Love Like That

Keira’s mind conjured up the image of Shane’s gorgeous face – the stubble on his chiseled jaw, those amazing Irish blue eyes – and flitted through a myriad of wonderful memories from the month they’d spent falling in love.

“A week,” she said through a dreamy exhalation, thinking of the sensation of his lips on hers, the touch of his fingers against her skin. “Which reminds me, I should call him.”

It would be approaching midnight in Ireland where Shane lived, and so it would be her last chance to speak to him before he went to bed. Then she’d have to endure an eight-hour-long Shane absence while he was sleeping. No texts, no cheeky messages or funny quips. Those eight hours were almost unbearable for her at the moment, so strong was her craving for him.

“You call him every morning?” Bryn asked, surprised.

Keira picked up the hint of disdain in her sister’s voice. She was a perpetual singleton and serial dater, which made her suspicious of anyone who claimed to have found love.

“Yup,” Keira replied. “You’re usually snoring so you don’t notice.”

“Well, I think that’s unhealthy,” Bryn began. “You’re already too reliant on him.”

Keira rolled her eyes as she stood. Bryn liked nothing more than to be a know-it-all, despite being a rather dismal role model. And if she only knew, Kyra thought, if she could only witness what she and Shane had together, she wouldn’t be so sure of herself.

Keira took her phone into the bathroom, knowing it would be the only place where she could get any privacy in Bryn’s pokey apartment, then dialed Shane’s number. The usual thrill of excitement ran through her body as she waited, listening to the dial tone, in anticipation of hearing Shane’s beautiful voice again. She couldn’t wait to tell him about all the exciting things she had planned for his visit, all the sights of New York she was planning on showing him, from sampling food along Restaurant Row to river walks in Tribeca, the Tenement Museum, the gardens in Battery Park, the apple farm upstate and art galleries in Chelsea. Her itinerary was packed to the brim and she knew Shane would be just as excited to experience the city as she was to show it off.

Finally the call connected and Keira felt her heart soar. But rather than his usual chirpy voice, Shane sounded strained. And rather than answering the call with a silly over-the-top pet name like bunny or petal, he used her actual name.

“Keira, hey,” he said, sounding weary, like he’d had the worst day imaginable.

Keira’s elation immediately turned to anguish. In the background she could hear unfamiliar noises, lots of conversations, and ringing telephones.

“What’s happened?” she asked, starting to feel panicked. “Where are you?”

“Hospital.”

“Oh my God, why?” Keira’s heart began to race with terror, her mind going into overdrive. “Are you hurt? Sick?”

“It’s not me,” Shane said. “I’m fine. It’s my dad.”

Keira brought a picture of Shane’s father, Calum Lawder, to the forefront of her mind. He was one of the kindest, sweetest people she’d ever had the privilege of meeting. To think something had happened to him was awful.

“Is he okay? Tell me what’s going on.”

Shane sighed deeply. “He’ll be fine now they’ve operated.”

Keira felt her bones turn to ice. “Operated?” she cried.

“I’ve been in Accident and Emergency all day. He had a heart attack. They had to put a stent in. It’s a miracle he’s alive. If it hadn’t have been for the fact there was a heart surgeon in the hospital this morning for a scheduled appointment he wouldn’t have made it.”

“Oh, Shane, I’m so sorry,” Keira replied, feeling her chest clenching with anguish. She wished she could reach inside the phone and pluck Shane through it, smother him in care and affection. “How is your mom? Your sisters?”

“We’re okay,” Shane replied. “Still all in shock, to be honest. Especially Hannah.”

Keira thought of Shane’s youngest sister, the golden-haired sixteen-year-old she’d bonded with in particular. “Poor kid,” she replied. Suddenly now didn’t seem like the time to discuss Shane’s upcoming visit. It didn’t feel right to talk about all their exciting plans after the scare Shane had just experienced. “How is Calum now?”

“He’s awake and joking around, but I can tell he’s just trying to put on a brave face for the rest of us.”

“I’m so sorry, babe,” Keira said. “I wish I could be with you to support you, but I guess I’ll just have to store up all my hugs for the next week until you arrive.”

On the other end of the phone, Shane was silent. All Keira could hear were the ringing telephones of the busy hospital, bleeping machines, the faint sound of sirens, and the general hustle and bustle of medical staff completing their duties.

“It sounds chaotic there,” she added when Shane still remained mute.

“Keira,” he said, cutting off the end of her sentence.

Keira didn’t like the sound of his tone. She got the distinct impression that Shane was about to break bad news.

“What…?” she asked, drawing the sound of the word out like it was a wince.

“I’m going to have to cancel the trip,” Shane stated.

Keira could tell he was devastated just by the sound of his voice. Her own voice dropped into a pained whisper. “Really?”

“I’m sorry,” Shane responded. “But I have to be here. For Mum and the girls. They’re in pieces right now. I would feel like a jerk if I swanned off to New York City and left them all.”

“But it’s not for a week,” Keira replied. “Won’t things have calmed down by then? Calum will be back on his feet. And you won’t be away for that long anyway. Only a week. It’s not like you’re staying for a month or anything crazy like that. They’ll be fine without you for a few days. I mean, they cope without you once a year when you’re doing your tour guide thing in Lisdoonvarna.”

She could tell she was rambling now, and coming across as more than a little desperate. But she’d been so looking forward to seeing Shane again, to bringing him into her world like he’d had the chance to do for her in his. Waiting was so difficult, the absence so painful to endure. Not to mention all the money she’d put toward his flights, everything she’d splurged on – all those prebooked activities that didn’t have cancellation policies. She could have used her bonus from Elliot toward her accommodations instead of staying on Bryn’s couch ruining her back. Could she even afford to reschedule the trip? It wasn’t like Shane had much money that he could contribute.

“My dad almost died, Keira,” Shane told her bluntly. “It’s not the same thing as me spending a month away from home once a year.”

“I know,” she said, meekly. “I don’t mean to be selfish. It’s just that I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too,” Shane replied, sighing deeply.

Keira’s throat felt thick with unhappiness. But she didn’t want to dwell, especially when it hadn’t been her relative in the ER. She made the decision to brighten up.

“I suppose there’s nothing to be done,” she said, sounding calmer than she really felt. “Let’s just sort out a date now so we don’t leave the trip in limbo. I don’t know how well I’ll cope not being able to count down the days.” She chuckled, trying to give the impression that she was way more okay than she really felt.

Once again, there was no reply from Shane. In the space where his voice should be, Keira could instead only hear the sound of a receptionist giving someone directions to the kidney dialysis ward.

“Shane?” she asked, timidly, when she’d had just about enough of the silence as she could stand.

Finally he spoke.

“I don’t think I can book another date,” Shane told her.

“Because of your dad? Shane, he’ll be better before you know it. Back on his feet, back to running the farm. I promise you, by November everything will be back to normal. Or if you prefer we could aim for December. That gives him ages to get back to work.”

“Keira,” Shane interrupted.

She snapped her lips shut, stopping the stream of consciousness that she knew she was engaging in as an avoidance tactic, to delay what she feared was coming next, a way of pausing the terrible inevitability of what Shane was about to say.

“I can’t come,” he stated. “Ever.”

Keira felt her hands begin to shake. Her phone felt suddenly clammy in her hand, like she didn’t have a proper grip on it.