First Time in Forever

“Three years. Two of which we lived together.”

“Life really has dealt you a hand.” His gaze was steady. Sympathetic. “I just want you to know I’m here for rebound sex or revenge sex whenever you need it. Just say the word. Or just grab me and explain afterward, whatever works for you.”

She wouldn’t have thought it possible to want to laugh at that moment, but she did. “Did you really just say that?”

“I really did. Want to think about it?”

The crazy thing was she had thought about it. What woman wouldn’t? Ryan Cooper was insanely attractive. If all you were looking for was a night you’d never forget, he’d be the perfect choice. “I’m trying to be a responsible parent figure. I’ve already lost the bear. I think being caught having sex on the kitchen table would be a major fail.”

“Possibly. So, just to clarify—the only thing that’s stopping you is that your niece is asleep in the living room?”

“I can’t believe I’m laughing. What is there to laugh about?”

“In my experience laughing always helps. So, what’s your plan?”

“I got myself here. So far, that’s it. I need to lie low while I work out what is best for Lizzy.”

“And what about you?”

Her mouth was dry. “What about me?”

“You didn’t sign on for this. It wasn’t your choice.” Something about the way he said it made her wonder if there was more to his comment than an astute observation.

“It wasn’t a choice for either of us.”

“I presume you chose the name ‘Lizzy’ because you’re worried Juliet might draw attention.”

“It’s not a common name, and right now it’s in the press a lot, so I thought it safer not to use it.”

“Good decision. While the story is hot, the fewer people who make the connection, the better.”

“But you know.” As the implications of that struck her, she had to force herself to breathe. “What are you going to do with the information? The media would pay good money for a photo of Lana’s child.”

“Do I look like I need to sell a story to the media?” His mild tone coated layers of steel, and she squirmed because it seemed an uncharitable accusation, given he’d been nothing but helpful.

“I’m sorry. That was inexcusable. But I don’t know you. And I don’t know her, either.”

“You know she likes chocolate milk and waffles.”

She gave a wan smile. “Small steps.”

He stood up. “Life is made of small steps. Let’s start by clearing up the eggs before you slip. Breaking both your legs and knocking yourself unconscious isn’t going to make the future easier.”

“The eggs were for tomorrow’s breakfast.”

“I’ll bring you breakfast. I’ll be around at nine. Don’t leave the cottage until I get here. That’s the next twelve hours sorted. After that, we’ll plan the next twelve hours. You can get through a life like that.” With an efficiency that surprised her, he cleaned up the mess and stowed the contents of the bags while Emily went to check on Lizzy.

She found her asleep, still clutching Andrew.

“She’s exhausted. I should put her to bed.”

“I’ll carry her upstairs.” Ryan was behind her, and she shook her head.

“I can do it.”

“Are you sure?” He eyed her frame. “You don’t look strong enough.”

“Careful. You’re starting to sound like a fairy-tale prince. Just for the record, I’m capable of storming my own castle.” She scooped Lizzy up in her arms and headed upstairs. She weighed more than Emily had expected, but she would rather have sprained her back than admit it to Ryan Cooper.

She lowered Lizzy to the bed, pulled off the little girl’s shoes, tucked Andrew next to her and covered child and bear with the quilt. Then she stood, looking down at the feathery lashes brushing pale cheeks, and felt overwhelmed by the responsibility.

This wasn’t temporary. This wasn’t just for a few days or even the summer.

This was forever.

Subduing the panic, she stepped away from the bed. She couldn’t think about forever.

She returned to the kitchen to find Ryan opening cupboards. “What are you looking for?”

“Wine?” He paused. “Or maybe you don’t drink.”

She knew he was thinking of her mother. “I drink. But I stop. Unfortunately wine wasn’t one of the things I grabbed in my two-minute raid of Harbor Stores.”

“Will coffee keep you awake?”

“I don’t sleep, anyway.” She was afraid to close her eyes in case something happened.

And now she had Lizzy in the bed with her.

“So, which is the worst part of all this? The boyfriend, the job or the kid?” He reached for a coffeepot while she found two mugs and put them down on the counter.

“Definitely the child.”

“Not the boyfriend?”

“It would have ended eventually.”

“Commitment phobia?”

“In a way.”

“Plenty of men suffer from the same affliction.”

“I was talking about me. I end all my relationships.”

He gave her a curious look. “I would never have cast you in the role of serial heartbreaker.”

“I try and disguise it. I sand the bedpost to hide the notches.”