Her Kind Of Doctor

Chavella glanced away as she pulled the strap of her tote higher onto her shoulder. “I think she expects you to return.”

The hollow feeling in Paige’s stomach spread until it culminated in a dull ache in the middle of her chest.

“I’ll have a talk with her. She needs to understand that I’m not coming back. Not for any reason.”

Disappointment clouded Chavella’s pretty features. “Oh. So you like the internal floor?”

“I like anywhere I’m needed,” she said evasively. She wasn’t going to come right out and admit that she’d been bored out of her mind for the past three nights. The morbidly quiet hallways of the third floor were nothing like the hustle and bustle of trauma patients rolling through the ER. And never in a million years would she reveal to Chavella, or anyone else, that she missed Dr. Sherman and his acid tongue. Even more, Paige missed his confident manner in treating the patients and his knack for being able to make a rapid diagnosis when every second counted. Most of all she missed having the solid strength of his presence and knowing he was only a few steps away if she needed him. “And the IM doctors only show up when they’re making rounds. Makes for a peaceful shift.”

Chavella smiled wanly. “I’m glad your transfer has turned out so well. You must be very happy.”

She’d never been more miserable in her life, but she gave the other nurse the brightest smile she could manage. “Thanks, Chavella. I think—yes, even though I miss you and the other nurses, this move was best for me. Tell everyone hello for me, won’t you?”

“What about Dr. Sherman? Do you have a message for him?”

Paige glanced around the parking lot as though she expected to see the man suddenly walking toward her. Which was a ridiculous reaction. Dr. Luke Sherman always remained at the hospital long after his shift ended. She didn’t know if that stemmed from dedication to his job, or because being a physician was the only thing he had going in his life.

“Chavella, you’re far too nice a person to repeat the words I’d have to say to Dr. Sherman,” she said ruefully.

The young nurse studied Paige with dark eyes that held far more wisdom than most women her age. “None of us nurses ever understood why he was always so hard on you, Paige. Most of us thought it was because he was...well, sweet on you. But now, I guess we were wrong.”

“Dead wrong,” Paige said bluntly.

Chavella cleared her throat. “I think he misses you. He’s not seemed the same since you left.”

In spite of his hateful words lingering at the edges of her thoughts, a bereft feeling shot through her. “Of course he isn’t the same,” she argued. “His whipping post is gone. So who is he yelling at now? Dear Lord, I hope it’s not you.”

“That’s what none of us nurses can figure out, Paige. He’s not yelling at anyone. He’s quiet. Scary quiet. We’ve all been tiptoeing around him, expecting him to explode at any moment. So far it hasn’t happened.”

Chavella’s news was like a knife to Paige’s chest. All this time she’d been telling herself that Dr. Luke Sherman was the type of man who would always need someone to browbeat, someone he could spew his bitterness at. She’d believed that once she was gone, he would move his insufferable treatment to another nurse. But apparently she’d been all wrong. For some reason she would never understand, it was her and only her that he’d wanted to hurt.

Trying to paste a smile on her lips, Paige said, “Well, that’s good news. With me gone there’ll be peace in the ER. I’m glad for all of you.”

Pressing her lips together, Chavella gazed back at the hospital building, which was now bathed in warm morning sunlight. “I don’t like it peaceful, Paige. I’m thinking I’ll go to Mr. Anderson and ask to be transferred, too.”

Paige instantly snatched up Chavella’s hand and patted it. “Oh, no, Chavella. Please, don’t do that. The ER is so important. It needs nurses like you, who are compassionate and dedicated. And what would Helen do if all of you started migrating out of there? She and the patients would be in trouble.”

The young nurse sighed. “Yes. I suppose you’re right,” she said glumly.

Paige gave Chavella’s hand another pat before she released it. “Cheer up. In two months Marcella’s maternity leave will be up and she’ll be returning to part-time work in the ER. She’ll make everything better.”

Chavella smiled faintly, but said nothing. Paige reached over and gave her shoulders a hug. “I need to get going. Why don’t you stop by the farm and have a cup of coffee with Grandfather? I don’t have to tell you how much he enjoys your company.”

“Maybe soon,” Chavella said, then sighed. “I promised Mother I would take her into Fallon this morning for grocery shopping. I keep hoping that one of these days she’ll learn how to drive a car.”

Grinning faintly, Paige suggested, “Maybe you should teach her.”

Chavella chuckled. “Then I might wind up as a patient in the emergency instead of a nurse.”

Paige laughed along with her, then after a brief goodbye, walked on to her car.

For the next few minutes Paige concentrated on maneuvering through the morning rush-hour traffic in the city, but once she was traveling on the open highway toward home, her thoughts turned to Chavella’s remarks.

I think he misses you. He’s not seemed the same since you left.

Could it be that Dr. Luke Sherman had actually noticed she’d been gone? Could he be missing her? No. He’d never miss her, Paige Winters, the woman. But he might be missing Nurse Winters.

Don’t be an idiot, Paige. Luke Sherman has never seen you as a woman. And if you worked at his side for another three years, he’d still see you as nothing more than a nurse. A nurse he loved to yell at and step on. Forget him. Forget the ER. And forget the empty feeling in the middle of your chest. You’ll get over it just like you got over David.

The mere thought of her ex-husband put a frown on Paige’s face. He’d been a liar and a cheat. And seven years ago, when she’d left him and his mistress behind in Reno, she’d basically pushed the idea of love and marriage out of her life. She didn’t need to go looking for another heartache. That had been her motto.

But earlier in the week, when she’d held Marcella’s daughter in her arms, she’d suddenly been swamped with loneliness and the feeling had startled her. All these years she’d lived as a single woman, she’d thought her life was complete. She’d never thought of herself as lonely. She’d never gone around longing for a husband or children. After all, she had her busy job at the hospital, along with helping her grandfather on his little farm. She didn’t need anything else.

But the night Paige had held newborn Daisy, something deeply maternal had called to her. Suddenly she’d been remembering how much she’d once wanted a man’s love. How much she’d longed to have babies and be a mother.

When Luke Sherman had spotted her tears, he’d accused her of being emotionally out of control. He couldn’t know that for the first time in years, she’d allowed herself to be a woman and all the feelings that went with it. But he wouldn’t care about that. No, with him it was always about rules and stipulations. Well, she’d stepped over that rigid line he expected her to follow and she had no intention of ever going back.

Forty-five minutes later, when she arrived home, she spotted Gideon and Rob Duncan in front of the barn, changing a tire on one of the tractors. As she exited the car and started to the house, both men waved to her. She waved back, but didn’t make a point to go greet them.

Rob had never hid the fact that he wanted to date her and though he was a nice, generally good-looking man, she was tired of repeatedly turning down his invitations, and Gideon didn’t seem to understand. As far as her grandfather was concerned, the neighboring farmer would be a good catch for Paige.

Inside, Paige changed into a pair of old jeans and a checked shirt, then went straight outside to the henhouse. She’d fed the chickens and was gathering the eggs that had been laid since yesterday, when Gideon stepped into the dimly lit structure.

“Hey, girl, couldn’t you find enough eggs in the house for your breakfast?”

Paige placed the last brown egg in the basket on her arm before stepping over to her grandfather. “I didn’t want any breakfast. I wanted to come out here. It makes me feel good to hear the hens cluck.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “What’s the matter—you don’t want to eat? You getting sick on me?”

“No, Grandfather. I’m fine.”

He lifted a worn gray cap from his head and swiped a hand over his hair. “Rob was wondering why you didn’t come say hello.”

Paige inwardly winced. “I waved hello to him.”

“The man is crazy about you, Paige. The least you can do is be friendly.”

Sighing, Paige shook her head. “He views being friendly as encouragement. And I don’t have any romantic interest in the man.”

“Maybe you should,” he retorted. “You could do a lot worse than to marry Rob.”

It wasn’t like Gideon to pry into her private life. Sometimes he suggested that she needed to get out more and do something fun with friends, but he’d never pushed her about men or marriage until recently.

“What’s the matter, Grandfather? Are you thinking I’m turning into an old, cranky spinster?”

“Hell, no. I...well, sometimes I get to thinking you’re wasting yourself living here with me. Never having much of a life of your own.”

Smiling now, she curled one arm around the back of his waist and gave him a squeeze. “Hush, Grandfather. Not one minute of my life is wasted when I’m with you. So if you’re getting tired of me, you’re out of luck. I’m not going anywhere. And you can tell that to Rob Duncan, too.”