Hers for the Weekend

The impatient waiter clearing his throat stopped her from snapping a comeback.

“Perhaps I return in a few minutes?” the man offered.

Glancing from his menu to Piper, Josh said, “I know how much you like the Sicilian specialty. Want to just get that?”

Piper nodded, and the waiter shuffled off, appeased.

Josh immediately returned to the subject of her faux love life. “I don’t get it. What made you lie to your mom? You never lie. Having witnessed you turn away persistent men at Touchdown, I would even say that you’re sometimes painfully honest.”

Lowering her gaze to the red-and-white checkered tablecloth, she mumbled, “I didn’t set out to lie, exactly. I just exaggerated.”

“Piper, when was the last time you had a date?”

“Okay, fine, I lied. I had to get off the phone! She called to remind me that I’m the unmarried shame of the family, and I cracked. I told her I had to run because I was meeting someone for dinner.”

“And based on a supposed dinner date, she’s now booking a church and auditioning caterers.”

“For a guy who’s never met my mother, you have a very clear understanding of her.”

“You paint a vivid picture.”

Piper bit her lower lip. “I have a real problem here.”

“Nah, this isn’t serious. A problem was Michelle. I can’t believe she honestly expected me to remember her cat’s birthday. And stalking me for two weeks like that after the breakup—”

“Maybe if you took the time to get to know some of these women before you went out with them, you’d pick up on little things like personality disorders.” Piper hadn’t meant to sound so snippy, but it annoyed her sometimes to watch Josh waste himself on a string of superficial relationships. Didn’t he realize he had more to offer than that?

“Piper, people go out in order to get to know each other, and I’m not sure I want dating advice from a girl who hasn’t been on one since the Nixon administration.”

“Ha-ha. As if my family encouraged me to date as an infant.” Though they probably would have if they’d known then how difficult it would be to marry her off.

“What I was saying,” he continued, “is that I don’t see why this is a serious problem. Let your mom think whatever she wants. Tell them he couldn’t make it this weekend. Or that you broke up with the guy. Problem solved.”

If only it were that easy. “I would, but Mom said it would really benefit Nana to see me with—” she groaned inwardly, “—‘a good man.”’

His gaze locked with hers. “How is your grandmother?”

“Hanging in there, but…apparently not doing so well.” She swallowed. “Last time we spoke, I argued with her. She was giving me more well-meaning advice on how to live my life, and I told her I was an adult and didn’t need or want her interference. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Josh reached his hand across the table, and it hovered over hers. At the last minute he grabbed the bread basket as though that had been his intention all along.

She wasn’t surprised that he shied away. Typical Josh. Weird that he dated and kissed and she-didn’t-want-to-know-what-else with so many women, yet simple touches made him uncomfortable. Piper had grown up in a hug-oriented family herself, but she tried to respect the personal perimeter he maintained.

Though she had no trouble telling Josh about the familial reasons for needing a stand-in date, Piper didn’t mention Charlie. Josh knew that she’d once dated Rebecca’s current mayor, but Piper had downplayed the seriousness of the relationship. She was embarrassed that she, a modern independent woman, had been slowly altering everything from her work schedule to the way she wore her hair. It wasn’t something she liked to think about, let alone discuss.

“So.” Josh cleared his throat. “You’re really going to take some guy home with you?”

“If I can find one,” she said as the waiter approached. He set their pizza on the table, and Josh distributed the first cheesy slices. They ate in silence, mulling over her situation. At least, she was mulling. For all she knew, Josh was checking out a cute waitress.

To some, asking Josh to accompany her might seem an obvious answer. He’d certainly been willing to do her favors in the past—from free labor on her car to late-night assassinations of Texas-size spiders in her apartment. But this was different. While Josh came across as a people person who could shoot the breeze with anyone, he was intensely private. Piper had watched more than one woman lose him after pressuring him to “open up.” A few days of Piper’s meddling relatives interrogating him would doubtless be his idea of hell. Besides, how insensitive would she have to be to invite a man who’d never had a real family to a large family reunion?

So, with Josh out of the question, who was she going to ask? Instead of eating with her usual gusto, she nibbled her food, thinking out loud. “Most of the men I know are from work, and I can’t ask any of them.”

Josh nodded. “They might misconstrue the invitation, and you’d be in violation of the company’s fraternization policy.”

Plus she couldn’t ask any of them for a huge favor when she wasn’t exactly Ms. Popular at the office. She couldn’t afford to chat in the break room when she was determined to prove herself, to get ahead in a field dominated by men. And she deliberately minimized any feminine assets, which some people had interpreted to mean she was aloof and hard. Though she and Josh had always gotten along professionally, they hadn’t truly become friends until they’d run into each other in their building’s laundry room.

“You know any nice guys?” she asked.

“I keep in touch with a few frat brothers from college, but I’m having trouble picturing you with anyone I once watched do a keg stand, then throw up on the front steps.”

“What about that guy you coach softball with every spring? Adam?”

Josh worked with kids from underprivileged neighborhoods from March to June, and Piper had met Josh’s co-coach during last year’s district playoffs. Good-looking man, but she and Josh had agreed never to date each other’s friends after an awkward situation when he’d broken up with one of Piper’s former college classmates—another casualty of the Joshua Weber charm. Piper really pitied those women.

An unexpected thought struck her. Sure, she pitied them now, but how would she feel toward his dates if he ever showed a real attachment to one of them? Her stomach churned, but she told herself it was just the stress of her reunion predicament, nothing more.

“Adam would actually be a great choice for you to take to your parents,” Josh agreed, “but he’s in Vancouver on an extended business trip until after Halloween. Besides, what would I say? ‘You remember my friend Piper—she needs a fake boyfriend.”’

“I have to find someone.” She sat back, staring blankly across the table.

What would happen if she just told her family the truth—that she was single and liked it that way? You know what would happen. Charlie. The man had blond, all-American good looks and had been born into Rebecca’s top social level. Granted, Rebecca wasn’t big enough to have many levels, but the point was, he was used to getting his way. He’d seemed more bemused than upset when she’d broken their engagement, and she got the impression he was waiting for her to come to her senses.

Josh swallowed nervously. “Exactly why are you looking at me like that?”

Blinking, she chuckled at his wary tone. “Relax. I’m not asking you to come with me. I just needed a sympathetic ear.”

He quickly replaced his guarded expression with a smile meant to be casual, but his relief was so palpable it was practically a third person in the booth. “Hey, here’s an idea, what about a man from the gym? You’re there every other morning. You’ve gotta know some guys.”

“No, I spend most of my time with Gina. Or working out alone. I avoid eye contact with men so I don’t end up trapped on the treadmill, fending off unoriginal lines like, ‘Come here often?”’

“I can’t help but notice you avoid men most everywhere you go.”

“The last thing I expected from you is the Piper-needs-a-man speech.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “I get it from plenty of other people.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that. You definitely don’t ‘need’ a guy. You’re the most together woman I know.” He flashed a wicked smile. “And I know lots of women.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Give me something to work with,” he prompted. “What did you tell your mom about this mystery man?”

“I told her he had dark hair—”

“Good. Thousands of guys must have dark hair.”

“—and that he was tall—”

He laughed. “Compared to you, everyone’s tall.”