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More Portmanteau Plays

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Год написания книги
2018
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JONATHAN

Why didn't you try to work?

HANK

Couldn't find nothing suitable. 'T first I felt sort o' worried an' then I kep' walkin' on and I seen so much trouble where I went I says to myself, "Hank, you're lucky," I says. "You ain't got no fam'ly to bother you an' you ain't got nothing to worry you an' you don't have to get no place in partic'lar and you don't have to stay no place." A man wot's got a wife's all the time worrying about her health or her money spendin' or her gaddin' or her naggin'. An' a man w'ots got a fam'ly's always wondering where they'll end. An' a man's wot's got a home's all time worrying about keepin' it locked up. I bet the poor nut wot owns this place can't breathe easy for bein' scared things'll be took or burnt up. W'y you—look at you—(Whistles) You're wishin' I'd go 'cause you're 'fraid I'll take somethin'. I won't take nothin', young feller, 'cause I don't need nothin' now and I won't need nothin' till it's cold again—and then I'll git an overcoat maybe. It's too much trouble takin' things—'cause you have to carry 'em. (Whistles) You goin' to let me sleep here some place?

JONATHAN

I can't. My uncle would drive you away. Maybe he'd have you arrested.

HANK

I ain't done nothin'. I ain't hurtin' nobody.

JONATHAN

Well, he doesn't allow strangers around.

HANK (Whistles. At the window)

That's where I went by jus' now.

JONATHAN

I heard you whistling.

HANK

That's a tune I made up once. (Whistles)

JONATHAN

Do you make up tunes?

HANK

That's the only one I ever done. It comes in handy and it don't hurt no one.

[Jonathan unconsciously tries to whistle a phrase of the tune.

HANK

No, that ain't it. It's this way.

[Whistles.

Jonathan tries it again and fails.

No. Here.

Jonathan makes it this time.

HANK

That's it. Say, what you got these bars for? It's like jail. Are they afraid you'll jump out on them rocks?

JONATHAN

No, I guess not. There isn't much danger of my wanting to jump out.

HANK

You never can tell for sure, young feller.

JONATHAN

It's to keep people from climbing in.

HANK

There ain't no bars over that one. (Pointing to gable window)

JONATHAN

That's too high.

HANK

It'd be like fallin' off the top of a house, wouldn't it?

[Whistles.

Jonathan whistles "All on a Summer's Day."

HANK

What you got there?

JONATHAN

That's my theatre.

HANK

A show?

JONATHAN
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