Tempting

He ignored the desire and the memories, then lightly knocked on the closed study door.

“Come in.”

He stepped into the small cozy room and smiled at his mother. “You’re still up.”

She rose and stepped around her desk to kiss him on the cheek. “I said I would be.” She took his hand and led him to the small sofa by the window. “I suddenly have reports due on all my charities. It always happens this time of year and I’m always surprised. I wish I were one of those organized women who go through life with a plan.”

“You have eight children. You get slack.”

She smiled as she angled toward him on the couch. “You and Julie are both living on your own. Ian is more independent by the day.”

Alex smiled. “So you’re only worrying about five children, then. You’re right. You should do better.”

She laughed. “I see your point. I can make excuses if I want and people will understand. Honestly, I’d prefer to be more together, but I’ll take what I can get.”

And she would do it all because duty came first. She believed that and she’d raised him to believe it, too.

Alex remembered the first time he’d seen Katherine Canfield. He remembered her eyes—how blue they’d been and how kind. She’d touched him as they’d spoken. Her hand on his, her fingers on his shoulder. No adults ever touched him, except to hit him. The other boys had tried to beat him up, but he’d been tough.

She’d been pretty and gentle and when she’d smiled he’d known he would do anything for her if only she would take him home and adopt him.

She had. She’d loved him with a fierceness that had made him feel safe for the first time in his life. She had a heart that gave and gave. Sometimes, when he saw her with his father, he wondered if she gave too much…to all of them.

Now, he took her hand and gently squeezed her fingers.

“Mom,” he began, only to have her shake her head.

“Don’t worry about speeches,” she said quietly, her gaze meeting his. “I already know. Dani is Mark’s daughter.”

“How did you guess?”

She shrugged. “I sensed it the moment I saw her. There’s plenty of Mark in her appearance—the way she holds her head, the shape of her chin. Your father will be delighted.”

“What about you?” he asked.

She leaned toward him. “That’s my question for you. How are you handling all this?”

“Finding out he has a biological daughter?”

Katherine nodded. “It doesn’t mean anything. You know that, right? It doesn’t change how he feels about you.”

That’s what Alex had told Ian. Neither of them had believed it then and Alex didn’t believe it now.

“Everything changes,” he told his mother. “The family dynamic has fundamentally shifted. Am I questioning my place in the universe? No.”

“I’m more concerned about your place in this family and how you think this will affect your relationship with your father.”

Alex didn’t know if it would. Mark wasn’t like Katherine. He loved his children, but there was always a distance. Would that be there for Dani or not?

“You’re his wife,” he said. “Are you okay with this?”

Katherine leaned back in the sofa and sighed. “Do I get a choice?” she asked.

“He didn’t cheat on you. You were back East when he met Marsha Buchanan.”

His mother nodded slowly. “You’re right. I’ve told myself that. It’s just…” She looked at him. “We’d been engaged before he returned to Seattle. We had a big fight and I broke up with him. He left and came back here. That’s when he met Marsha.”

Alex swore silently. Why did life have to get more and more complicated? So Mark’s affair with Marsha Buchanan wasn’t as disconnected from Katherine as Alex had first thought.

What had they fought about? Did his mother care that Mark had gotten involved with someone else so quickly?

Stupid question, he told himself. Katherine would have been devastated. Had she known about Marsha before Dani had shown up?

“I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly, not knowing what he could say.

“It’s fine,” she told him. “Don’t worry about it.”

But he did worry. He’d always wondered why his parents hadn’t had children of their own. He’d assumed it was a conscious decision. A choice. Katherine talked about wanting to make a difference in the world, one child at a time. But was there another reason? Mark was obviously capable of fathering a child. Did Katherine have a problem?

He felt disloyal for even thinking the question, so he pushed it away. What the hell did it matter why? She was an amazing woman.

“I’m glad you picked me,” he said. “Grateful. You made me who I am.”

She touched his face. “I loved you from the first moment I saw you, Alex. But I didn’t make you anything. You are the man you were meant to be. I’m so proud of you, but I won’t take any credit. Flowers, maybe, but not credit.”

He laughed. “I’ll send starburst lilies in the morning.” They were her favorite.

He didn’t know what other children felt about their parents. How much they loved them or why. He could only go by the little he remembered of his biological mother and what he knew Katherine had done for him—even if she wasn’t willing to accept his thanks.