Harbour Lights

“I can’t believe you’d just turn the other cheek, Dad,” he said.

“Your mother never cheated,” Mick repeated emphatically. “She might have thought about it, might even have wanted me to think she would, but she never did. I believe that with every fiber of my being.” He looked Kevin in the eye. “And even if she had, it’s in the past now. We’re moving on, finding our way back to each other. It’s what we both want, and if you can’t embrace that, then just stay out of our way.”

“So you don’t care what I—what any of us, for that matter—think about this reconciliation?”

“We care,” Mick said. “But it’s not going to be the deciding factor. You’re adults now, not children. Your opinions count, certainly, but you’re old enough to understand that love is what matters in this life, and we shouldn’t let anything stand in the way of that.”

“You let work get in the way,” Kevin reminded him.

“And I was a damn fool,” Mick replied without hesitation. “That’s a lesson I’m passing on to you here and now. If you’re lucky enough to love someone, make that your top priority.”

His father’s belated transformation was hard to buy, but there was at least some evidence to support it. “Is that why you’ve cut back on work, taken to volunteering?”

“Yes.”

Kevin tried to grapple with this turnaround. “And you don’t feel like you’re sacrificing your identity?”

“I have plenty of testaments to my identity as an architect all over this country,” Mick said. “The identity that matters is how well I’ve done as a husband and father. That one’s still evolving.”

Kevin looked into his father’s eyes and saw a serenity there that he couldn’t recall ever seeing before. He was at peace with the choices he was making lately. Kevin would give anything to find some measure of peace these days. He didn’t think he was going to find it in work, despite what everyone else seemed to be pushing him toward. As for love, what had that ever gotten him but a broken heart?

By midafternoon Shanna couldn’t stand it another minute. Beyond asking where she wanted things, Kevin hadn’t said two words to her all morning and only a half a dozen since lunchtime. The silence was making her a little crazy.

She poured two cups of coffee, frothed milk and added it to hers, then walked over to where Kevin was sorting the books for the nonfiction section according to category.

“Time for a break,” she announced, holding out the coffee.

He accepted it with obvious reluctance and eyed her warily. “What’s up?”

“That’s what I want to know,” she said. “You’ve hardly said a thing all day. Is something wrong? Is everything okay with your son?”

“Davy’s over at my sister’s playing with his cousins. Abby has a nanny who watches them during the summer.”

“Okay,” she said. “Then, if you’re not worried about him, what’s on your mind?”

He sat back, leaning against an overstuffed armchair she’d placed in the middle of the room. There were similar chairs scattered throughout. Most had been thrift shop finds, but all had been fitted with bright new slipcovers. Kevin’s gaze finally met hers.

“Why does something have to be wrong?” he inquired testily. “Don’t you ever have a day when you simply don’t have much to say?”

“Sure,” she said readily. “Usually when something’s wrong.”

His lips quirked up at that. “Okay, you got me there. Look, it’s nothing for you to worry about. My mood has nothing to do with you.”

“You’re here, so it does affect me,” she told him.

“I could leave.”

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” she said irritably. “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to talk to me.”

“Shanna, I appreciate the concern. I really do, but you don’t get to try to fix what’s wrong with me. Believe me, others have tried and failed.”

“So, you’re a real hard case, is that it?”

Again, his lips twitched. “Something like that.”

“You know, I’m actually a good listener,” she said, not sure why she was so determined to get to the bottom of his mood. “I don’t even have to offer any advice, though that might be a test of my willpower.”

He laughed then, which was a breakthrough of sorts. She grinned back at him. “That’s better.”

“Can we consider your work here done?” he asked hopefully.

“For the moment. Laughter really is the best medicine, don’t you think so?”

He gave her a somber look, then. “If only it were that easy,” he murmured, putting aside his coffee cup and standing up. “I’m going to finish with these books now.”

She watched as he went back to the task, deliberately shutting her out.

“You might take a look at a couple of those books on positive thinking,” she called out as she went back to her own section of the store.

To her delight, he laughed again.

Maybe, she thought, if she worked at coaxing that laugh out of him, in time it would get easier. It might not chase away all his demons, but it could be a start.

She sighed at the thought. Here she was again, trying to save a wounded soul. She thought of her ex-husband. She’d worked so hard to try to save him from himself, convinced that she could make things better for him and his son, but in the end alcohol had won.

It had taken a very long time, but she knew now it had never even been a fair fight.

5

With all of the physically demanding work finished at Shanna’s store, Kevin needed to find an excuse to be away from the house over the weekend, so he could avoid an encounter with his mother. Despite his father’s willingness to let bygones be bygones, Kevin wasn’t interested in a reconciliation with the woman who’d left them. It still shocked him that his sisters seemed to be mellowing toward their mother, especially Jess, who’d suffered the most when she’d gone.

Friday evening, assured that Davy was welcome to spend the night at Abby’s, he’d called Jake and scheduled a guys’ night out with him, Will and Mack. The quick agreement to the last-minute suggestion was one of the few benefits of having everyone worried about him. Bree had immediately given Jake her blessing to join the outing. Apparently she considered the invitation to Jake a sign that Kevin was finally on the mend.

Kevin wondered what she would have thought if she’d known how little he’d had to say all evening. Jake and Mack had filled the conversational gaps, while Will had studied him with way too many speculative looks. That was the risk of having a shrink for a friend, though Will was halfway decent about waiting to be asked for any kind of advice. If Kevin had been in a better frame of mind, he might have chuckled at the number of times he caught Will practically biting his tongue to keep silent.

Since Kevin had nursed a single beer most of the evening and gotten home early, he was up barely after dawn on Saturday and heading for Abby’s a half hour later. He was fairly confident that he’d be long gone before anyone else in the house awoke. He hadn’t formulated a plan for the rest of the day, but he definitely wouldn’t be spending it here waiting for his mother to pounce with advice or comfort.

Unfortunately, he’d just stepped off the porch, when he spotted his mother crossing the lawn, obviously returning from an early-morning walk on the beach. She offered him a tentative smile.

“You’re up early,” she said, her voice determinedly upbeat. “Going somewhere?”

“Over to Abby’s. I need to pick up Davy.”

He was about to walk on by, but she faced him with a penetrating look that halted him.

“Then you weren’t hoping to avoid me again this morning?” she inquired lightly.

He flushed guiltily. “So what if I was?” he asked defensively.