The Baby Diaries

Dr Bedford: So, how can I help you today?

Me: [suddenly nervous] I think I might be … [indicating her]

Dr Bedford: Black?

Me: No! No, not … no, I mean –

Dr Bedford: I’m just kidding, Katherine.

I like her.

Dr Bedford: You think you might be pregnant?

Me: Haha, ha. Yes, I think I’m pregnant.

Dr Bedford: And what makes you think that?

Me: I’ve missed two periods, I did four pregnancy tests in the end and they were all positive.

Dr Bedford: Just wanting to make sure?

Me: Exactly.

Dr Bedford: And how do you feel about this pregnancy?

Me: It wasn’t exactly planned, so I freaked out a bit to begin with – we only just got married this summer –

Dr Bedford: Congratulations!

Me: Thank you – so I wasn’t really sure how to handle it all, but I’m really happy now. I think. We both are.

Dr Bedford: OK, congratulations for this too, then. You say you’ve missed two periods – do you think that’s how far along you could be?

Me: [suddenly feeling like I’ve made an embarrassing mistake] Ye-es. Is that a problem?

Dr Bedford: [laughing] Of course it’s not a problem, Katherine! We’re not going to send you away because you’re a little later noticing than some mothers! Now, I’ll give the hospital a ring to get you booked in for your twelve-week scan – obviously these things are often booked up a while in advance, but of course we’ll find space for you. How are you feeling in yourself?

Me: Fine, thanks.

Dr Bedford: Any tiredness, or aches? Any pains around your womb area?

Me: I did feel completely wiped out about a month ago. I kept coming home from work and falling straight to sleep. But I thought that was delayed trauma from everything that’s happened this year. Do you think it was related to this?

Dr Bedford: I think it almost certainly was. So you’re getting lots of rest now? Anything else, any aches?

Me: Some aching, but I thought it was just period pains. I assume that’s why I haven’t realised. I kept getting stretching, achey pains, then forgetting that the period itself didn’t actually show up. And my appetite has gone crazy – either I’m trying to eat everything, or there’s nothing I can eat without feeling sick. I actually kept meaning to come and see you about it.

Dr Bedford: That’s quite normal, I’m afraid. And how have you been taking care of yourself, generally? Do you smoke or take drugs?

Me: [triumphant] No! Neither!

Dr Bedford: [laughing again] Well, that is something. How about drinking? What’s your weekly intake?

Me: Average?

Dr Bedford: What do you think we’re talking; a bottle of wine a night?

Me: God, no! Actually, it has been way less recently. That’s weird.

Dr Bedford: As long as you’re cutting back now, that’s all that matters. What’s done is done, yes?

Me: I suppose so.

Dr Bedford: I’ll sort out that scan, and give you this booklet [hands over giant A4 folder]. It will hopefully answer any questions you’ve got, give you some idea how to take care of yourself, and let you know all the check-ups and scans you’ll be having. You might also want to think about joining one of the antenatal groups around here, to meet some other mums.

Me: [choking sound]

Dr Bedford: Are you alright?

Me: Mums. Other mums. Other mums. Is it hot in here?

Dr Bedford: It could help you, Katherine, if you want to talk about this with people who might know what you’re going through right now. Do you have any other questions?

Me: Doctor.

Dr Bedford: Yes, Katherine.

Me: Is this all going to be OK?

Dr Bedford: I can’t tell you that, Katherine, but you’re a sensible girl. If you’re eating well and taking care of yourself, I don’t see that there should be any reason to worry. But it’s the scan that can really tell you what you’re looking for. Anything else?

Me: Can you tell my parents?

Dr Bedford: Do you think they’ll be upset?

Me: No. I think they’ll be delighted. I’m just not sure I can cope with it.

Dr Bedford: Well, Katherine, I’m always here if you need support or guidance, but do bear in mind [leaning in, conspiratorial] I’ve only two months to my maternity leave and I do have quite a few people to see before I can go. So …

Me: I see. Thanks, Doctor.

Dr Bedford: [smiling] You’ll be fine.

She is a great doctor. Maybe we’ll bond over our babies and become the best of friends, and we’ll bring our kids up together and have loads of hilarious misadventures as a gang. But maybe I won’t mention that yet. We’ll just see how it goes.

Some things that, with hindsight, were possibly caused by me being pregnant:

1 Sleeping fourteen-hour nights for two whole weeks