“Came here. You’re older now, bud. And Daddy wants to have time with you in his house, too. He bought you your own bed and it has Cars sheets and everything.”
Josh stared at her then his lower lip started to tremble.
Kneeling in front of her son, Ellen held him by the shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “Josh? What’s going on?”
His eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want to leave you here by yourself. You’ll be sad.”
“Ah, buddy, I’m going to miss you for sure. Remember the list we went over last night? The one on the refrigerator?”
He nodded.
“Those are all the things I’m going to be doing after work while you’re gone. And that list is so big, I won’t have a chance to get too sad.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“Name some of them for me,” Ellen said. “What am I going to be doing today after work?”
“Going running. Every day.”
“And then what?”
“You’re going to help Sophie make the nursery in their new house.”
He’d paid attention—and hopefully had pictures in his head of her busy and happy.
“What else was on the list?”
“Babysitting for Aunt Caro and Uncle John when they’re in Kentucky at their farm. Do I ever get to go to their farm like you said?”
“I’m house-sitting,” Ellen corrected him. “They’re taking the kids with them.” Caroline had moved to Shelter Valley, alone and pregnant, at a time when Ellen had been lost as well, and the two, though more than ten years apart in age, had formed a bond that Ellen cherished. “And yes, we’ll go to Kentucky. Maybe next summer.”
Which gave her another year to work up the desire to leave Shelter Valley for a few weeks.
Ellen took a seat on a bench with a clear view of the entrances to the A boarding gates, pulling Josh, backpack and all, in between her legs, keeping her arms linked loosely around him.
“And you’re going to put junk in jars,” he said.
“Canning tomatoes and peaches and corn and green beans to send to the food pantry in Phoenix,” she said, knowing he probably wouldn’t remember that part. A group of older ladies from the three churches in Shelter Valley met every year for the service project. They had lost a couple of members of their group during the past year and needed extra hands. Ellen was good in the kitchen—and eager to learn how to can.
Aaron still hadn’t appeared. Josh was shifting weight from one foot to the other and picking at a thread from the flowered embroidery on the front of Ellen’s T-shirt.
“What else?” she asked. “What am I going to be doing for you?”
“Painting my room.”
“Painting what in your room?”
He grinned. “Trains.”
“That’s right. What colors?”
“The engine is black, of course.”
“Of course.”
“And the caboose is red so the trains coming behind it will see it.”
“Okay.”
“And blue for my favorite color.”
“And purple for mine.”
“And—” Josh stopped when Ellen stood.
“Daddy’s coming,” she said.
Please, heart, don’t make it difficult for me to breathe. Don’t let me need anything from Aaron Hanaran. With her son’s hand in hers, she approached the man she’d once vowed to love, honor and cherish—and sleep with—until death did them part.
“Hey, sport!” Aaron’s grin was huge as he sped up the last few steps and scooped his son into his arms, hugging him tight. “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” Josh said.
Ellen stared at those little arms clutching his father’s neck. Josh needed this time with Aaron. He needed his father.
Then, with their son perched on his hip, Aaron’s eyebrows drew together in concern as he looked at her. “How you doing, El?”
“Fine! Great!” The smile she gave him was genuine. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.”
Then they stood there with nothing to say. There had been no big angry outbursts between them, no hatred or resentment or bitterness. Just a sadness that had infiltrated every breath they took together.
“I better get him through security.” Aaron’s comment filled the dead air. “Our flight will be boarding in fifteen minutes.”
“Okay. Well, then…”
Aaron put Josh down. “We’ll call you the second we land, El, I promise,” he said, his gaze filled with the sympathy she’d learned to dread. “And you have my cell number. Call anytime. As often as you…need.”
She knelt in front of Josh. “You be a good boy and listen to your daddy.”
He nodded, tears in his eyes again.
“I love you, bud.”
“I love you, too.”
Ellen kissed him. Josh kissed her back. Like usual. Then the little boy threw his arms around her neck, clutching her in a death grip.