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More Portmanteau Plays

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Год написания книги
2018
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JONATHAN

You wouldn't leave me, would you, Hank?

HANK

Sure, I'd leave you.... What do you think I am—a wishing stone?… I want peace, I do.... An' your wishing's disturbing my peace.... Every day fer six years you squeal about what you done.... Your Uncle John swatted you and you burned your theatre things and jumped out o' the window and broke your back and I saved you....

JONATHAN

I can't do anything with a broken back!

HANK

What do you want to do anything for?

JONATHAN

Sometimes I'd like to write a little.

HANK

Go ahead.... I'll wait for you.

JONATHAN

And I'd like to give a show. You know, Hank, I used to want to be an actor....

HANK

Sure, all kids want to be actors or go in a circus or do something where a lot o' people are lookin' on.

JONATHAN

But I can't be an actor now, because nobody'd want to look at me.

HANK

You act like that hump's ruined your life, when all you got to do's crouch over a little more and look sad and you can get anything you want. Why, it's money in your pocket, that's what that hump is; it's money in your pocket.

[He closes the conversation by whistling.

Say, go on over to that house and get us something to eat.

[Jonathan prepares for the quest and Hank rolls over to go to sleep.

As Jonathan crosses, lights disclose a hill with pleasant green slopes. At its foot stands a little cottage, all cool and pleasant with great glass doors. There are no locks and bolts to keep one out or to keep one in. A high plaster and brick wall flanks the cottage.

As Jonathan nears the cottage he meets Uncle John, whose austerity is more apparent than ever.

Jonathan cowers a moment, then attempts to smile.

JONATHAN

Hank said you'd turn me away if I came back.

JOHN

Were you talking to me, boy?

JONATHAN

I'm so sorry I ran away, Uncle John.

JOHN

Uncle John?

JONATHAN

Don't you know me, Sir?

JOHN

Indeed I do not.

JONATHAN

I'm Jonathan—

JOHN

Jonathan! My nephew Jonathan?—Ha! Ha!

JONATHAN

Don't you remember I didn't want to study engineering—I didn't want to go to Somerset School?

JOHN

Where is Jonathan?

JONATHAN

I'm Jonathan, sir. You remember I jumped out of the window and I tried to run away.

JOHN

You seem to know a lot about it. Where is Jonathan?

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