Marriage by Contract

“Of course he’ll marry me,” she whispered in Christopher’s ear. “He’s already committed to as much.”

But he doesn’t know, a voice whispered inside her head. You have to tell him.

No!

Covering Christopher’s back with the flat of her hand, she lifted her face and closed her eyes. Please. I love Christopher. Let me have him. I’ll do anything. Please.

Please.

The cry of babies was her only answer.

She continued to walk with Christopher, occasionally laying a hand on another infant who seemed to need nothing more than a human touch. Christopher didn’t seem to mind sharing her. It was as if he knew she loved him more than anybody else.

It felt right that he was secure in her love. It was one of the reasons she’d come here every day since the night he was born. There had been times when she’d been sure that her will alone had kept him alive. Oh, she loved him so. In her heart he was hers already. Was it so wrong to want him to be hers in the eyes of the law?

She deserved to be his mother.

Didn’t she?

Beth closed her eyes for a minute, because she knew better than anybody that life wasn’t always fair. Happiness had nothing to do with justice, or merit, or divine rights. Everything came down to doing one’s best. And the best thing she could do, the only thing she could do, was tell Tony the truth.

* * *

Beth had been pacing back and forth in Tony’s small office for five minutes, rehearsing what she was going to say word-for-word. The instant she heard the door open, she stopped, her eyes trained on his framed medical license on the wall.

“Connie said you wanted to see me?”

With her heart in her throat, she turned around. Tony closed the door behind him, slowly running his hand down the length of his silk tie, waiting for her to tell him why she’d come.

Her eyes had been burning from lack of sleep all day, her conscience burning with the need to tell the truth. Suddenly, she didn’t know where to begin. Clasping her hands behind her back, she raised her chin and quietly said, “There’s something I have to tell you.”

He took a step closer and held up one hand. “If you’re about to tell me that you used to be a man, you can stop right there, because I’d never believe you. My instincts couldn’t be that far off.”

His attempt at humor sent a small smile to her lips and a tiny ray of hope to her heart. He really was a good man. Perhaps what she had to say to him wouldn’t alter his decision to marry her.

“You’re right about that,” she said quietly. “But there are other things you don’t know about me.”

He walked farther into the room, casually settling his hands on his hips. “I’m listening.”

She thought she detected a flicker of longing in his dark eyes. It added to the tiny ray of hope that had started to glow inside her. “Do you remember when you asked me what I’d wish for if I could have anything in the world?”

He nodded. “You told me you want Christopher.”

“Yes. But five years ago, one year ago, even six months ago, I would have said I wanted to have a child of my own.”

She paused, studying him. His expression changed, becoming serious. Taking a deep breath for courage, she surged on. “Acceptance came slowly, Tony. One day at a time over the past seven years, to be exact.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m not saying anything very well, but what I’m trying to tell you is that I can’t have children.”

Tony took a step back, his head coming up with the shock of discovery. Beth released the breath she’d been holding, her last ray of hope extinguished by the surprise, and then the realization, that crossed his face. As one moment stretched to ten, she lowered her gaze to the grip she had on the back of his leather office chair. She’d recognized the expression deep in Tony’s eyes. Her ex-husband, Barry, had worn the same look more than a year ago when the doctor had given them the results of all the tests, all the surgeries and attempts that had failed.

“Are you sure?”

Pulling her gaze from her white knuckles, she said, “I’m sure. I have a severe case of endometriosis. Believe me, I’ve tried everything, every way there is.”

A knock sounded on the door, breaking the silence that stretched tight between them. “What is it?” Tony said, his voice a low growl.

The receptionist poked her head into the office. Obviously aware of the tension in the room, her gaze swung from Tony to Beth and back again. “I’m sorry to bother you, Dr. Petrocelli, but there’s an urgent message for Bethany.” She turned her attention to Beth before continuing. “You’re to go to the employee lounge immediately.”

Slowly coming to her senses, Beth nodded, although the message didn’t make sense. Her nursing shift was over. Why would she be needed in the lounge? “Thanks, Connie,” she said. “Tell them I’ll be right there.”

Casting one last glance at the clear-cut lines of Tony’s profile, she said, “Let’s talk later!” Taking careful note of his slight nod, she followed the other woman from the room.

* * *

If Beth Kent had been thinking clearly, she would have known something was wrong. The corridor was unusually quiet, the door leading to the employee lounge closed tight, the blinds drawn. Feeling strangely disoriented, she turned the knob.

The sudden roar was deafening, the burst of lights blinding. Nearly everyone she worked with on a daily basis was huddled together in the small room, laughing expectantly.

“Surprise!”

“We gotcha!”

“You didn’t think we’d let you get married without throwing you a surprise shower, did you?” Kitty Garcia, the nurse who worked in the nursery, exclaimed in a thick Spanish accent and friendly brown eyes.

“She’s surprised, all right,” someone else declared. “Just look at her.”

Beth did her best to smile. They were right. Her surprise was completely genuine. If they knew the half of it, the joke would be on them.

Karen Sloane, one of the most loved resident doctors at Vanderbilt Memorial, looped her arm through Beth’s and said, “We didn’t know whether to throw you a baby shower or a wedding shower. Then we remembered who you were going to marry, and we knew exactly what kind of shower we had to have for you.”

Beth didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t even sure the wedding was still on now that Tony knew about her infertility. She bit her lip, shuddering inwardly at the thought.

“Come on, Beth,” Karen insisted with an understanding smile. “These people aren’t going to give up until you’ve opened every last gift.”

Beth had known Karen Sloane for years. They were alike in many ways, so alike, in fact, that they both tended to keep their problems to themselves. When Karen’s eight-year-old daughter had been trapped in a cave during the mud slide, the two women had found strength in their similarities. A friendship had formed in the days following the massive storm that rocked Grand Springs to its core, and although Victoria had been found, unharmed, there were still shadows in Karen’s gray eyes.

Kitty Garcia grasped both women’s hands and drew them into the center of the room. Winking mischievously at Beth, she said, “I can’t wait to see your face when you open the gift from me. You will be happy. Sí?”

Beth didn’t fully understand the reason for all the elbow jabbing and jovial laughter, but she said a silent prayer of thanks for the poise she’d learned as a child. Accepting the plate of food being pushed into one hand and the gift being pressed into the other, she pasted a smile on her face and pretended that everything was right with the world.

* * *

Tony’s chair creaked as he leaned back in it and tried to relax, but it was nothing compared to the sound it made when he jumped to his feet a second later. At this rate, he was going to wear the blasted thing out, which was exactly what he would do to the new carpet if he didn’t stop pacing.

His last patient of the day had canceled. It was a good thing. His concentration had been nil ever since Beth had told him that she couldn’t have children.