Why Not Tonight

“May I?”

She nodded and he approached to study her work-in-progress.

The finished piece would be large—maybe two feet by four feet. The canvas lay flat on the largest of the work spaces. She’d applied two coats of flat white paint to seal the material before drawing the outline of her dragon in pencil.

“I’m going to do a night scene,” she said. “I haven’t found the right material for the sky. I’m thinking I want something with texture like beads or maybe pebbles. The white showing through will be the stars.”

She picked up a few of the torn pieces of paper she’d piled on the desk. “I’m not sure about these. Maybe bits of fabric would be better.”

“They’d handle light differently,” he said. “Do you want me to make you some black glass beads for the sky?”

“No! Are you insane? Ronan, no. You can’t. You have a multimillion-dollar commission you need to be working on. I can buy glass beads.”

“If you don’t have a strong opinion,” he said, his voice teasing.

“Make me glass beads,” she grumbled. “As if.”

He pulled up a chair and sat next to her. “Does the inspiration always come from what you have around, or do you find your vision determines what you’re going to use?”

“Both. I thought of dragons the second I drove up the mountain, so that’s where the idea came from. Then I used what I could find in here.” She grinned. “It’s a pretty sweet setup. I have great light in my home studio, but it’s just a boring bedroom. This is so much better.” She glanced toward the window. “I would love to see what it’s like up here when the sun has been shining for days. You have southern exposure. It makes me wish I was a better painter.” She wrinkled her nose. “But we all know that’s not going to happen.”

“You like working in paper.”

“I do. It’s fun. Not just the origami, but other things. I’ve done a few paper mobiles for baby gifts. That’s been interesting. Sometimes Pallas asks me to help with a wedding.”

“Nick’s Pallas?” He sounded surprised.

She nodded. “You do remember that she owns a destination wedding business, right? Couples come from all over to be married at Weddings Out of the Box.”

“I’ve heard rumors, yes.”

“Most of the weddings are variations on a theme, but every now and then one of them is totally custom. If there’s something I can do to help, I will. It’s fun for me and a nice bonus for the income stream. One of the Valentine’s Day weddings was all things hearts. Not original considering, but still. I made origami hearts that held the place cards for the reception, and a lot of bigger folded hearts for decorations. Last year for an under-the-sea wedding, I made little turtles and starfish that were scattered on the tables.” A lot of work, but she’d enjoyed the challenge.

“Nick helps Pallas with a lot of her decorations,” Ronan said. “He enjoys the work.”

“You made the glowy orbs for the alien wedding.” She remembered how cool they’d looked with all the other decorations. “It’s nice to be a part of things. Maybe I should learn to do caricatures.”

“For weddings?”

“At the reception. As a memento. I’d have to be really fast, though, which probably takes a lot of practice.”

“You’re not going to settle on just one thing, are you?”

“Maybe if I could sell it for a lot of money,” she said with a laugh. “I love being an artist, but I do enjoy paying my bills. For the right price, I could be bought.”

Her record sale had been for nearly two thousand dollars, but that had been for an entire collection, and for a fundraiser. She hadn’t seen a cent. She’d yet to sell a single piece for more than three hundred dollars, and she had to split her sad little payment with the gallery. Oh, to be in the four-figure range.

She glanced at Ronan. His pieces sold for several hundred thousand dollars. What must that be like, to never have to worry about money? She and her mom had always pinched pennies, but her mom had made it fun—like a game. Their frugal habits had served her well as an adult.

Having a baby would be a financial responsibility, she thought as she remembered her baby daddy app. She would need savings and more regular income and better medical insurance.

Ronan frowned. “What are you thinking? You’re looking fierce about something.”

“Just that I might not be ready to have a baby by myself.”

“Rethinking the app?”

“I’m still going to play with it, but I’m not ready for a donor at this exact moment.” But if she started seriously planning, then maybe in the next year or so.

She knew she wanted a family—connection. She talked about having bad luck with men because it was an easy almost-truth. The real story was harder and more painful. First she’d lost her mother, her only family. Later, when Quentin had dumped her, she’d not only lost the man she’d loved, she’d lost the promise of belonging. Until he’d told her otherwise, she’d believed that his family cared about her and wanted her to be one of them. But she’d been wrong and once again she’d been left alone. A baby would mean being part of something again.

She would have to think on it and decide what was the most important to her. Was she willing to work full-time and put her art on the back burner for the chance to belong? Because that would mean she could get pregnant much sooner. Life, it seemed, was always about choices.

“Come on,” she said, standing and walking to the door. “I defrosted some cooked chicken and a loaf of bread overnight. I thought we could have chicken salad sandwiches for dinner.” She paused by the door and wiggled her eyebrows at him. “I’ll even cook.”

“Impressive.”

“I know, right? Oh, and maybe we could eat in the family room instead of the dining room.”

He paused in midstride and stared at her. “Why?” he asked, his voice more than a little suspicious.

“I thought we could watch a movie.”

“Uh-huh. Which one?”

“Which one do you think?”

“Not Frozen. I mean that, Natalie. We are not watching a kids’ movie over dinner.”

She walked onto the landing and started down the stairs. “It’s so strange. I know you’re talking but all I hear is a buzzing sound.”

* * *

NATALIE WAITED UNTIL the credits finished rolling before turning to Ronan. “Admit it. You have to. You know I’m right. You loved every single minute of it.”

Ronan leaned back in the big sofa and shook his head. “I’m not admitting anything.” Then he glanced at her. One corner of his mouth turned up in the sexiest way possible. “It was okay.”

She threw a pillow at him. “You are so lying. It was wonderful. You laughed, you got scared, you were totally engaged.”