Comparative Strangers

‘To talk out this stupid mess, then put it behind us for ever,’ he said intensely. ‘For God’s sake, Manda, we have too much going for us to allow one idiotic slip on my part to come between us. After all, it’s you I want to marry, not some silly little slag.’

She heard herself say, ‘It’s not as simple as that …’ and heard yet another echo from her conversation with Malory.

‘But it is, or it could be if you’d let it.’ Nigel took a step towards her, his face darkening a little as she backed away. For a moment, a sharp tension enwrapped them both, then he relaxed deliberately, giving vent to a little sigh.

‘So, what do you want me to do?’ he demanded resignedly. ‘Plead with you? Grovel? Go on my knees? I will, if that’s what it takes. But just remember, Mandy, all this would never have happened if you’d been less of the icy little virgin.’

She’d been warned to expect this, but it was still a shock to hear the words on his lips.

She said, ‘Are you saying it’s my fault that you couldn’t stay faithful—even for a few weeks?’

‘It’s nothing to do with faithfulness, as such,’ he dismissed impatiently. ‘I just happen to have a very high sex-drive, and this look-but-don’t-touch thing of yours has been driving me up the wall. If I’d had you, darling, all the Clares in the world couldn’t have lured me away. Can’t you understand that?’

‘And if you’d really loved me as I thought, then it couldn’t have happened, either,’ Amanda said tiredly. ‘I don’t think we’re even talking about the same things. I’m sorry, Nigel, but I’ve stopped trusting you, and I can’t marry a man I can’t trust.’

He said, ‘Darling, you can’t mean that. I’ve apologised. What more can I do?’

‘There’s nothing.’ Tears were threatening again, and she lifted her chin. ‘I’d just like you to leave, please.’

Nigel was staring at her, as if he could not believe his ears. When he spoke, his voice sounded hoarse. ‘Now, listen, you little bitch! You’re not throwing me over like this. I’ll …’ He stopped abruptly as the kitchen door swung open with a small creak, and Malory walked into the hall.

He said dispassionately, ‘I think for once in your life you’re going to have to take “no” for an answer, Nigel. Why don’t you go?’

Nigel’s eyes narrowed as he looked from one to the other. ‘Well, this is all very cosy,’ he said tightly. He turned a glittering look on Amanda. ‘No wonder you were so well informed about the lovely Clare, darling. So, old Mal came whingeing to you, did he? I wondered why you’d just happened to turn up at precisely the wrong moment today.’

She was about to protest that he was wrong, that it hadn’t been like that, but realised in time that the truth might lead to explanations about the real reason behind her trip to Calthorpe that she would much rather keep secret, and her courage failed her.

She said, ‘That doesn’t matter now. Nothing matters. Just go—please.’

‘Leaving you to weep on each other’s shoulders? How very touching,’ Nigel said mockingly. ‘Like two ice-cubes meeting in a fridge. My God, you two could be the pairing of the century—the Virgin and the Stuffed Shirt!’ He sent them both a blazing look, then turned on his heel and strode to the front door. The whole cottage seemed to shake as he slammed it.

Amanda thought, I’ll remember this moment until the day I die.

She felt the pain uncurling, beginning to tear at her again, and heard Malory say gently, ‘Are you all right?’

Proudly, she raised her head. ‘Yes,’ she said.

CHAPTER TWO (#u46017f94-bfd2-516d-988b-1c30b65c64b3)

AMANDA SAID, ‘Why did you come back?’

‘In actual fact, I never went away.’

They sat facing each other across the kitchen table.

Malory went on, ‘I simply drove my car round to the back lane, and walked up through the kitchen garden.’

Amanda said stonily, ‘I asked you to leave. I thought you had left.’

He gave her a weary look. ‘Yes, I know, and you don’t need a minder, and you’re no longer suicidal. But that wasn’t all of it. I’d gathered you intended to give Nigel his marching orders, and I wasn’t sure how he’d take that. I wanted to make certain there was no—rough stuff.’

Colour rose hotly in Amanda’s face. ‘That’s an abominable insinuation to make!’

‘Then I withdraw it unreservedly,’ he said calmly. ‘Nigel would have taken your dismissal on the chin, and left like a lamb without my unwarranted intervention.’ He paused. ‘Wouldn’t he?’

Amanda bit her lip and didn’t reply. At last, she said curtly, ‘Hardly very dignified, skulking in someone’s kitchen. Supposing I’d come in and found you?’

He shrugged. ‘We’d be having this conversation then, rather than now.’

‘You think you have an answer for everything, don’t you?’ she said crossly.

He shook his head. ‘On the contrary. But I have had the advantage of knowing Nigel for the past twenty-six years, which gives me an insight into the way he’s likely to respond to any given situation.’ Another pause. ‘Which is why I don’t think you should be alone tonight.’

‘My God!’ Amanda’s brows lifted contemptuously. ‘You really believe in putting the boot in, don’t you? What do you imagine he’ll do? Come back and rape me?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘And if I say I don’t want you here?’ she bit back at him. ‘What then? After all, I hardly know you. For all I know, you might be planning to rape me yourself.’

‘How very true,’ he said. ‘What a fascinating night it promises to be.’ There was an icy distaste in his voice which got to her.

She mumbled, ‘I’m sorry. That was—a stupid thing to say. I’m still not thinking very clearly.’ She made herself meet his gaze. ‘But I can’t honestly put you to any more trouble. I—I’m sure you mean well …’ She stopped again. ‘Oh, God, that sounds even worse. What I’m trying to say is, you must have plans of your own for this evening, and I’ll be all right—really.’ It sounded lame, and she knew it, but she wasn’t even convinced herself. She was tense and on edge, emotionally vulnerable. The last thing she needed, or wanted, was to be alone.

She found herself saying reluctantly, ‘Although there is the spare bedroom …’

‘Then it’s settled.’ His tone was matter of fact, without a trace of smugness. ‘Now, let’s get down to practicalities. Did you leave your keys in the car, or were you planning to jump with them?’

She gaped at him for a moment. ‘Oh—they’re still in the ignition.’

He nodded. ‘Then I’d better walk down to the bridge and bring the car back, before someone takes a fancy to it. Shall I put it away for you in the garage?’

It had to be one of the most bizarre conversations she’d ever taken part in! She wondered crazily what he’d have done with the damned car if she had really jumped, then pulled herself together.

‘Er—yes, please.’ She paused. ‘And I’ll make a meal for us.’ Nigel had always been incredibly fussy about food, requiring even a simple steak to be cooked to the exact minute he specified. Perhaps it was a family trait. ‘Have you any particular likes or dislikes?’

He said politely, ‘I don’t think so. Whatever’s going will be fine.’

Neutral could well be his middle name, Amanda thought crossly when he’d gone.

Her mother invariably left the refrigerator stocked as if for a siege, and Amanda extracted some lamb chops and the ingredients for a salad, before scrubbing two large potatoes, wrapping them in foil, and putting them in the Aga to bake.

She wondered whether Malory would expect to be entertained formally in the dining-room, and decided to pre-empt the issue by laying the kitchen table.

She still wasn’t sure why he was staying, or why she was allowing it, but she had a feeling it was going to be a long, awkward evening. Perhaps a drink might ease the situation, Amanda thought, although he’d probably opt for a small, dry sherry. She decided she’d better go along to the drawing-room, and see what there was. As she went through the hall, the telephone rang.

Her heart sank. Mother, she thought. Somehow, she was going to have to break the news that all the wedding arrangements undertaken so far were going to have to be cancelled. She only hoped Mrs Conroy hadn’t bought her outfit yet.

Sighing, she lifted the receiver and gave the number. But, instead of the excited rush of feminine chatter she’d expected, she found herself greeted by a profound silence. Puzzled, she gave the number again, and jiggled the rest. But the silence continued.