One Winter's Night: The Twelve Dates of Christmas / Frozen Heart, Melting Kiss / A Cadence Creek Christmas

“I think this is kinda nuts.”

“It’s been a long, hard couple of years for both of us. Maybe one night of I-don’t-care is in order.”

“One night of I-don’t-care?”

“One night of forgetting everything and just having a good time.”

She picked up her shot. “I could handle that.”

They downed the tequila. She shuddered in distaste but laughed, and when the band began to play again, they were both more comfortable.

The music shifted to a quiet, mellow tune, and he pulled her into his arms for a slow dance. She melted against him. Loose from the tequila, he rested his chin on the top of her head and inhaled the fragrance of her hair. For the first time in eighteen months, he just let go.

When the band took a break, they took another shot and washed it down with a glass of champagne. Dancing took a lot of the sting out of the alcohol. Still, by the time they returned to her apartment, they were just tipsy enough to clamor up the stairs.

The “shh” she sent back to him from the step above his only made him laugh.

When they stopped in front of her apartment door, she said, “We’re gonna get me kicked out of my building.”

He put his hands on her shoulders. He wasn’t one for medicating pain with alcohol, but tonight wasn’t about getting rid of pain. It had been about acknowledging it and telling it to go to hell for a few hours.

“If I get you kicked out of your building, I’ll find you another apartment.”

She snorted a laugh. “Laura Beth and I can barely afford the one we have.”

Her words slurred endearingly. He smiled stupidly. “I had a good time.”

“So I’m guessing you’re thinking we should have tequila shots at every party.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want to form any bad habits, but...” He glanced around, searching his alcohol-numbed brain for the words that should follow that but, and in the end he couldn’t help stating the obvious. “It was good to loosen up a bit. I really had fun.”

She put her hands on his chest. “Doesn’t happen for you much, does it?”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t happen at all.”

“So, I’m good for you.”

She was. When her life didn’t make him feel like an ingrate, she was. Thinking of her, instead of himself, instead of his grief, instead of his guilt, was so much easier.

The urge to kiss her swam through his blood, making it tingle. But it was the very fact that he was so tempted that stopped him. She was good for him. But he wasn’t good for her. He was broken. She was broken, too. But that meant she needed someone strong, someone filled with love to shower her with affection. And that wasn’t him.

He stepped back. “Good night, Eloise.”

“Do you realize that’s the first time you’ve said my name?”

“I say your name all the time.”

“Yeah, when you introduce me.” Her gazed locked with his. “But you’ve never said it to me.”

The urge to kiss her shimmied through him again. She was so pretty, so perfect. So wonderful sometimes. And thanks to Preston he knew her lips were as soft as a cloud, the inside of her mouth like silk.

He took a step closer.

She put her hands on his lapels again and slid them up his chest.

Need surged. Not just from the intimacy of her touch, but from hope. He longed for her to put her hands around his neck, something she didn’t do in their very proper dancing. He yearned for her to hold him. To hug him. To pull him close.

Instead, she straightened his tie and smiled up at him.

She wouldn’t make the first move, but she clearly was telling him she wanted him to kiss her.

Desire pleaded with him. Just do it. Just bend your head. Just kiss her.

His breath faltered. Dear God, he wanted this.

But he knew himself. When the tequila wore off, he’d regret it. And even if he didn’t, he’d leave her. Not in a big, splashy departure scene. But after these parties, he’d stop calling. He’d drift back to his own dark, quiet world because his guilt wouldn’t let him handle the bright optimistic world she wanted. And he’d forget her.

He would hurt a woman who’d been hurt enough.

He closed his fingers around her hands and removed them from his lapel. “Good night, Eloise.”

Then he turned and walked away, his mouth yearning for a kiss, his limbs longing to hold her, his heart telling him he was a fool.

* * *

Ten o’clock the next morning, Eloise’s pride could no longer hold off the pounding in her head. She rose from her desk and walked into the employee break room, where she rifled through the cabinet above the sink until she found painkillers.

Getting water from the cooler beside the refrigerator, she glanced up sharply when Tina Horner walked in with her empty mug and ambled to the coffeemaker.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.” She popped the two pills into her mouth, chugged her water and headed for the door and up the hall to her office. She and Tina weren’t supposed to leave their cabinets full of confidential files unattended. A fact Tina frequently forgot...or ignored...because she was a full-time employee with little fear of being fired or replaced.

A few seconds later, Tina caught up with her. “Come on. You can’t tell me nothing’s wrong. I’ve worked beside you for weeks. You never need painkillers.”

“Ricky and I went to a party last night.”

Tina’s face glowed with curiosity. “Another formal one?”

“Yep.”

“On a Thursday?”

“Rich people don’t need to keep the same schedule you and I do. I’m guessing if there’s a party on Thursday, they don’t work on Friday.”

Tina took the left at the hall that led to their office. “So while you’re here nursing a hangover, your date’s probably still in bed?”

“Yep.” But now that she thought about it, she doubted it. She’d never met anybody with the work ethic Ricky had. Plus, he had enough technology in his den that he could work in his pajamas. The thought made her laugh.