Doubting Abbey

‘The Baron of Marwick sure is tough competition,’ said Nick. ‘He also announced his plans to win this afternoon. The Castle has been set up to host weekend medieval hen and stag nights, with banquets held in the dungeons. I bet they’ll get pretty crazy. During the week, he’ll host corporate team-building trips, incorporating archery and shooting. It all sounds…’

I sighed. ‘Awfully sexy.’ Oops – that wasn’t something Abbey would ever say.

‘Yeah, but… A Croxley mixing it up with a gardener? Someone who works on the land?’ His eyes narrowed. ‘You can’t possibly be related to Lord Edward if you’re suggesting such a thing.’

I swallowed hard. Surely I hadn’t misjudged Nick so badly…

‘You’d better show me some form of ID, Miss,’ he said, ‘before I say something to the Earl.’

LORD EDWARD’S E-DIARY

Saturday 1

September

‘Comments’

6.15p.m. Thank you, but no, Lovehotnoble—rubber trim would probably be equally uncomfortable.

Now, duty calls – I must hurry to greet our guests. Just a quick word to say that Abigail… How long I’ve waited to see her face. I mean, erm, of course, it’s only been months since our last meeting, but nevertheless… To have her here finally… At Applebridge… It’s smashing.

Right. Anyway. Really must go. Dinner awaits.

Chapter 5 (#ulink_0eb9d863-14ff-5697-a2eb-db6ed5c3ae06)

Nick and I couldn’t stop laughing. Mega phew! For one minute I really believed he’d seen through my disguise and was after a peek at my passport.

‘Desperate times call for desperate measures,’ I said eventually. ‘But honestly, Nick, I perfectly understand if you think this idea…improper.’ After all, laughs aside, this was all an act to me but it was Nick’s real life – he could lose his job.

I caught sight of a designer logo on the bottom of his T-shirt and recognized his cologne as an expensive brand I’d once sniffed when out with a boyfriend. Nick struck me as a bit glam for a gardener.

‘Consider me in, Miss,’ he said.

‘You’re sure?’ I raised my eyebrows, giving him one last chance to back out. Although I could sense that, unlike Edward, a major drive in Nick’s life was fun; I reckoned we would really get along.

‘One hundred per cent!’ he said. ‘How do you suggest we get things started?’

‘Slowly.’ I backed up against the crimson-painted wall, as Nick had leant forward to keep our voices and plans ultra secret. ‘Perhaps a look here, a touch there – although, having said that, we only have two weeks.’ Footsteps sounded from the bottom of the staircase.

‘Better get things moving, then,’ whispered Nick. ‘A friend of mine knows a Z-list celebrity who trades off winding up photographers that he’s having all sorts of affairs. His specialty is this dud kiss – I can show you if you like. We’ll need to practice…’

Before I knew it, he’d placed a hand over my mouth and bowed forward to snog his knuckles. But still, it wasn’t a bad idea—from behind him it must have looked mega realistic. And Nick did smell good. It was a while since I’d been this close to a man, especially one who had no ulterior motive. With easy-going Nick, it felt kind of comfortable, until…. uh oh! I could hardly breathe now, seeing as he’d taken me by surprise and I’d had no time to fill my lungs with air.

‘Unhand her, you scoundrel!’ hissed Edward, who’d appeared from downstairs. He climbed the steps towards us, two at a time, appearing even taller than usual. Nick backed off immediately and I gasped for breath.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing, man?’ Eyes blazing, Edward grabbed the gardener’s shoulder. ‘Pack your things this instant and leave. I won’t have you disrespect my cousin!’

‘Look, Edward,’ I said, heart thumping, ‘let me explain…’ Wow, no one had ever rushed to my side to protect me. My brothers and dad thought me well capable of looking after myself—which I was. But still… This mansion must have brought out the damsel in me!

A few minutes later a snarl still crossed Edward’s lips as he stared at Nick. ‘Tell me that again, Cousin. And you’d better hurry up…’ He glanced at his watch. ‘It’s almost six-thirty. Our dinner guests have been shown in and are waiting for us.’

‘Nick, um, used to be a dental technician,’ I said, repeating the rapidly made-up excuse while trying not to ogle my supposed cousin in his tux. ‘One of my teeth was hurting and Nick very kindly agreed to take a look.’

Knights in shining armour were all very well, but jeez, Edward obviously didn’t believe in the process of verbal or written warnings before firing staff members. Although it was kind of sweet. My heart still beat madly. I’d always found loyalty to family and friends mega attractive.

I stared from Edward to Nick, who stood like two spitting hyenas. Perhaps they had more in common than I suspected. Yet, heroics aside, I reckoned Edward would be much harder to live with than laidback, up-for-a-laugh Nick.

‘Yep, Miss Croxley’s, erm, got an ulcer,’ said the gardener and folded his arms. ‘Seems like Your Lordship got the wrong end of the stick. So, if you’ll excuse me, I must change into my outfit to help out at dinner.’ Nick turned to me and winked. ‘I’d gargle with salt water, miss,’ he said, and disappeared up the stairs.

‘Was he bothering you?’ said Edward.

‘Not at all.’ I moved away from the wall and brushed down my dress.

‘Stay away from Nick,’ said Edward. ‘He’s a shifty chap.’

‘With respect, Cousin, who are you to order me around?’ Well, Abbey often demonstrated that being a lady wasn’t about being a doormat. It was awesome, listening to her on the phone if someone dared call pretending to be our energy company or acting as if they could give her a better mortgage deal.

Edward’s eyes narrowed. ‘There’s something in his expression—a total lack of respect.’

Yeah, well, not everyone’s in awe of the aristocracy.

‘Right, Abigail, let’s go downstairs,’ he said, his tone bringing an abrupt end to the incident. ‘Viscount Hamilton-Brown and his family have waited long enough…along with the camera crew and production staff,’ he added, a hint of resignation tainting his voice.

I took a deep breath. This dinner party was the first real test of whether I could behave like a lady. If I couldn’t get through this evening without embarrassing myself, then there was no point carrying on with the whole charade. We walked down to the ground floor and came to a door at the front right hand side of the house. It seemed strange, Nick going to the top floor to change, but Lady C had explained that, despite the phrase ‘upstairs and downstairs’, at different points in history it was nothing strange for servants to live ‘up in the gods’. In fact she’d crammed a lot of information into a few days, including a summary of European royals – ooh, of all the places to live, glam Monaco was now top of my list.

‘That’s the Low Drawing Room,’ said Edward. ‘Perhaps you remember it from your last visit.’

‘Cousin— I was only nine.’ Without asking, I ducked inside for a moment and spied furniture with carved animal legs – how amazin’! And just look at the mega detailed fireplace and classy chandelier… However, the spooky grandfather clock creeped me out and seemed better suited to the set of a haunted house horror film.

On closer inspection, I could see that the rugs were worn and wall carvings chipped. Plus the tiled floor was cracked, the tapestries faded and one corner of the ceiling showed signs of damp. It was like stepping back in time, what with no telly or computer and no comfy bean bag or gaming chair to chill out on.

‘This used to be where the Croxleys received run-of-the-mill guests,’ he said. ‘VIPs were received upstairs, in the High Drawing Room.’

‘Like who?’ I said.

‘Depends on the era— military men, politicians, foreign statesmen, people from the world of entertainment… Noel Coward, the playwright, visited my great-grandparents – like him, they adored jazz.’

We left the room and made our way down a dark mahogany-panelled corridor, eventually coming to another door, on the right.

‘That leads to the library,’ said Edward, ‘which is opposite…’ we entered a room on the left ‘…the Drake Diner.’

Wow. It stretched across the back of the house, with patio doors opening onto the cute courtyard. I gawped at the oak panelling all the way up to the ornate ceiling and admired the family coat of arms and gold-framed landscapes… I’d never been in a place like this without a ticket and tour guide. Feeling as out of place as a pop star at the Proms, I fiddled with my watch. Edward glanced sideways.

‘You look, um, quite satisfactory, Cousin,’ he said. ‘Come on—let me introduce you to our friends.’

Jeez, Edward was in no danger of overdoing the compliments! But I was beginning to realize that, with him, less was more. And at least he was no different with anyone else. This included the gushing Mrs Viscount – yes, I really did call her that – well, I’d never come across the word, apart from when Dad used to buy these wrapped minty chocolate biscuits. How was I supposed to know it was ‘Viscountess’? Edward announced that her brooch was ‘an interesting size’ and then commented on the Viscount’s ‘unusual’ tie. Yet a large dollop of charm did appear when he talked to their sophisticated daughter, the Honourable Henrietta Hamilton-Brown. Edward admired her brunette hair, swept up into a high bun. He said it looked ‘delightful’—then ruined it by chatting to her about the state of the Euro. Borrrrrring.

‘It’s super to meet some of your wider family, James,’ said the Viscountess to the Earl as we sat at the long dining table in padded tapestry chairs.