Resisting Her Army Doc Rival

‘Why are there civilians waiting outside the camp?’

‘They’re hoping to see a doctor or nurse.’

Her heart tightened for the sad-looking bunch of people. They appeared helpless, lost even. It took all her willpower not to drop her pack and race across to ask what she could do for them. That was one of the reasons she’d joined the army after all. ‘I want to help them.’

‘It’s not that easy, Madison.’

‘Why not?’ She flung the words at him. ‘It’s why I became a doctor. Isn’t it the same for you?’

He took her question on the chin. ‘I understand, but out here you’re a soldier first, doctor second.’

‘So you’re saying we ignore those people?’ Her hand flapped through the air in the direction of the perimeter. ‘Seriously?’

‘No, I’m not.’ Sam’s mouth tightened as his gaze stopped on the people she’d noted. ‘We do see some of the locals under a strict system involving body searches and metal detectors before bringing them in.’

‘We don’t hold regular clinics?’ She’d been told she would be attending to outsiders, and had been keen to get amongst them.

‘More than enough,’ he grunted, ‘but so many people require medical attention it’d be a never-ending stream if we allowed it.’ Sam locked his now fierce eyes on her. ‘We do our share. Remember why you’re here, Captain.’

‘But there are children out there.’ She couldn’t help wanting to help each and every person in that crowd waiting quietly as though they had nothing better to do, but especially the children. They were pulling at her heartstrings already. It would be a struggle not being allowed to put her medical skills to good use as she wanted when there were people needing them. That was why she’d trained in the first place, to make life better for others, especially children now that she likely wouldn’t be having any herself.

‘Yes, there are. Cute as buttons some of them, too.’ His face softened briefly.

‘They look so desperate.’

Sam shook himself and growled, ‘Don’t be fooled. They’re not all what they seem.’ He started walking again.

‘They’re not?’ But he didn’t, or chose not to, hear her.

On a sigh she changed the subject. For now. ‘I’ll see you around. I need to find my quarters.’

‘I’ll—’

‘I don’t think so. Major Crooks gave me directions.’ Then she added lamely, just in case Sam didn’t get the point, ‘He’s been here before.’ Having this man escort her through the camp was not happening. She required a few minutes to put her left-field reaction to him into perspective. He might be a sight to behold, and a face from the past, but she had to learn to stand strong and inviolate. Vulnerability might’ve become her norm lately, but it was one of the things she was working hard to overcome. So when her danger sonar said be aware of this man, she was going to push him away.

‘I was about to say I’ll see you later in the medical unit, where I can introduce you to everyone.’ He stared at her, annoyance vying with interest in those eyes that appeared to notice far too much, his mouth flat at last.

While her mouth ached with the tight smile she was trying to keep in place. Her eyes had better be fierce, not showing her true concerns about this exchange. Having anyone know her inner turmoil would see her back on that plane, heading home. ‘Yes, Captain.’

His face instantly became inscrutable, every last thought and emotion snapped off with the flick of a switch. Her tense muscles tightened further. She’d gone too far. He didn’t deserve her attitude, but a woman had to look out for herself. Especially in a place she did not understand. In a fit of pique for coming second to her in an exam result Sam had once told her she was a spoilt little rich brat, and right now she was proving him correct. He’d also said she knew nothing about the real world. If only he knew. Back up. She didn’t want him to know about the disaster that flipped her life upside down.

Suddenly she was tired of it all; exhausted from the trip, from the heat, from the short but stupid conversation with Sam. She wanted to get on with him, maybe get to know him a little—without falling into that grin. ‘I look forward to learning the ropes from you.’

‘I’ll see you later.’ Sam’s boots clicked together, then he spun around to stride away, his back ramrod straight, his hands clenched at his sides.

He’s better looking than ever. Shut up. But it was true. The boyishly handsome and beguiling face had become chiselled, mature, and worthy of more than a glance. As was that muscular bod. Her traitorous body was reacting to the thought of what his army fatigues covered. Only because there’d been a sex drought in her life for so long, surely? Not that Sam would be the rain that broke it, even if her body was thinking otherwise.

Heatstroke. Had to be. But she’d been out in the sun less than half an hour. Admitting things about a man she’d met minutes earlier would have more to do with her wobbly state of mind. Things that weren’t conducive to working alongside him. Captain Lowe. Remember that and forget his looks, his muscles, and that open face she’d managed to shut down. But she was female after all and did enjoy being around a good-looking guy. She wasn’t immune to physical attributes that would send any breathing, feeling woman into orbit. Despite the fact that letting down the barriers so that a man could get close would take more guts than she possessed, she could still appreciate perfection when she saw it.

Maddy shook her head abruptly. You came here to do a job, not to fire up your hormones. Experience had taught her that she couldn’t do casual sex; she had to have some connection with a lover. When she’d fallen in love she’d known it had been worth the wait. Until that man, who had become her husband, had pulverised her heart along with her confidence, and she was back to square one. She was unlikely to ever forget Jason’s appalled reaction to her disfigured body. She’d believed in his love. Now she knew not to expect any different from any man, so knew keeping safe was entirely up to herself.

‘Captain? Your room is number three in that block behind the mess hall.’ A soldier appeared in her line of vision, a clipboard in his hand, thankfully blotting out that irritating sight of long legs and tight backside that had her in a spin.

‘Thank you, Private,’ she acknowledged as she turned in the right direction.

One step and Madison froze.

Thick smoke billowed above a hut on the far perimeter.

A chill slithered down her spine, lifted the hairs on her arms. Her heart leapt into her throat. She forgot to breathe. ‘No.’ The word crawled out of her mouth as fear swamped her. ‘No-o.’ Smoke meant fire. No, please, no. She couldn’t deal with that. Not today. Not ever. Not again. Anything else, yes. Move. Run. Someone could be trapped inside the hut. Move. She remained transfixed, staring at that murky column rising into the air, twisting, spiralling out of control.

‘Move, damn it.’ Do something. But her boots were filled with concrete. ‘I can’t.’ Her fingers touched her midriff, not feeling the scars through her uniform, but they were there, as familiar to her touch as her face in a mirror was to her sight.

‘Madison?’ Sam stood in front of her.

She tried to look away from that smoke. She really did. But her eyes had a mind of their own, were fixated with the swirling, growing cloud. As the smoke darkened, horror darkened her soul. Knots cramped her stomach. Bile spewed into her mouth, soured her tongue. Finally her lungs moved, expanded slowly against her chest.

Strong hands caught her upper arms, shook her. ‘Captain Hunter, what’s the problem?’

The air stalled in her lungs again. Breathe out slowly; one, two, three. Now in, one, two. ‘There’s a fire.’ She jerked her chin in the right direction as her lungs contracted, forcing hot air through her mouth.

Sam glanced where she’d indicated. ‘That’s not smoke. It’s a dust whirl. Get used to it. We get plenty around here.’ That intense stare returned to her face. What was he seeing? Apart from someone who should be behaving like a soldier? And clearly wasn’t.

‘You’re sure? You haven’t gone to check it out.’

‘I’m sure.’

Her knees sagged, and her shoulders drooped further into his strong grip. Air escaped her lungs again. ‘D-dust I can cope with.’ Phew. She was safe; she didn’t have to rush into roaring flames to rescue Granddad, pull him free of burning timbers. Except she hadn’t managed to save him. A blazing beam had seen to that. The sweat on her back chilled, her damaged skin prickled. Granddad.

Someone was shaking her. Sam. Of course. ‘Madison, look at me.’

I can’t do that. He’d see right inside, would know she was a screw-up. Nothing like the confident girl who used to cope with everything and had always been a success. She certainly didn’t used to do vulnerable. Digging deep, she tried to find that Madison, but she was long gone. Burned in the midst of a fire. ‘I’m all right. I don’t mind dust.’ That scratchy sound coming across her tongue was not her usual voice; instead, it sounded like a cat when its tail was stomped on.

‘You won’t be saying that for long. It never goes away, coats every damned surface, and gets into places you won’t believe.’

But it won’t kill me, or scar my body, or terrify me. Or take someone I love. Or change my life for ever. Shaking in her boots, she continued staring at the thinning cloud as it changed direction to head away from the buildings. A grenade had been lobbed at her within minutes of arriving. This place was not good for her.

Just as well Sam still held her. To hit the ground with thirty kilos on her back would hurt, and write her off as a loser in everyone’s eyes.

Did he know he was rubbing her arms with his thumbs? Couldn’t, or he’d stop immediately. She didn’t want that. Not yet. She needed the contact, the comfort, which showed how messed up she was. She was an officer in the New Zealand army, for pity’s sake. ‘It’s truly only dust?’

‘Yes, Madison, not smoke.’

The unexpected gentleness in his voice nearly undid her. She wasn’t used to that tone from men any more, and it reached inside to tear at her heart, slashed at the barricades she kept wound tight. She tilted forward, drawn by an invisible thread, needing to get closer. Her brain was begging Sam to wrap his arms around her.

Her chin flipped up. Under pressure from her pack she straightened her spine and locked her eyes on his. He’d have her back on that plane heading home quick smart if he knew what she wanted of him. Good idea. That’d get her away from here and everything she suspected was going to test her over the coming weeks and months. Something at the back of her mind was pushing forward. I am not a coward. Not even a little one? No. Not even a tiny one. Messed up? Yes. But she would not add coward to her CV. Twisting her head away from that all-seeing gaze, she locked her eyes on the dust that had ripped her equilibrium apart.

‘Dust can be a nuisance. Dirty and scratchy.’ Slowly, one shallow breath at a time, her lungs relaxed, returned to doing their job properly. There was little resemblance to smoke in that whirl. She’d made an idiot of herself. ‘Thanks for rectifying my mistake,’ she whispered.