Seaview Inn

Now, here she was, willing to deny her own child what she’d missed most during her own childhood. She understood the irony in that, but so far she hadn’t been able to talk herself into backing down. She was convinced that if she rushed into marriage with Jeff because of the baby, they’d never have a real chance to make it work. She doubted she’d be able to hide her resentment, and that would poison their relationship.

Sighing, she sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Jeff down beside her. Sitting thigh to thigh, even under these circumstances, she could feel the chemistry between them, chemistry that had been there from the time they’d first met. He wasn’t like the preppy guys she’d always dated. He was offbeat, a little bit of a nerd. His dark brown hair was almost always in need of a cut, not out of rebellion, but simply because he forgot about it.

It was his eyes, though, that had drawn her in. They were like melted chocolate, and when they were focused on her, their intensity made her pulse scramble.

His wardrobe, while not totally atypical of that of all the kids around them, was a horror—faded jeans, T-shirts and ancient sneakers. It offended Kelsey’s fashion sense, developed by associating with some of her mom’s designer clients, but she’d seen beyond the clothes to the really good person he was. Only after they’d been dating for months had she learned that he was from a wealthy San Francisco family and that he was somewhat of a computer genius, who’d already amassed a small fortune himself with software he’d designed.

Sitting beside him now, she stared straight ahead, afraid that if she looked into his eyes, she’d give in and agree to marry him. It was the simplest solution to her predicament, but one she was determined to resist.

“You know that I’m not saying no because I don’t love you, right?” she asked softly.

“You’re saying no because you’re stubborn,” he countered. “We’ve been talking about marriage for months now. All this changes is the timetable.”

“Exactly. We had that timetable for a reason. I wanted to graduate, to get established in a career before we took the next step in our relationship. I wanted to figure out who I am.”

“I already know who you are, but I suppose that doesn’t count,” Jeff countered. “But you can still do all that. We’ll hire a nanny. Or I’ll take care of the baby while you’re in school.”

“You have classes, too,” she reminded him.

He regarded her with an impatient expression. “Come on, Kelsey, we’ve been over this. I get what you’re saying and why you’re scared, but nothing has to change. If we didn’t have a cent to our names, maybe there would be sacrifices, but trust me, we can afford a place to live and all the help we need. You’ll have all the time and space you want to decide who you are and figure out what you want. In fact, it’ll be easier because you won’t be forced to take some nothing job just to pay bills. You can take your time after graduation and find the perfect job.”

She heard the sincerity in his voice and she wanted desperately to believe things would be that simple, but she just couldn’t. First thing she knew, she’d be Mrs. Jeff Hampton, a wife and a mother. She was scared to death that Kelsey Matthews-Ryan would get lost.

She also knew her fears were compounded because for years she’d been so certain about what she wanted—a career in graphic design. But now that she’d been studying for the degree that would get her that career, now that she’d proved she could handle it, the path she’d chosen had lost some of its luster. She feared the same thing could happen if she rushed into marriage. Maybe it was morning sickness, maybe it was hormones, but her world had tilted on its axis and left her reeling. She simply couldn’t cope with a decision as huge as getting married right now.

“I can’t, Jeff. I can’t do it.”

“You’d rather quit school and run home to your mom?” he asked incredulously. “That doesn’t make any sense at all. You’re actually giving up the very thing you claim you want.”

“Temporarily,” she insisted. “I’ll go back to school after the baby’s born. Maybe by then I’ll have figured out if graphic design is what I really want, after all. Why get a degree in something and then decide it’s not what I’m passionate about?”

“Okay, let’s say you do take time off,” he said reasonably. “How will you manage college a year from now or two years from now, especially if you decide you want a degree in something else and have to practically start over?”

Kelsey frowned. “I don’t know exactly, but I’ll make it work.”

“Look at me,” he commanded. “Kelsey, look at me. You’re not still thinking about adoption, are you? Because I won’t go along with it. I want this baby, even if you don’t.”

There was an unyielding note in his voice she’d never heard before. Why, when it came to this, did he have to change from an easygoing, come-what-may kind of guy into one determined to have his own way?

Tears stung Kelsey’s eyes. How had things turned into such a mess? A few weeks ago, her life had been totally on track. She’d aced most of her final exams. She was excited about her new courses, even though she was starting to question her career goals. She was with a guy she adored. And now, because of one careless moment, everything was at risk.

“You should go,” she told Jeff. “We’re not going to settle this tonight and I’m leaving first thing in the morning.”

“But you’re coming back?” he asked. “You’re not going to disappear and do something behind my back, are you?”

“I can’t believe you asked me that,” she said, surprisingly stung. “You know me better than anyone. I promised you I wouldn’t do anything crazy and I meant it. I promised my mom the same thing.”

“Did she buy it?” he asked.

Kelsey sighed. “Not entirely. Look, whatever decision I make, I will come back here and I will tell you. That’s the best I can promise.”

“I suppose I’ll have to live with that,” Jeff said, then met her gaze. “For now.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I have a stake in this decision, too. You need time right now, I’ll let you have it. But not too much time, Kelsey, or I’ll follow you and do everything in my power to make you see this my way.”

Kelsey looked deep into his eyes and saw the determination there. She realized that Jeff’s powers of persuasion were what scared her most of all.

* * *

Hannah used the twenty-minute ferry ride to the mainland to finally broach the subject that had brought her to Seaview Key. The waters were calm, the breeze balmy by mid-morning as they made the crossing. She and her grandmother stood by the railing and watched as the mainland grew from a distant speck to an impressive skyline.

“Gran, have you ever thought about living on the mainland?” she began carefully.

“Why would I do that when I have a perfectly good home where I am?”

“You’d be surrounded by more people your own age,” Hannah explained, injecting as much enthusiasm as she could into her voice. “You could get involved in more activities. You’d be closer to doctors and a major hospital. The clinic on Seaview Key isn’t prepared to cope with anything more than a minor emergency.”

“Do you honestly think I would ever move into one of those retirement communities?” she asked derisively. “That’s what you’re talking about, isn’t it? Putting me out to pasture like some horse that’s outlived its usefulness.”

“Not at all,” Hannah said, doing her best to remain upbeat. “I think it would be great to be able to do so many things anytime you wanted to without worrying about the ferry schedule. Plus, you’ve spent your whole life catering to other people’s needs. It’s time for you to think about your needs.”

“I don’t have many needs and I don’t worry much about the ferry schedule,” Grandma Jenny replied tartly. “I have it committed to memory. Besides, now that I don’t drive much, it’s been months since I’ve needed it at all. Anytime I need anything from the mainland, I can find someone to fetch it for me. I’m not like you. I don’t need to be on the go all the time. I’m happy right where I am.” She gave Hannah a hard look. “Intend to stay there, too, so don’t go getting any ideas.”

Hannah dropped the subject for now. She’d check online to locate the best facilities in the area and call for brochures. Maybe on their next trip to the mainland, she could persuade her grandmother to at least look at a couple of them.

“Any idea where you’d like to go for lunch?” she asked, changing the topic to something neutral. “I think we should eat first, then run all the errands.”

“I like that cafeteria well enough.”

Hannah bit back a groan. The last time she’d tried a slice of pie there, the whipped cream on top had the texture of plastic foam. “I suppose you’re going to want the liver and onions,” she teased, resigned to choking down a tasteless meal.

“Of course. I learned a long time ago that I’d be wasting my time fixing that for you. You’d gag every time I set it on the table.”

“Which ought to tell you something,” Hannah said. “But if that’s what you want, that’s where we’ll go.”

Her grandmother gave her a knowing look. “Don’t think buttering me up is going to work, young lady. You can agree to everything I suggest from now till Christmas and I still won’t look at one of those retirement places.”

“Whatever,” Hannah said, then had to bite back a smile the instant the word was out of her mouth. She’d sounded exactly like Kelsey at her most annoying. Apparently the universe was intent on reducing her to a petulant child again, too.

* * *

“What did Gran have you doing today?” Kelsey asked her that evening.

“Picking out paint and looking at fabric for the cushions on the porch,” Hannah told her. “We managed to get the paint at the first place we looked, but we had to go to four different fabric stores before we found anything that satisfied her. I looked at so many flowered prints, I came home dizzy.”

“Have you told her yet that you’re not staying?”