.

It was still only half-past four when Alix ran into the house, hugged her mother in excitement, then ran upstairs to spend the next two and a half hours getting ready. Weeks ago she had found the perfect outfit to wear tonight: black silk evening trousers, a beaded black strapless top, and a loose shirt with silver flecks to go over the top. Alix put them on and felt really glamorous. Her hair she wore long and as straight as it would go with so much natural curl in it, and she wore more makeup than she usually did at home. She added some new expensive French perfume, examined herself anxiously in the mirror, then glowed with satisfaction, knowing she looked good.

Both the families had always been so close that it didn’t occur to anyone that Alix might feel a little shy at meeting Rhys again in these new circumstances. It didn’t even occur to Alix until they were walking along the road to Rhys’s house. But when they had parted they had been merely long-term friends; now they were engaged to be married. She suddenly longed to be alone when she met him, to have time to be at ease with him again. But with parents as close as hers, Alix didn’t stand a chance. They were walking along, chatting happily together, wondering how long Rhys would be at home this time, how long in England.

When they reached the door Alix hung back, terribly unsure of herself. Was she supposed to rush into Rhys’s arms, to kiss him and call him darling in front of them all? She couldn’t do it, not when everything was so new, not when she hadn’t yet been alone with him as his fiancée. She didn’t know how to act towards him, how she was supposed to behave. Alix wanted to turn and run but Uncle David had opened the door and was ushering them in.

‘Rhys is in the sitting-room.’

They all looked at her expectantly, but Alix knew an uncharacteristic moment of panic and couldn’t move.

‘Alix?’ her father said questioningly.

But then suddenly it was all right because Rhys came out into the hall. He glanced at her, but turned first to her mother and father to greet them and receive their congratulations. Then he quite firmly showed the others into the sitting-room and shut the door so that they were alone. The shyness lasted for a moment longer until Rhys raised his eyebrow and said, ‘Had second thoughts?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Then come here, idiot.’ And he spread his arms.

She ran into them and he held her close, then looked down at her teasingly. ‘Hello, urchin.’

He kissed her, then, a most satisfactory kiss that left her head in a whirl and made her give a long sigh of discovery when he lifted his head. ‘I have been waiting for that for so long.’

He grinned. ‘Well, I’m home now.’

But she hadn’t meant that; Alix meant that she had been waiting for her body to feel this aching need when she was close to him, for awakening womanhood. But she put the thought aside for later, and smiled back at him, her eyes alight with happiness.

‘Come on, we have to face them some time.’

Taking her hand, Rhys led her into the sitting-room, to be confronted by their parents with raised glasses of champagne. ‘To Rhys and Alix! Congratulations, darlings.’

Then there were kisses all around, they were given champagne and Rhys raised his glass in a silent toast to her. Alix knew she was grinning like an idiot but couldn’t help it. It was a moment of the most supreme happiness, to be surrounded by those she loved and who loved her, and to know that her dream had come true and she was to spend the rest of her life with the man she had always wanted. Once, during the course of the evening, when they were all seated round the table, laughing and talking, for a strange moment she felt detached from it, as if she was an onlooker, and the silly thought came into her mind that it was all too good to be true. Someone spoke to her, she blinked and shook off the unwelcome thought, promptly forgot it as she leant forward to reply.

A lot of the talk of course was about the wedding and where they would live. ‘You must buy a house near here,’ both mothers insisted.

‘There’s plenty of time,’ Rhys said in casual protest. ‘We’re not even officially engaged yet.’

‘So when is the announcement to be made?’ her father asked.