Chaos Descends

Petulant, Finn stepped to a switch on the wall.

“Don’t,” said his father.

Finn pressed the switch anyway.

From a point at the mirror’s dead centre, the reflection cleared, like condensation evaporating from a window, until the full length of the wall became completely see-through. On the other side, two rows of seats were revealed, packed with a couple of dozen people. Some in a variety of fighting suits. Some in just ordinary suits. One wore an all-in-one bodysuit of shimmering blue scales. There was even a family there, a mother and father watching in wide-eyed delight, while their teenage son gazed on with a look of such boredom it would be a wonder if his face ever found the muscles to smile again.

“Half the Half-Hunter population is watching me,” said Finn, pointing at the audience behind the glass. They had won tickets in a raffle: the chance to see the apprentice train before the Completion Ceremony.

“It’s tradition,” Hugo said. “They get to see you.”

“Yes, but I don’t want them to see everything,” said Finn, jabbing his thumb at the tear in the back of his shorts before heading for the door.

Hugo pulled the helmet from his head. “Should we take a break at this point?”

On the other side of the mirror, the Half-Hunter in blue scales shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Yes,” sighed Hugo. “Let’s take a break.”

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With a shake of his head, humiliation complete, Finn marched up the corridor, past the paintings of all those Legend Hunters who had gone before him, ignoring the judgemental glare of his famously unhappy great-grandfather, Gerald the Disappointed. The further up the corridor he went, the older the portraits became, until the earliest paintings had faded into faces made unrecognisable by peeling paint. It was a constant reminder of how long Finn’s family had been Darkmouth’s Legend Hunters.

He reached the hallway, where a narrow door brought him into the stark contrast of a house as ordinary as any other in Darkmouth. Apart from one thing: all the people at the windows. Outside were the Half-Hunters who hadn’t won tickets to see him train. The flash of cameras. The dark flicker of silhouettes crossing the garden.

“It’ll all be over soon,” said Finn’s mother, Clara, as she arrived from the living room on her way to the stairs. “But not soon enough. Hold on, you’re wearing shorts.” She looked through the door to the Long Hall, where Half-Hunters were gathering their things to leave. “Your father’s fault, right? Did training not go well?”

Finn bit his lip.

“Just remind yourself it won’t be like this for ever,” Clara said, putting an arm round his shoulder. “I’ve done that pretty much every day since I married into this family.”

Outside, Finn heard the murmur of those loitering Half-Hunters, watched the shapes cross the door, saw one grow larger and darker until it poked a nose through the letterbox.

“Hello. Let me in,” said a voice desperately. A man’s voice. “Please, there is about to be a terrible disaster.”

He sounded French. Or Swedish. Or maybe Korean. Finn wasn’t great with accents.

“Please,” said the Half-Hunter. “I need help.”

Finn sighed, closed his eyes in a long blink to compose himself, while Clara carefully opened the door. A Half-Hunter was dancing about on the doorstep, wearing some kind of black, naval-type uniform, complete with coloured strips on his left breast and chunky red and black cufflinks.

“Thank you,” he said as he burst in. “Where’s the toilet?”

Clara nodded towards a door under the stairs, and the Half-Hunter dashed straight for it.

There was another knock on the door. “Toilet’s already full,” said Finn.

“Do you need me to unblock it?” asked Emmie, pushing her head round the door.

“That’s not what I …” said Finn, flustered. “Hi, Emmie. You’re here.”

“I wouldn’t have missed your big ceremony for anything,” she beamed. “You know you’ve a split in those shorts?”

Finn felt himself blush. “Good. Not my shorts. I mean, it’s good you’re back.”

“Just for the ceremony,” she said. “Unless something goes terribly wrong again in Darkmouth. I’ve my fingers crossed for that.”

“I’ll do my best,” he smiled, while hoping nothing whatsoever would go terribly wrong.

“Hey, Finn, Clara,” said Emmie’s father, Steve, walking in after her. “You know there are a lot of people out there taking pictures of your garden wall.”

“I signed an autograph,” said Emmie, excited.

“No one wanted mine,” said Steve, failing to pretend that this hadn’t bothered him a bit. “I guess no one cares about the guy who rescues you every time you need it.”

Hugo arrived from the Long Hall. “We’re all about to need rescuing from the tourists following me up from the training room.”

“I’m always available to bail you out,” said Steve. “Unless it’s an issue with the toilet.”

Hugo looked puzzled. They heard the toilet flush. The door opened. The now much calmer intruder emerged, drying his hands on his trousers before giving an exaggerated swipe of relief across his forehead. Realising he’d hit the Legend Hunter jackpot, he thrust out a hand to shake Finn’s, who took it reluctantly and squirmed at how damp it still was.

“Oh boy,” said the excited Half-Hunter. “I am Nils, from the Norwegian Blighted Village of Splattafest, and you are all here. In Darkmouth. Together. Are those flowers poisonous?” He inspected a bunch on a small table.

“No,” said Clara.

“But those coat hooks shoot deadly darts, yes?”

“I’ll just get that door for you,” said Hugo. “It’s been lovely to meet you, but …”

“We are all looking forward to the great Completion,” said Nils. “Especially what they plan to do with the dozen golden monkeys. Something to do with the six hundred scorpions, I think.”

“OK, it’s about to get crowded in here,” said Hugo, looking back at the group of raffle winners coming up the Long Hall.

“I made special souvenir cufflinks—” Nils said, but he was cut off as Clara politely ushered him out. As she did, the front door gently swung open to reveal a queue of maybe half a dozen Half-Hunters.

“I need the toilet as well,” said the one at the front, dancing on the spot for added effect.

“Oh yeah, me too,” said the next.

“I’m bursting,” said the third.

Either side of Finn, there were Half-Hunters crowding into the house. He looked at Emmie. “I need rescuing.”

“Rescuing you is my speciality,” she smiled. “Let’s get out of here. Although you should probably put on some trousers first.”

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“Do you still get the stink?” Emmie asked Finn, and offered him a sweet from a brown paper bag.