Arabian Nights

‘We call this garment creve-cœur; and rightly it is hight,

For many a heart wi’ this we broke and conquered many a sprite!’

Then they displayed her in the seventh dress, coloured between safflower and saffron, even as one of the poets saith:

In vest of saffron pale and safflower red

Musk’d, sandal’d, ambergris’d, she came to front:

‘Rise!’ cried her youth, ‘go forth and show thyself!’

‘Sit,’ said her hips, ‘we cannot bear the brunt!’

And when I craved a bout, her Beauty said

‘Do, do!’ and said her pretty shame, ‘Don’t, don’t!’

Thus they displayed the bride in all her seven toilettes before Hasan al-Basri, wholly neglecting the Gobbo who sat moping alone; and, when she opened her eyes she said, ‘O Allah make this man my goodman and deliver me from the evil of this hunchbacked groom.’ As soon as they had made an end of this part of the ceremony they dismissed the wedding-guests who went forth, women, children and all, and none remained save Hasan and the Hunchback, whilst the tire-women led the bride into an inner room to change her garb and gear and get her ready for her bridegroom.

Thereupon Quasimodo came up to Badr al-Din Hasan and said, ‘O my lord, thou hast cheered us this night with thy good company and overwhelmed us with thy kindness and courtesy; but now why not get thee up and go?’ ‘Bismillah;’ he answered, ‘In Allah’s name so be it!’ and rising, he went forth by the door, where the Ifrit met him and said, ‘Stay in thy stead, O Badr al-Din, and when the Hunchback goes out to the closet of ease go in without losing time and seat thyself in the alcove; and when the bride comes say to her: “’Tis I am thy husband, for the King devised this trick only fearing for thee the evil eye, and he whom thou sawest is but a syce, a groom, one of our stablemen.” Then walk boldly up to her and unveil her face; for jealousy hath taken us of this matter.’

While Hasan was still talking with the Ifrit behold, the groom fared forth from the hall and entering the closet of ease sat down on the stool. Hardly had he done this when the Ifrit came out of the tank, wherein the water was, in semblance of a mouse and sqeaked out ‘Zeek!’ Quoth the Hunchback, ‘What ails thee?’ and the mouse grew and grew till it became a coal-black cat and caterwauled ‘Meeao! Meeao!’ Then it grew still more and more till it became a dog and barked out ‘Owh! Owh!’ When the bridegroom saw this he was frightened and exclaimed ‘Out with thee, O unlucky one!’ But the dog grew and swelled till it became an ass-colt that brayed and snorted in his face ‘Hauk! Hauk!’ Whereupon the Hunchback quaked and cried, ‘Come to my aid, O people of the house!’ But behold, the ass-colt grew and became as big as a buffalo and walled the way before him and spake with the voice of the sons of Adam, saying, ‘Woe to thee, O thou Hunchback, thou stinkard, O thou filthiest of grooms!’

Hearing this the groom was seized with a colic and he sat down on the jakes in his clothes with teeth chattering and knocking together. Quoth the Ifrit, ‘Is the world so strait to thee thou findest none to marry save my lady-love?’ But as he was silent the Ifrit continued, ‘Answer me or I will do thee dwell in the dust!’ ‘By Allah,’ replied the Gobbo, ‘O King of the Buffaloes, this is no fault of mine, for they forced me to wed her; and verily I wot not that she had a lover amongst the buffaloes; but now I repent, first before Allah and then before thee.’ Said the Ifrit to him, ‘I swear to thee that if thou fare forth from this place, or thou utter a word before sunrise, I assuredly will wring thy neck. When the sun rises wend thy went and never more return to this house.’

So saying, the Ifrit took up the Gobbo bridegroom and set him head downwards and feet upwards in the slit of the privy, and said to him, ‘I will leave thee here but I shall be on the look-out for thee till sunrise; and, if thou stir before then, I will seize thee by the feet and dash out thy brains against the wall: so look out for thy life!’ Thus far concerning the Hunchback, but as regards Badr al-Din Hasan of Bassorah, he left the Gobbo and the Ifrit jangling and wrangling and, going into the house, sat him down in the very middle of the alcove; and behold, in came the bride attended by an old woman who stood at the door and said, ‘O Father of Uprightness, arise and take what God giveth thee.’

Then the old woman went away and the bride, Sitt al-Husn or the Lady of Beauty hight, entered the inner part of the alcove broken-hearted and saying in herself, ‘By Allah I will never yield my person to him; no, not even were he to take my life!’ But as she came to the further end she saw Badr al-Din Hasan and she said, ‘Dearling! art thou still sitting here? By Allah I was wishing that thou wert my bridegroom or, at least, that thou and the hunchbacked horsegroom were partners in me.’ He replied, ‘O beautiful lady, how should the syce have access to thee, and how should he share in thee with me?’ ‘Then,’ quoth she, ‘who is my husband, thou or he?’ ‘Sitt al-Husn,’ rejoined Hasan, ‘we have not done this for mere fun, but only as a device to ward off the evil eye from thee; for when the tirewomen and singers and wedding-guests saw thy beauty being displayed to me, they feared fascination and thy father hired the horse-groom for ten dinars and a porringer of meat to take the evil eye off us; and now he hath received his hire and gone his gait.’

When the Lady of Beauty heard these words she smiled and rejoiced and laughed a pleasant laugh. Then she whispered him, ‘By the Lord, thou hast quenched a fire which tortured me and now, by Allah, O my little dark-haired darling, take me to thee and press me to thy bosom!’ Then she began singing:

‘By Allah, set thy foot upon my soul;

Since long, long years for this alone I long:

And whisper tale of love in ear of me;

To me ’tis sweeter than the sweetest song!

No other youth upon my heart shall lie;

So do it often, dear, and do it long.’

Then she stripped off her outer gear and she threw open her chemise from the neck downwards and showed all the rondure of her hips. When Badr al-Din saw the glorious sight his desires were roused, and he rose and doffed his clothes, and wrapping up in his bag-trousers the purse of gold which he had taken from the Jew and which contained the thousand dinars, he laid it under the edge of the bedding. Then he took off his turband and set it upon the settle atop of his other clothes, remaining in his skull-cap and fine shirt of blue silk laced with gold. Whereupon the Lady of Beauty drew him to her and he did likewise.

And when the battle and the siege had finished, some fifteen assaults he had furnished and she conceived by him that very night. Then he laid his hand under her head and she did the same and they embraced and fell asleep in each other’s arms, as a certain poet said of such lovers in these couplets:

Visit thy lover, spurn what envy told;

No envious churl shall smile on love ensoul’d.

Merciful Allah made no fairer sight

Then coupled lovers single couch doth hold;

Breast pressing breast and robed in joys their own,

With pillowed forearms cast in finest mould:

And when heart speaks to heart with tongue of love,

Folk who would part them hammer steel ice-cold:

If a fair friend thou find who cleaves to thee,

Live for that friend, that friend in heart enfold.

O ye who blame for love us lover kind

Say, can ye minister to diseased mind?

This much concerning Badr al-Din Hasan and Sitt al-Husn his cousin; but as regards the Ifrit, as soon as he saw the twain asleep, he said to the Ifritah, ‘Arise; slip thee under the youth and let us carry him back to his place ere dawn overtake us; for the day is nearhand.’ Thereupon she came forward and, getting under him as he lay asleep, took him up clad only in his fine blue shirt, leaving the rest of his garments; and ceased not flying (and the Ifrit vying with her in flight) till the dawn advised them that it had come upon them mid-way, and the Muezzin began his call from the Minaret, ‘Haste ye to salvation! Haste ye to salvation!’

Then Allah suffered His angelic host to shoot down the Ifrit with a shooting star, so he was consumed, but the Ifritah escaped and she descended with Badr al-Din at the place where the Ifrit was burnt, and did not carry him back to Bassorah, fearing lest he come to harm. Now by the order of Him who predestineth all things, they alighted at Damascus of Syria, and the Ifritah set down her burden at one of the city gates and flew away. When day arose and the doors were opened, the folk who came forth saw a handsome youth, with no other raiment but his blue shirt of gold-embroidered silk and skull-cap, lying upon the ground drowned in sleep after the hard labour of the night which had not suffered him to take his rest. So the folk looking at him said, ‘O her luck with whom this one spent the night! But would he had waited to don his garments.’ Quoth another, ‘A sorry lot are the sons of great families! Haply he but now came forth of the tavern on some occasion of his own and his wine flew to his head, whereby he hath missed the place he was making for and strayed till he came to the gate of the city; and finding it shut lay him down and went to by-by!’

As the people were bandying guesses about him suddenly the morning breeze blew upon Badr al-Din and raising his shirt to his middle showed a stomach and navel with something below it, and legs and thighs clear as crystal and smooth as cream. Cried the people, ‘By Allah he is a pretty fellow!’ and at the cry Badr al-Din awoke and found himself lying at a city-gate with a crowd gathered around him. At this he greatly marvelled and asked, ‘Where am I, O good folk; and what causeth you thus to gather round me, and what have I had to do with you?’ and they answered, ‘We found thee lying asleep during the call to dawn-prayer and this is all we know of the matter, but where diddest thou lie last night?’

‘By Allah, O good people,’ replied he, ‘I lay last night in Cairo.’ Said somebody, ‘Thou hast surely been eating Hashish;’ and another, ‘He is a fool;’ and a third, ‘He is a citrouille;’ and a fourth asked him, ‘Art thou out of thy mind? thou sleepest in Cairo and thou wakest in the morning at the gate of Damascus-city!’ Cried he, ‘By Allah, my good people, one and all, I lie not to you: indeed I lay yesternight in the land of Egypt and yesternoon I was at Bassorah.’ Quoth one, ‘Well! Well!’ and quoth another, ‘Ho! Ho!’ and a third, ‘So! So!’ and a fourth cried, ‘This youth is mad, is possessed of the Jinni!’ So they clapped hands at him and said to one another, ‘Alas, the pity of it for his youth: by Allah a madman! and madness is no respecter of persons.’

Then said they to him, ‘Collect thy wits and return to thy reason! How couldest thou be in Bassorah yesterday and in Cairo yesternight and withal awake in Damascus this morning?’ But he persisted, ‘Indeed I was a bridegroom in Cairo last night.’ ‘Belike thou hast been dreaming,’ rejoined they, ‘and sawest all this in thy sleep.’ So Hasan took thought for a while and said to them, ‘By Allah, this is no dream; nor vision-like doth it seem! I certainly was in Cairo where they displayed the bride before me, in presence of a third person, the Hunchback groom who was sitting hard by. By Allah, O my brother, this be no dream, and if it were a dream, where is the bag of gold I bore with me, and where are my turband and my robe, and my trousers?’

Then he rose and entered the city, threading its highways and by-ways and bazar-streets; and the people pressed upon him and jeered at him, crying out ‘Madman! Madman!’ till he, beside himself with rage, took refuge in a cook’s shop. Now that Cook had been a trifle too clever, that is, a rogue and thief; but Allah had made him repent and turn from his evil ways and open a cook-shop; and all the people of Damascus stood in fear of his boldness and his mischief. So when the crowd saw the youth enter his shop, they dispersed being afraid of him, and went their ways.

The Cook looked at Badr al-Din and, noting his beauty and loveliness, fell in love with him forthright and said, ‘Whence comest thou, O youth? Tell me at once thy tale, for thou art become dearer to me than my soul.’ So Hasan recounted to him all that had befallen him from beginning to end (but in repetition there is no fruition) and the Cook said, ‘O my lord Badr al-Din, doubtless thou knowest that this case is wondrous and this story marvellous; therefore, O my son, hide what hath betided thee, till Allah dispel what ills be thine; and tarry with me here the meanwhile, for I have no child and I will adopt thee.’ Badr al-Din replied, ‘Be it as thou wilt, O my uncle!’ Whereupon the Cook went to the bazar and bought him a fine suit of clothes and made him don it; then fared with him to the Kazi, and formally declared that he was his son.

So Badr al-Din Hasan became known in Damascus-city as the Cook’s son and he sat with him in the shop to take the silver, and on this wise he sojourned there for a time. Thus far concerning him; but as regards his cousin, the Lady of Beauty, when morning dawned she awoke and missed Badr al-Din Hasan from her side; but she thought that he had gone to the privy and she sat expecting him for an hour or so; when behold, entered her father Shams al-Din Mohammed, Wazir of Egypt. Now he was disconsolate by reason of what had befallen him through the Sultan, who had entreated him harshly and had married his daughter by force to the lowest of his menials and he too a lump of a groom bunch-backed withal, and he said to himself, ‘I will slay this daughter of mine if of her own free will she have yielded her person to this accursed carle.’ So he came to the door of the bride’s private chamber, and said ‘Ho! Sitt al-Husn.’ She answered him, ‘Here I am! here I am! O my lord.’ and came out unsteady of gait after the pains and pleasures of the night; and she kissed his hand, her face showing redoubled brightness and beauty for having lain in the arms of that gazelle, her cousin.

When her father, the Wazir, saw her in such case, he asked her, ‘O thou accursed, art thou rejoicing because of this horse-groom?’ and Sitt al-Husn smiled sweetly and answered, ‘By Allah, don’t ridicule me: enough of what passed yesterday when folk laughed at me, and evened me with that groom-fellow who is not worthy to bring my husband’s shoes or slippers; nay who is not worth the paring of my husband’s nails! By the Lord, never in my life have I nighted a night so sweet as yesternight! so don’t mock by reminding me of the Gobbo.’ When her parent heard her words he was filled with fury, and his eyes glared and stared, so that little of them showed save the whites and he cried, ‘Fie upon thee! What words are these? ’Twas the hunchbacked horse-groom who passed the night with thee!’ ‘Allah upon thee,’ replied the Lady of Beauty, ‘do not worry me about the Gobbo, Allah damn his father; and leave jesting with me; for this groom was only hired for ten dinars and a porringer of meat and he took his wage and went his way. As for me I entered the bridal-chamber, where I found my true bridegroom sitting, after the singer-women had displayed me to him; the same who had crossed their hands with red gold, till every pauper that was present waxed wealthy; and I passed the night on the breast of my bonny man, a most lively darling, with his black eyes and joined eyebrows.’

When her parent heard these words the light before his face became night, and he cried out at her saying, ‘O thou whore! What is this thou tellest me? Where be thy wits?’ ‘O my father,’ she rejoined, ‘thou breakest my heart; enough for thee that thou hast been so hard upon me! Indeed my husband who took my virginity is but just now gone to the draght-house and I feel that I have conceived by him.’ The Wazir rose in much marvel and entered the privy where he found the hunchbacked horse-groom with his head in the hole and his heels in the air.

At this sight he was confounded and said, ‘This is none other than he, the rascal Hunchback!’ So he called to him, ‘Ho, Hunchback!’ The Gobbo grunted out, ‘Taghum! Taghum!’ thinking it was the Ifrit spoke to him; so the Wazir shouted at him and said, ‘Speak out, or I’ll strike off thy pate with this sword.’

Then quoth the Hunchback, ‘By Allah, O shaykh of the Ifrits, ever since thou settest me in this place, I have not lifted my head; so Allah upon thee, take pity and entreat me kindly!’ When the Wazir heard this he asked, ‘What is this thou sayest? I’m the bride’s father and no Ifrit.’ ‘Enough for thee that thou hast well nigh done me die,’ answered Quasimodo; ‘now go thy ways before he come upon thee who hath served me thus. Could ye not marry me to any save the lady-love of buffaloes and the beloved of Ifrits? Allah curse her and curse him who married me to her and was the cause of this my case.’

Then said the Wazir to him, ‘Up and out of this place!’ ‘Am I mad,’ cried the groom, ‘that I should go with thee without leave of the Ifrit whose last words to me were: ‘When the sun rises, arise and go thy gait.’ So hath the sun risen or not? For I dare not budge from this place till then.’ Asked the Wazir, ‘Who brought thee hither?’ and he answered, ‘I came here yesternight for a call of nature and to do what none can do for me, when lo! a mouse came out of the water, and squeaked at me and swelled and waxed gross till it was big as a buffalo, and spoke to me words that entered my ears. Then he left me here and went away, Allah curse the bride and him who married me to her!’

The Wazir walked up to him and lifted his head out of the cesspool hole; and he fared forth running for dear life and hardly crediting that the sun had risen; and repaired to the Sultan to whom he told all that had befallen him with the Ifrit. But the Wazir returned to the bride’s private chamber, sore troubled in spirit about her, and said to her, ‘O my daughter, explain this strange matter to me!’