Motherhood Without Parole

But that’s just because he trusts you and knows you can do this. Whereas Lily’s little pop-ins, unsolicited advice and frequent offers to assist seemed to stem from a suspicion that Kate wasn’t cut out to be a mom. Well, by the end of the month Lily would just have to admit she was wrong.

“I guess going to the pool would be okay,” Neve allowed, sounding a lot like royalty who’d just deigned to spend the afternoon with commoners.

“So why don’t we all change into our bathing suits and meet downstairs when we’re ready?” Kate had been working too many hours to loll around poolside this summer, but she assumed the suit she’d taken on her honeymoon still fit.

In the privacy of the master bathroom she tugged the supportive top into place and checked her butt in the mirror. Assured that the navy-blue one-piece with dark green detailing wouldn’t send anyone running from the pool area, she tossed some sunscreen and a paperback novel into a shoulder bag, along with several oversize towels. Once she got downstairs, it struck her as comically ironic that she’d worried about her suit being indecent.

While PJ looked the way an eight-year-old boy should—scruffy but adorable in baggy SpongeBob trunks and an orange tank top with a frayed hem—his older sister looked as if she might be auditioning for the lead in Lolita.

“Where did you get that bikini?” Kate hadn’t meant to sound shrill, but her stepdaughter didn’t seem to notice the tone.

Neve stretched, showing off the suit. Not that there was enough material to make it a legitimate article of clothing. “I spent Spring Break with my friend Krista, remember? She and I got matching bikinis, only hers is green.”

Kate had assumed Neve was developing curves, as young women normally do, but she’d never seen them showcased in scraps of hot-pink, with white plastic rings holding together the bra cups and connecting the front and back fabric on the bottom. Lord, seeing his granddaughter in this getup was probably what landed Lily’s father in the hospital.

Kate took a deep breath. “I’m all for fashion, Neve, honestly. But until your dad gets back, I’m trying to do the best job I can to…to fill in for him. Do you think he’d want you to go to the pool dressed—” undressed “—like that?”

The adolescent shrugged, the casual gesture at odds with the intense expression in her eyes just before she ducked her head. “I don’t think he’d care. He’s never commented on my clothes. Or much else about me.”

Oh, Paul. Kate had heard both his arguments for boarding school and Lily’s criticisms against it and had sided with him. After all, Newsome was touted to be one of the best educational facilities in the country, with devoted staff and excellent programs. But she had a feeling that his daughter at least was less than thrilled about being shipped off while he carried on with his post-Heather life.

For the first time, she was concerned about how the kids would react when they were told their father didn’t want them to visit. He planned on telling them himself on the phone—an announcement she wasn’t in a hurry to preempt—but it would be some time before he was allowed a call.

“I don’t suppose you have another suit?” Kate asked.

“No.” Neve jutted her chin out, and Kate recognized the gesture for the stubborn challenge it was.

“All right.” What the hell. In two weeks summer would end and the bathing suit would be a moot point. It didn’t make financial sense to buy a new one the girl would outgrow by next year’s beach season. “Should we walk to the pool or drive?”

“Seems silly to use the gas for such a short distance. There’s an energy crisis, you know.” Even now that the bikini objection had been withdrawn, Neve’s tone made it clear she hadn’t forgotten the censure and wouldn’t be forgiving anytime soon.

“Walking it is, then.” Kate glanced at PJ. “That okay with you, buddy?”

He nodded, volunteering no opinion on his sister’s wardrobe or North American fuel limitations.

When they arrived at the pool, Kate had to admit Neve’s suit no longer seemed out of the bounds of decency. At least not in comparison to the others on display. The Hansons’ summer au pair was sunbathing in an ice blue string bikini while the two Hanson boys, older than PJ and younger than Neve, tried to drown each other in the deep end. In another lounge chair a teen had removed her top and appeared to be sleeping on her stomach, wearing bikini bottoms that bordered on being a thong. Kate had the urge to cover PJ’s eyes.

The boy, however, wasn’t old enough to care about scantily clad young women. “Do you have any coins, Kate?”

“He likes to practice swimming at the bottom to pick them up.” Neve pulled a book out of her shoulder bag and took up residence under the shade of a table umbrella.

With Neve off in her own fictional world and PJ diving for dimes, Kate half wished she’d brought her laptop. She had some writing she could be doing, but working seemed to defeat the “quality time” spirit of the outing. Besides, the computer screen was damn hard to read in direct sunlight. But maybe tonight she’d put together some kind of schedule, times when she could be with the kids but also stay ahead on her office work. With a little multitasking, there was no reason her office performance had to change at all with her newest circumstances.

“Kate! Why, Kate St. James, is that you?”

Oh, hell. Lowering her sunglasses slightly, Kate noticed a trio of women entering the gated poolside area. Leading the pack was Celeste Parker, treasurer of the neighborhood association.

Kate managed a smile. “Yep, it’s me all right. In the flesh.” Although not quite so much of it as Celeste.

While the redhead wore a modest sarong-style skirt over the bottom half of her one-piece, she was spilling out of the low-cut top. No doubt to best showcase the breasts her husband had purchased for her fortieth birthday.

“We’ve barely seen you at all since…well, you know. It’s just so brave of you to be out and about.” Celeste glanced from Neve, at her table a few feet away, toward the pool. “Poor dears. I hate to think how many milestones their father is missing.”

Though the comment was directed at Kate, it was easily overheard by those nearby. Neve shut her book with an audible thump and glared in Celeste’s direction.

Kate felt like glaring herself but wouldn’t give Celeste the satisfaction. “Well, it’s been nice catching up with you ladies….” Now go away.

Celeste smiled. “We should do this more often. Of course, you’ve always had such a hectic schedule. And now that your circumstances have changed, we know how busy you must be.”

When Kate had moved into the neighborhood, she’d quickly realized that she was in the minority of full-time working women. Some of the wives, Celeste included, were home most days and had formed tight cliques. Though they smiled at Kate and chatted with her at cocktail parties, she’d never truly felt as if she belonged. Now the feeling multiplied tenfold.

She shouldn’t care; she didn’t even like Celeste Parker. But she’d endured smugness in her youth, from the kids who could afford better clothes and, as she got older, from the boys in her class who’d heard rumors about how “easy” her mother was. It had been freely speculated at her high school that Kate had landed some of her local modeling jobs by bestowing sexual favors on casting directors.

She’d deflected snide remarks and knowing glances her whole life, but she was successful now. She’d worked hard, married well. Dammit, she should be at home catching up on work or watching an old movie with Paul, not baking beside an overchlorinated pool with no idea what to say to her stepchildren and letting Celeste frigging Parker make her feel as though she were in sixth grade again.

As Celeste offered a saccharine “toodles” more appropriate to a nineteen-year-old sorority pledge than a noted attorney’s wife, Kate turned her attention to PJ.

The boy frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Just fine, buddy.”

No sense ruining his outing by explaining that sometimes people stung more viciously and deliberately than jellyfish.

CHAPTER 5