Sarah Morgan Summer Collection

‘I know. Justifiably so.’ He didn’t smile. ‘And now, Kyla? Are you still angry?’

‘I’m not sure. I keep going over our conversations and wondering how many of them were just about detective work for you.’

His hand dropped to his side. ‘Is that what you think? That my relationship with you was just a means to finding out about Catherine?’

‘You asked me about her in the pub that night.’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘She was your sister and yet you were asking me about her and I answered without knowing who you were or why you were asking. And I can’t help wondering if I said something that I shouldn’t have said.’

‘She was my stepsister and I wanted to find out who she was,’ he said quietly. ‘I didn’t know her. The woman I knew would never have settled in a place like this. The Catherine I knew was selfish and didn’t think of anyone but herself. I wanted to hear you talk about her. And I wanted to hear you talk without knowing who I was because I didn’t want my relationship with Catherine to influence your answer. I was trying to understand.’

‘In that case, you should speak to Logan because obviously he knew her the best.’

‘But different people see different things in a person.’

It was very much like something that Evanna would have said, and suddenly she wondered whether she’d been too hard on him. ‘You want me to tell you more about Catherine?’ She thought for a moment, trying to crystallise thoughts and images into something that would paint the picture he was looking for. ‘She was—a bit wild, I suppose. She liked doing mad, crazy things. She flirted with every man she met. She was impossible to pin down and unreliable at social engagements. She wore pink shoes and high heels to the pub when it was pouring with rain and she never remembered to take a coat with her. But she was excited by life and enthusiastic about the island. She loved the beaches and Logan taught her to sail.’

‘Was she pleased to be pregnant?’

‘Oh, yes. She kept talking about family.’ Kyla swallowed as she remembered. ‘She kept saying that she was going to do it right this time, but when I asked her what she meant by that, she’d never tell me. I suppose I know now. Her death was a tragedy. It affected Logan very badly.’

‘I can imagine.’

‘She suddenly became ill but the weather on the island was so bad we couldn’t transfer her for a few hours and the delay was critical. The hospital didn’t think that the outcome would have been any different but Logan has always blamed himself.’ She gave a sad smile. ‘He hates obstetrics now and he always refuses to do home births.’

‘You can hardly blame him for that.’

Kyla thought of her brother and her heart ached. ‘I don’t blame him for anything. But I know he blames himself. He carries it with him all the time.’

‘Having seen your brother work, I know that he would have done everything that could have been done, and he did more for Catherine than anyone else had ever done for her in her life. I wish I could have known the Catherine that she became.’ Ethan’s voice was gruff with emotion. ‘When I read that letter I felt a tremendous sense of loss. Not for what we had, but for what I sensed we could have had. Those early years were too traumatic for both of us and we were too young to be able to adapt. You describe a Catherine who was happy and yet I’d never known her that way. So I wanted to come and see for myself. I suppose although it was too late to change my relationship with her, it wasn’t too late to alter the picture in my head. I wanted to change my memories. I wanted to understand her.’

‘And have you done that?’

‘I’m getting there.’ He stared across the sea, his expression distant. ‘I’m definitely getting there.’

‘And you told Logan who you are?’

‘Yes. He seemed pleased that Kirsty has more family.’ Ethan’s mouth flickered into a self-deprecating smile. ‘Which just goes to show that they know me less well than you do. I’m not sure that I’m going to be the right sort of family for Kirsty.’

Kyla frowned. ‘What do you mean, the right sort of family? Family is family. None of us is perfect but we all do the best we can and we’re all there for each other.’

He turned to look at her. ‘But that’s the bit I’m not so good at, isn’t it? Family, for me, has been no more than a word, but for you it’s a way of life. Your family is reliable and sticks around no matter what. Your family shares. I’m no good at any of those things. I’m used to packing my bags and living where I want to live without thinking about another person’s needs or happiness. I’m used to not needing anyone and to not being needed.’

Kyla looked at him, wondering what it must feel like to be so disconnected from the people around you. ‘That sounds a lonely way to live your life, Dr Walker,’ she whispered, and his eyes lingered on hers.

‘It’s the only way I know.’

‘Feeling needed is good, and needing someone is good, too. For me, it’s what life is all about.’ She looked into his eyes and she willed him to kiss her the way he’d kissed her in the dawn light at the ruined castle. But he didn’t move. He simply stood there, his eyes on her face, as if searching for something that he couldn’t quite find.

And then he thrust his hands in his pockets and turned and headed across the beach and back to the cottage.

So this was how it felt, Kyla thought bleakly, blinking furiously to clear her vision. This was how it felt to be heartbroken.

Now she knew.

And the pain was worse than she could possibly have imagined.

‘So that was it?’ Evanna frowned at Kyla from across the best table in the cafе. It was right in the window and had a perfect view of the ferry and the quay. ‘He didn’t say anything about the two of you?’

‘Nothing.’ Kyla stabbed her triple chocolate ice cream with the tip of her spoon, wondering why she felt so totally flat and dejected. ‘I really need to pull myself together. I’m being pathetic.’

‘And what about you? Didn’t you say anything to him?’

‘What was I supposed to do? Beg?’ Kyla frowned and lifted the spoon to her mouth, but the cold chocolate hit did nothing for her. ‘I do have some pride, Evanna.’

‘But he doesn’t know how you feel.’

‘I think it’s his own feelings that are the problem,’ Kyla said gloomily, putting the spoon down and staring out of the window as the ferry pulled away from the dock on the start of its crossing to the mainland. ‘You said that the man had issues, and you’re right. The man has issues.’

‘And you’re going to let that stop you?’

Kyla pushed the ice cream away from her. ‘What do you suggest? That I hang a banner on the front of my cottage, declaring my intentions?’

Evanna grinned. ‘In the old days you would have carved his name on your desk. ‘K loves E. And Miss Carne would have put you in detention.’

‘I feel as though I’m in permanent detention.’

Evanna reached across the table and squeezed her hand. ‘It’s not like you to give up. What’s he going to do now, do you know? Is he leaving?’

‘He hasn’t said.’ Kyla gave a humourless laugh. ‘That would be giving something away, wouldn’t it? And Ethan never gives anything away. I dare say the first I’ll know of it is when Jim tells me he’s driven that flash car of his onto the ferry.’

‘You need to speak to him.’

‘I have my pride.’

Evanna sighed. ‘Pride isn’t going to keep you warm on a cold winter’s night, Kyla MacNeil. You need to think about that next time you’re lying in the bed on your own, staring up at the ceiling. Now, eat your ice cream. If there’s one thing a girl needs at a time like this, it’s chocolate. Lots of it.’

Kyla was in clinic the next morning when Aisla came in.

‘I came to thank you. If you hadn’t thought that Fraser might be in the dungeon, goodness knows what might have happened.’

Kyla smiled. ‘I’m just glad we found him and that everything was all right. Logan said that the CT scan was fine.’

‘They think he has concussion. Apparently he might suffer from headaches for a bit and I need to keep an eye on him, but they don’t think there’s any serious injury. And Dr Walker looked at his wound this morning and seemed to think that it was healing nicely. I still can’t believe he climbed down into that filthy, dark dungeon for my Fraser.’

‘He’s a brave man. A good doctor.’

Aisla sighed. ‘He’ll be a loss to the island.’

Kyla felt her mouth dry. ‘A loss?’