We Were Young and at War: The first-hand story of young lives lived and lost in World War Two

28 May 1941

Sure enough, he didn’t say anything special. We have to wait, and wait, and wait—it’s enough to make a person mad, listening to this empty blabber. Here, the statistics are showing an incredible increase in the numbers of children and young people with TB but, over there, they wait and see. To hell with them!

15 June 1941

This sadist, this moron, Rumkowski, is doing terrible things. He sacked two Communist teachers. The stated reason: they were organizing a teachers’ protest. The likely real reason: alleged Communist activities at school. We are keeping a low profile and taking our leaders’ advice not to organize any meetings for a week or two. There’s a risk of expulsion, they might even shut the school down.

28 June 1941

A very difficult problem today, it has upset me a lot. Niutek Radzyner told me that, since all the Party’s work in the ghetto has been suspended, a core group will meet in great secrecy, consisting of people dedicated to the cause, body and soul, to the exclusion of everything else. They are to be at the disposal of the party for any action. There are to be five members, chosen after long consideration. I am among the candidates and Niutek openly asked me what I thought about it. I was so surprised and worried that I couldn’t give him an answer today. I put it off till tomorrow. After thinking it over I’ve come to the following conclusion: although I am absolutely certain of my views and ideals, a professional, extreme revolutionary activity is not my goal in life and I wouldn’t be capable of taking part in something like’death battalions’. For my reply, I’ve decided to say that in the case of a specific action I am ready to take an active part at the decisive moment, but that regular, professional activity, being constantly in danger—excluding all other goals, ideals and concerns—is out of the question.

29 June 1941

I told Niutek about my decision at school today. He himself is taking a different course, but he understood and accepted my explanation.