Promises in Paradise

Diane’s answering smile was faint. “That wasn’t it. He was just so…so…straight.” She struggled to find the right word. “He was nice and all that, but…”

She stopped and frowned, realizing she was about to make an honest confession that she would later have regretted. It didn’t help that in the middle of the nurse’s probing and her defensive dodging Hale Cameron again came to mind, disrupting her thoughts.

She was seeing Hale as he’d momentarily stood alone and unaware of being observed by her, or anyone, at the end of the gala in Baltimore. She was reminded of when he was nineteen, not long after he’d appeared in her life and become her nemesis.

He had a provocative, strongly defined physique on the cusp of becoming a man. He stood and moved his body in an arrogant posturing way back then, as if he were fully aware of his own assets but wanted to give the impression that he wasn’t. But sometimes, Diane recalled, when he didn’t know anyone was watching, Hale could seem almost shy, even awkward. That night a few weeks ago, she’d caught a glimpse of that same momentary uncertainty, all pretenses under wraps.

“I guess I’m too busy to concentrate on a relationship right now,” Diane said restlessly, forcing the memory to recede.

“That mean you’re coming alone to the holiday party?”

“I…have other plans,” she improvised.

“Then you should at least stop upstairs before you leave.”

“What’s upstairs?” Diane asked, again pulling out her BlackBerry to check for messages. She stood reading one, frowning over its contents.

“The kids’ party up on six. Santa’s coming in to meet them and give out presents.”

Diane turned off the phone. “I’m glad you reminded me. I have some things in my car.”

Pushing away from the counter, Diane walked toward the elevator. She spoke briefly to colleagues she met in passing, listening to excited plans for Christmas and New Year’s, and being asked about her own. She made them up as required.

Without stopping to get her coat, Diane left the building and walked to her car in the staff lot. It was a cold, overcast day, promising rain or snow. She opened the trunk of her car and removed a shopping bag from which protruded two gifts wrapped in kid-friendly holiday paper. She started back toward the building and then suddenly stopped midstride. Returning to her car, Diane opened the driver’s side and climbed in, shutting the door behind her. She absently placed the bag on the other seat, pulled out her phone and made a call. She sat with her eyes closed waiting for the connection, thinking about what she was going to say.

“Hi, Eva. It’s me.”

“Diane. Honey, is everything okay?”

“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you right away…”

“I know you’re very busy at the hospital but I worry when nearly a week goes by…”

Diane let her head drop back against the headrest and slouched in the seat.

“I know.” She sighed

“It’s just work, right?”

Diane gnawed on her lip, staring out beyond the windshield to the stark evidence of December and that-time-of-the-year.

“Yeah. Mostly,” she finally confessed.

There was a silence on the other end and Diane knew what was coming next. She’d hoped to avoid this conversation. Her father would have left it alone, never one to mix it up in her business. But her stepmother, in many ways, knew her better than Adam.

“I know what you’re going through right now. That’s why I want to know if you’ll be coming for Christmas. Bailey is driving me crazy asking every ten minutes when you’ll arrive.”

Diane smiled at the mention and image of her half sister.

“What should I tell her? And your father?”

She sighed. “Eva…I…don’t think I’ll make it down. I’ve waited so long to get a flight it’s going to cost me a fortune. Plus I have a couple of cases I have to keep close tabs on. Maybe I can see everyone for a weekend after the holidays are over. I mean, you live only a couple of hours from me.”

“That certainly hasn’t meant we see you any more frequently. Here’s the thing. We want to see you for the holidays, not after. We want you with us. Unless…are you going to stay with your mother this year?”

Diane shook her head even though Eva couldn’t see the action. “No, I’m not doing that.”

“I understand,” Eva murmured.

Diane knew that she did. Eva was kindness itself and would never dream of saying anything critical about Diane’s natural mother, even though it was common knowledge that Maron Fairchild was a bit of a drama queen.

“Listen. I know this is a difficult time for you, honey. One of the biggest family holidays of the year and you probably only remember Trevor telling you he’s leaving, two days before Christmas.”

Diane’s stomach roiled with exactly that memory…

At the end of a party they’d given. Their apartment had been jumping with wall-to-wall people, music and laughter. Most of their friends, an equal number of colleagues, his and hers, and even a few total strangers who’d somehow crashed. It was almost 2:00 a.m. when she’d closed the door on the last guest. Eva was wrong about one part of the story. Trevor had never told her he was leaving. After making a feeble attempt to clean up some of the debris and leftovers of their party she’d realized that it was suddenly very quiet and Trevor was nowhere to be seen.

“Trevor? Where are you? How about giving me a hand?”

She’d found him in their bedroom. Packing a suitcase.

Diane no longer remembered if he said anything just then or even what she’d said to him. But she would never forget his simple response to her annoyed accusation that he was being childish as he silently picked up the case, calmly walked to a hall closet and put on his coat. Finally, opening the apartment door.

“Goodbye, Diane.”

That was it.

You’ll hear from my lawyer had been posted in an e-mail to her several days later.

The echo of Trevor’s words still felt like a raw open wound. And just this week, a few days before Christmas, it felt worse believing she was destined to relive that awful moment, forever.

“I know you think that’s the reason, and I appreciate your concern, Eva. But the truth is, I do have some patients with serious issues.”

“I believe you but I don’t believe that means you can’t get away to spend Christmas with your family. Come down for just a few days. Leave the day after Christmas if you really have to.”

Diane silently chuckled. “You’re making me feel so guilty.”

“I hope so. You don’t need to be alone. You don’t need to punish yourself that way. Bailey is making all kinds of plans. Hayden keeps hinting at something in particular he’s sure you’re getting him. Adam wants to know if he needs to rent a second Jeep. We invited Simon and I think he’s coming, too.”

“Simon,” she repeated, surprised. “You’ll never see him. He’s going to be breaking hearts all over the island.”

“I know, but I trust your father to keep him in line, if that’s called for. And, honey, I really want to see you. Come home.”

Come home.

“I don’t want to make any promises…” Diane stopped and swallowed, stunned by the sudden lump in her throat and the uncharacteristic urge to cry. She cleared her throat. “Look…I took a moment to call you back so you wouldn’t think I was avoiding you…”

“But you were…”