A Baby To Save Their Marriage

It lit a fuse in her. How dared he? Didn’t he know what she’d just been told? Didn’t he understand how worried she was?

Of course he didn’t. She hadn’t told him yet.

And at some point she’d need to.

Just not yet. Not until she knew.

She didn’t want to tell him about the pregnancy. She didn’t want to tell him about the scary news. She didn’t need her husband to feel sorry for her. She needed him to love her. To love her enough to feel as if he could be there and support her.

Telling him about the pregnancy right now could make him tell her everything would be fine. And knowing Caleb, he’d probably think it would be. Then he’d go right home and start working hundred-hour weeks again.

She needed more than that. She needed more for this marriage.

‘How can everything be a fight when you’re never there?’

He sighed. ‘You work too. There’s been nights when you’ve been busy too. There have been events you’ve had to go to—people you’ve had to meet.’

She nodded her head. ‘You’re absolutely right. But the difference between you and me is that, when I know I’m going to be out at night, I make sure I’ve spent time with Tristan during the day.’

‘That’s easy for you to do.’

‘Actually, it isn’t. But I make the time.’

She bit her lip. Everything was a fight between them right now. And she hated that.

‘Always fault-finding, always criticising. Can I ever do anything right in your eyes these days?’

And it looked as if this was going to become a fight too.

Trouble was, she was just too tired for this. She wasn’t sure if it was the travel that had exhausted her, or the pregnancy. She could remember at this stage in her pregnancy with Tristan she’d come home from work and go straight to bed. In those days, Caleb would just come to bed with her.

She turned away. She just wanted to sleep now. She couldn’t even be bothered changing out of her swimsuit.

‘You gave me an ultimatum.’ His voice was quiet, almost whispered. It was as if he was still getting over the shock. ‘Why would you do that? It was just straight out of the blue.’

She stopped walking. Her hand was on the door. From here she could see that Tristan was already sleeping. She hadn’t even got around to putting the DVD on. That was fine. She would just climb in next to him.

She kept her voice low too. ‘It wasn’t out of the blue, Caleb. This has been building for the last few years. We’ve slipped away from each other—we’ve lost each other...’ her voice started to break ‘...and I’ve had enough. I can’t live like this any more because I don’t feel as if I’m living.’

She glanced over her shoulder. ‘This is it for us, Caleb. I chose this place deliberately because I didn’t want Tristan and I to compete with your work any more. Some people think this place is paradise. You? I think you’ve barely noticed. We came here because I wanted to see if we had anything left worth saving. Because right now—I just don’t know.’

She took one final look. He looked as if she’d just punched him in the guts.

So she turned, and went to bed.

CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_52bab469-7d59-5e82-a887-451dc7570247)

CALEB COULDN’T SLEEP. He should be sleeping after twenty hours’ travel and staying up since they’d arrived but after the conversation with Addison, sleep was nowhere near him.

It felt as if she’d stuck a knife into his chest and twisted it.

But more importantly it was obvious that she didn’t think this marriage could be saved. How on earth had he reached this point? Had he been sleepwalking through life not to have noticed how his wife felt?

Tristan and Addison were sleeping in one of the double beds together. He’d tried to sleep in the other with no success. Then, he’d tried the bed in the water bungalow. But the gentle lap, lap of the water underneath had only kept his mind buzzing. In the end, he’d ended up on the beach.

They’d probably spent a fortune on this holiday and he was sleeping like a beach bum. But the air seemed stiller out here. And although there was still a background noise from the lapping waves, it didn’t seem as amplified out here.

He couldn’t sleep because he was gripped with panic. Panic that life as he knew it was just about to slip through his fingers.

Work was still preying on his mind. At one point in the middle of the night he’d actually opened his computer and started working on something. But after half an hour he’d realised the futility of his actions. By the time he’d got home Harry would have worked on another version of this. It made no sense for him to do the same thing. But that didn’t stop his fingers drumming on the table in irritation.

He couldn’t help it. Working had almost become a compulsion—an addiction. How sad was that?

He wasn’t sure he even knew how to relax any more. Just sitting annoyed him. His brain constantly revolving, thinking about the work-related things he could be doing.

Part of him was angry at Addison for forcing this on him.

Part of him understood the point she was trying to make. If he had an Internet connection he probably wouldn’t have seen the sun set or rise again. He probably wouldn’t have watched the fishes swimming underneath the glass panel under the coffee table.

He probably wouldn’t have had time to wonder what he could say to his wife to make her change her mind.

She seemed different. Distant. As if she had a hundred other things that she wasn’t saying to him. And to be honest, what she’d already said felt like enough. He didn’t know how he’d cope if she said any more.

A waiter appeared at the beach bungalow carrying a large tray. Breakfast. Was it that time already?

Caleb nodded as the man set the loaded tray down in the kitchen and left again. Eggs, bacon, croissants and breakfast cereal for Tristan. Addison must have pre-ordered all this. He glanced into the bedroom. They were still sleeping.

He jumped in the shower and quickly changed. He wasn’t sure quite what Addison expected today. He hadn’t paid enough attention; he didn’t even know what there was to do around here.

He stood at the bedroom door for a minute. Even sleeping, she looked stressed. The bedclothes were all messed up and it was obvious she’d tossed and turned all night. That wasn’t like her. Addison used to sleep like the dead. He used to joke that a marching band could come through their house in the middle of the night and she wouldn’t hear it.

Tristan was lying halfway across his mother’s chest in his superhero pyjamas. Caleb’s heart gave a squeeze. When was the last time he’d had a chance to see them like this?

It had been too long. She was right about the Christmas carol stuff. He’d had every intention of being there. But just as he’d been about to leave he’d received an emergency call from Singapore. One of their investors had taken unwell and he’d been asked to contact the family urgently. It had taken fourteen phone calls to track down his son and by the time he’d finally left the office Tristan’s concert was already finished. He’d sat in the car park outside, looking at the darkened building and cursing himself that he hadn’t got there on time.

He walked over to the bed and gave Tristan a little shake. ‘Hey, superhero. Wake up. It’s breakfast time and we’ve got a beach to play on.’

Bing. Just like that he was wide awake. He jumped down from the bed and ran through to the bathroom. Addison’s eyes flickered open. Just for a second she looked fine. Then, whatever it was that was on her mind seemed to come flooding in again. He could almost see the shutters coming down.

‘Breakfast is here,’ he said. ‘I’ll take Tristan through.’

She gave a nod and turned away, climbing out of the bed and slipping on her dressing gown. This wasn’t how they used to wake up. Before Tristan, some days they hadn’t got up at all. When Tristan was a baby they used to bring him in beside them in the morning. He’d coo and smile quite happily, with not a single bit of guilt that he’d kept them up most of the night.

But those days were long gone. Caleb got up at five these days and was in the office for six. He didn’t even recognise the breakfast cereal sitting on the kitchen table. He picked it up and stared at it.

‘My favourite!’ shouted Tristan, pulling himself up onto one of the chairs. ‘What’s the toy?’

‘Let’s see,’ said Caleb, sitting down next to him and opening the pack. A horrible plastic spider dropped out onto the table. Tristan let out a shriek and jumped up laughing. Caleb started laughing too. Within a few minutes the breakfast cereal was scattered everywhere and the bowls upturned as they played ‘catch the spider’.