An O'brien Family Christmas

“If you say so,” he said skeptically. “And it really is over with Matthew?”

“It really is. You can rest easy. Your sister is no longer interested in disgracing the family name.”

Her response seemed to make him unhappy. “It wasn’t about me or the family name,” he said with obvious frustration. “How could you even think that? I just didn’t want Matthew messing with your head.”

“Well, he’s not messing with any part of me now. You should be thrilled.”

He winced. “You’ll find the right guy,” he said, seeking to reassure her. “I could ask Abby—”

“Don’t you dare!” she ordered, horrified. “I do not want your wife parading a bunch of men in front of me.”

“It was just a thought,” he said defensively. “I feel as if it’s my fault you’re miserable.”

“I’m not miserable,” she insisted. “I’m in transition.” She was pleased with the word. It described exactly where she was in her life, somewhere between the happiness she’d never expected and the uncertain future that was somewhere around the corner.

Trace stood up, apparently satisfied. “We’re good, then?”

She sighed and crossed the room. For all of his annoying flaws, he was a good brother. One of the best. “Of course we’re good,” she said, hugging him fiercely. “Just try to remember you’re a Riley, not an O’Brien. Meddling doesn’t come naturally to you. You made a real mess of it this time.”

“Again, very, very sorry,” he said contritely, a twinkle back in his eyes. At her skeptical look, he said, “Okay, at least a little bit sorry. I think you can do way better than Matthew.”

“You probably ought to leave before I feel compelled to argue with you about that,” she responded.

“Love you.”

“You, too,” she said, watching as he left. From the window moments later, she could see him crossing the inn’s lawn and heading down to the beach to walk along the shore to the home he’d bought for himself, Abby and his twin stepdaughters. He was whistling, obviously pleased that the visit with Laila had been a success, that their relationship had been mended, if not hers with their father.

She shook her head. She knew her brother loved her, knew he wanted her to be happy, but he didn’t have even the tiniest bit of insight about what it would take to make that happen. If he had, he’d have understood that her best chance at happiness was with the man of whom he’d so vocally disapproved. Not that she intended to admit such a thing to Trace or anyone else. She could barely even admit it to herself.

After a frustrating hour of holiday shopping when her heart hadn’t been in it, Laila was eating a solitary evening meal at Sally’s when she looked up to see Nell O’Brien standing beside her table. The place was jam-packed with other shoppers, holiday carols were being played on the sound systems here and in every store in town, which had left Laila somehow feeling more alone and out of sorts than ever. She’d barely touched her meal, which by now was cold and unappetizing.

“May I?” Nell asked, gesturing toward the empty seat across from Laila. “I swear I’m just about worn out from Christmas shopping, and I’ve barely gotten started.”

“Of course. Have a seat,” Laila said. “Tell me why on earth you’re shopping here, when you’ll be spending the holidays in Dublin?”

“Oh, you know how it is,” Nell responded after ordering a cup of tea and a bowl of Sally’s homemade vegetable beef soup. “There are a lot of people who’ll be expecting a little something. Many of them no longer have family around, so it’s up to friends like me to make sure they aren’t forgotten.”

“Wouldn’t they be happier with a gift from Ireland?” Laila inquired.

Nell chuckled. “Oh, they’ll be hoping for that, too, if only a small token so they’ll know I was thinking of them. I suspect I’ll be coming back with a lot of soft woolen scarves that’ll be perfect for the chilly Chesapeake Shores winter.”

Laila hesitated. She was the one who’d brought up Ireland, but she wasn’t really sure it was a topic they ought to be discussing. The whole subject was fraught with peril, especially for her. Still, there was little point in pretending the big family vacation wasn’t just a couple of weeks away.

“You must be getting really excited about the trip,” she said, treading carefully. She hoped Nell couldn’t see through the casual indifference she was trying to project. “How long has it been since you’ve been back? “

Nell’s expression turned nostalgic. “The last time was the year before my husband died, so quite a while. I’m anxious to visit one last time, to see the few friends who are left, and to show some of my favorite spots to all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I want them to understand where their family came from. I might not have grown up in Ireland the way my ancestors did, but it’s in my blood and my descendants’. I knew that the first time I set foot on Irish soil.”

“I know Jess is looking forward to it,” Laila said. “It was practically all she talked about the last time we spoke.” Of course, the real focus had been on getting Laila to come along, but that was best left unsaid.

“I think she and Susie are almost as excited as I am,” Nell agreed. “There’s nothing quite like Ireland at Christmas, you know. There are so many decorations. The holly is especially bountiful over there. Windows are lit with candles to welcome neighbors.” Her eyes filled with delight. “There are just so many wonderful traditions I’ve missed. My parents tried to keep some of them alive here, but it’s not the same. I didn’t realize that until I’d gone to live with my grandfather for a year. Summer visits were one thing, but being there for all the seasons, and especially Christmas, was magical.”

“I wish …” Laila began, then cut herself off with a shake of her head.

Nell’s expression brightened. “Wish what, my dear? That you could be there? You should be. We’d love for you to come. You’re very much a part of this family.”

Laila sighed. “Not really.”

“You’re Trace’s sister, aren’t you? And Abby’s sister-in-law? You’ve been in and out of Mick’s house and mine practically since you could walk. In my book, that makes you one of us.”

Laila noticed that she’d made no mention of Laila’s past relationship with Matthew. Even Nell obviously understood it had been little more than a passing infatuation.

“Jess told me I’d be welcome, but I’d feel out of place,” Laila admitted.

“Not because of Matthew, I hope,” Nell said. “No one is holding that against you.”

Laila bristled at her choice of words. “Against me?” she repeated. “I know O’Briens stick together, but why would anyone hold what happened against me?”

“Well, you did dump him, after all,” Nell said, her tone matter-of-fact. “Family loyalty surely puts us on his side, though I know you must have had your reasons. Still, all of us understand that the relationship simply wasn’t meant to be. There are no hard feelings.”

Laila knew she should bite her tongue, but she couldn’t let the comment go unchallenged. “No offense, but Matthew has some responsibility for what happened. He’s not exactly a saint.”

Nell chuckled. “Not exactly,” she said agreeably. “Much as I love him, I would never suggest such a thing.”

“Then why do I get the feeling that you’re heaping all the blame for what happened on me?”

Nell regarded her innocently. “Is that the way it sounded? I didn’t mean for it to. I know as well as anyone how impossible my grandson can be. I’m sure he must have done something perfectly outrageous for a kind, considerate woman like you to drop him the way you did.”

“There was no dropping,” Laila insisted stiffly. “It was a mutual decision.” More or less, anyway. She’d said there was no way they could continue to see each other, and he’d gone along with it. She’d hated that almost as much as she’d hated her father’s disdainful, unyielding attitude and the rift that had created.

Nell looked surprised. “Is that so? Matthew certainly seemed to suggest … Well, never mind. I must have gotten it wrong.”

Laila frowned. “Exactly what did Matthew say?”

“That he was paying the price for your father’s ridiculous stance, that on some level you still want to get back into your father’s good graces and that cutting Matthew out of your life was the first step.” She shrugged. “I can understand how he might have come to that conclusion. Your father’s not an easy man, now, is he?”

“No, he’s not, but the whole idea that I broke up with Matthew to appease my father is insane,” Laila said indignantly. “I’m not even speaking to my father, much less trying to win him over. He has nothing to do with this. I’m done trying to jump through hoops to please him.”

“I hope that’s true,” Nell said gently. “You’re a smart, thoughtful woman, Laila. You should be deciding things for yourself, especially when it comes to choosing the man you’ll love.”

“And that’s exactly what I did,” Laila said heatedly. “I decided Matthew was all wrong for me. He agreed.”

“If you say so,” Nell murmured. She seemed to be fighting a smile.

Laila couldn’t believe that Matthew was going around town psychoanalyzing her. Wasn’t that Will Lincoln’s domain? Jess’s husband was the shrink in the family.

“I have to go,” Laila said abruptly. She stood up, pulled a twenty from her purse and left it on the table. Though she felt like storming out, good manners had her bending down to kiss Nell’s cheek. None of this was her fault, and she was only expressing whatever nonsense Matthew had fed her. “If I don’t see you before the trip, I really do hope you have a wonderful time.”

“Happy Christmas to you, too, dear,” Nell responded.