The Wedding Diaries

Steve: You know it! All women are liars, cheats and deceivers. All they want is to grind a man under their heel, grind him down … break him … [sobbing]

Even Eve had the sense to look uncomfortable by that point, tearing herself away from an ill-at-ease Thom who she’d been talking to at the edge of the garden (had she been backing out of bridesmaiding?). She dragged Steve into the kitchen to ‘help her with drinks’ and they left without sticking more than a goodbye arm back in the garden. Susie told Lily and Edward that it was worth remembering that actually, women were particularly brilliant, and the Twins responded by rote: ‘Gene Tierney, Aung San Suu Kyi, Marie Stopes and Marie Curie.’ Susie patted them both on the head and gave them a fruit kebab. Something tells me we won’t be seeing Steve again.

September 29th

Further emails with Jacki have confirmed that she has all her own staff for the wedding – the venue is booked, the dress is designed, the food arranged and even the hen party organised. From the little I’ve had to do with her, I’m not remotely surprised. But I am surprised to discover how much I like her: she’s not only incredibly professional and sweet, but pretty funny too.

We had this correspondence yesterday:

From: Carlow, Kiki

To: Jacki Jones

Subject: Engagement?

Hi Jacki,

Will you be happy to include details of how you and Leon got engaged in the book?

Thanks again,

Kiki

From: Jacki Jones

To: Carlow, Kiki

Re: Engagement?

Hi Kiki!!!!!!

I am more than happy to have that in there. But we may need to freshen it up for the readers! I’m not sure how much they’d like to hear about me just grinding him down until he proposed.

Jacs xxxxxxxxxxxx

TO DO:

Probably don’t recommend Jacki’s book to Steve.

October’s Classic Wedding!

ROMEO

Ah, Juliet, if the measure of thy joy

Be heap’d like mine and that thy skill be more

To blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath

This neighbour air, and let rich music’s tongue

Unfold the imagined happiness that both

Receive in either by this dear encounter.

JULIET

Conceit, more rich in matter than in words,

Brags of his substance, not of ornament:

They are but beggars that can count their worth;

But my true love is grown to such excess

I cannot sum up sum of half my wealth.

FRIAR LAURENCE

Come, come with me, and we will make short work;

For, by your leaves, you shall not stay alone

Till holy church incorporate two in one.

Romeo & Juliet

William Shakespeare

October 2nd (#ulink_fc9653de-74e4-586c-80bc-33b956f1160c)

Oh Christ. I think I’d forgotten that we’d really have to invite people to this shindig. Talked briefly with Thom about doing it just with family somewhere quiet, and his face lit up. ‘Yes!’ he said. ‘We can do it so cheaply!’ Then I remembered The Dress and mumbled something about us having to learn to be sociable. I’ve been working on it all morning, and so far I’ve got:

Me & Thom

Susie & Pete (if he’s in the country)

Twins

Mum & Dad

Thom’s Mum & Dad (Alan & Aileen) (10)

Eve & her +1 of doom

Jim and his +1

Alice (& Gareth?)