‘How old is baby Stacy?’ I asked, trying to change the subject.
‘Are you kidding me?’ continued Mrs Bowyer, undeterred. ‘My mother-in-law is Doris Bowyer. Her and Miss Loopy Loo Elena have been under the thumb of Martha Bunyard for years, though in truth Doris is no better than she ought to be. And then you come along, same age as all of us, your first month in the village and it’s a bloody revolution.’
‘That’s a huge exaggeration,’ I said, trying to laugh it off.
‘Don’t be modest, Nurse. I can tell you’re not going to be snooty like some of them. I think you should stick to your guns – don’t let them old biddies rule the roost.’
‘She’s quite right, Nurse,’ said Mrs Bourne softly. ‘They needed taking down a peg or two. Would it be greedy to have a tiny bit more cake?’
‘With pleasure,’ I said, giving her another slice. ‘I could make some apple cake another time.’
‘You can come again,’ said Mrs Bowyer, winking. She looked at her watch, ‘Gosh, it’s nearly 12. Better get back to do the lunch or Trev the Rev will be giving me my marching orders,’ she said with a chuckle, retrieving Stacy from the corner where she’d dragged her mother’s handbag and emptied out lipstick, face powder, loose change and tampons. Mrs Bowyer shook her head and started putting her paraphernalia back in the bag. ‘Oh no! My pill’s gone. Stacy, what have you done?’ she cried, opening up her child’s mouth with a finger. ‘Nurse, Nurse. I think she’s gobbled my pill.’
‘Contraceptive pill?’
‘Yes. What’ll happen to her?’
‘She should be fine. But let’s ask the doctor to check her out. He’ll probably tell you to keep a close eye on her for 24 hours.’
She nodded. ‘You must think we’re a right load of Calamity Janes,’ she said without her usual giggle, her forehead furrowed.
‘Not in the least,’ I said. ‘Come over to clinic with me now and we’ll call the doctor and get him to see Stacy straight away.’
‘Thanks, Nurse. Whatever they say, I like you,’ Mrs Bowyer assured me.
‘You’re not still taking your contraceptive pill are you, Mrs Bowyer?’
‘No, I haven’t got round to chucking ’em away from before we started trying for Stacy,’ she laughed. ‘Mind I wish I had been taking them, though now this one is on the way, it’ll be very welcome.’
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