The Innocent's Shameful Secret

However, it seemed as if the marriage was surviving, which was some relief.

‘It is you that she wants. Again and again she says it, and she weeps.’ His tone became eager. ‘If you would come here—be with her for a while—she would soon be better. I know it. And there is a room for you here with us. I prepared it in hope.’

She was shocked into silence. And disbelief.

Rhymnos, she thought. He actually thinks I can go back to Rhymnos? After everything that happened? He must be crazy.

‘No,’ she said at last, her voice harsh. ‘That’s impossible. You know it is. I—I’m needed here.’

‘But things are different now,’ he persisted. ‘You have nothing to fear, sister. People have gone,’ he added, his voice heavy with meaning. ‘The island has changed. You will be safe here. Safe with us.’

I thought I was safe before. Believed Millie was the one in danger. Yet I was the one to be betrayed and I still have the scars.

He went on quickly, ‘And my Amelia wants so badly to see you—to be with you. I cannot bear for her to be disappointed.’

No, she thought. That’s how it all began. Because Millie mustn’t be disappointed. Because two of her classmates were having a holiday in Greece, for the first time without their parents, and asked her to go with them. And she cried when Aunt Nora said, ‘At seventeen? Absolutely not.’

Tears on their own probably wouldn’t have worked, but reinforcements arrived in the shape of Mrs Raymond, mother of Daisy, whose idea the trip had been, and, in her way, as formidable as Aunt Nora.

‘I think one has to allow them some independence at their age,’ she’d pronounced majestically. ‘Demonstrate that we trust them. After all, they’ll all be off to university next year.’

Daisy and Fiona, perhaps, Selena had thought drily. Millie—only if she started doing some work.

‘And Rhymnos is only small and quiet, not crowded with nightclubs, which means fewer opportunities for mischief,’ Mrs Raymond had added. ‘The hotel, too, is family run and has a good reputation. The girls are so keen for Millie to go with them, and she’s bound to be disappointed if she’s left behind. Besides, there’s safety in numbers, you know.’

It all sounded too good to be true, Selena had thought with sudden unease, hoping that Aunt Nora would stick to her guns.

But, albeit reluctantly, she’d eventually agreed, leaving Selena to shrug and decide it was none of her business.

Which only proved how wrong it was possible to be.

Because, suddenly and incredibly, it had become her business, turning her entire life upside down.

Kostas was speaking again. ‘If it is a matter of cost, I shall happily pay the airfare to Mykonos, and the ferry transfer. I ask only that you come to us—for Amelia’s sake. She hopes so much to see you.’

She said crisply, ‘That was hardly the impression she gave when we last spoke.’

He sighed. ‘But in all families, sister, things are said in anger and then regretted. And I am relying on your compassion for a sick girl.’

Selena bit her lip. Put like that, she thought, she could hardly refuse. And yet she was aware again of that odd sense of unease. Although, he’d said things had changed...

But I haven’t changed, she thought. I know that now. And perhaps I never will until I have the courage to face my demons and put them finally to rest. And maybe that time has come.

She took a deep, painful breath. ‘Very well, Kostas, I’ll come as soon as I can get a flight—which I will pay for myself, thanks all the same. I’ll be in touch when I have the details.’ She added, ‘And wish Millie well for me.’

She occupied the rest of her day with some heavy duty housework, trying to ignore the small voice in her head telling her that she’d clearly learned nothing from her past mistakes and was, once again, behaving like an idiot.

Because she knew how doubtful it was that Millie would make the same concessions for her, if their positions were reversed.

But she could probably live with herself, she thought drily. Whereas I couldn’t—especially if this illness of hers turns out to be something really serious.

And, in that case, what kind of medical attention could Millie expect in so small a place?

If she needs to come back to England with me, I’ll deal with it, even if it means finding an even bigger place.

She decided to have an early night, in view of all she had to do the following day, hoping, too, that sleep would silence that little warning voice—at least for a while.

As she undressed, she embarked on a mental list of what she’d need to take with her to Rhymnos, remembering that the high summer temperature could soar to forty degrees plus.

Reaching for her nightdress, she glimpsed herself in the wall mirror and paused, wondering if the events of the past year had altered her in any significant way. But, apart from her severely shorn hair, her critical gaze could see no real change. Her breasts were still high and rounded, her waist small, her stomach flat and her hips gently curved.

I look, she told herself ironically, almost untouched. And found her laugh turning into a sob.

* * *

She spent a wretched, restless night and was sorely tempted, when her radio alarm went into action, simply to silence it, pull the covers over her head and stay where she was.

The coward’s way out, she thought wryly as she swung her feet to the floor and headed to the shower.

Her first visit was to the letting agency, to register her new requirements, followed by a wander round a cheap and cheerful fashion store which still had a few pairs of cotton cut-off pants, tee shirts and even a one-piece swimsuit available in her size and within her limited budget.

Working on the premise that she wasn’t sure how long her stay would last or if she’d be returning alone, she booked a single flight at the travel agency, and bought some euros, knowing she would have to use them carefully because she could afford no more.

But her most difficult task was still ahead of her, she reminded herself as she emerged into the street, subjecting her, no doubt, to more disapproval and more pressure. Except this time, she’d have a positive response to make. An actual workable plan for the future.

She heard her name called and turning saw Janet Forbes coming towards her smiling.

‘I’m glad I’ve seen you,’ she said. ‘I was planning to get in touch anyway and have a chat, over an iced coffee maybe, or are you too busy?’

‘No, that would be great.’

They went to a cafe with a veranda overlooking the river, its banks busy with families sunbathing, eating ice cream and feeding the ducks.

‘I wanted to say how delighted I am that we’ll be working together again next year,’ Mrs Forbes began as they sipped their coffees under the shade of the awning.

‘Megan was a nice girl and very conscientious, but I always felt that she was simply filling in time. Whereas you...’

She paused. ‘I wondered if you’d ever considered getting a BEd and becoming a teacher yourself, because I’d say you were a natural.’ She added swiftly, ‘Not that I want to lose you, of course. Please don’t think that.’

Selena was all set to declare herself perfectly happy with her lot. Instead, to her own astonishment, she heard herself say, ‘I did start training but got no further than the second year.’ She forced a smile. ‘Family problems.’

‘Well, that’s a great shame.’ Mrs Forbes gave her a thoughtful look. ‘You could always go back to it, you know. It’s never too late to start again.’

That, Selena thought, is what I keep telling myself. Maybe it’s time I believed it.

‘One day, perhaps,’ she said. ‘I mean, I’d love to, but right now I have—other priorities.’

‘Well, do bear it in mind for the future.’ Mrs Forbes got to her feet, collecting her bags. ‘I hate to see talent wasted.’ She patted Selena on the shoulder. ‘Maybe when your family problems are behind you.’