The So-called Human Race

And the woodbine spices are wafted abroad,
And the muck of the rose is blown.”

Soon the sound of music greeted the impatient ear. With a voice full of individuality of flavor and unusual quality, Mr. Carl E. Duncan, perfectly accompanied by his mother at the pianoforte, rendered “I Hear You Calling Me.” Then the coming of the bridal couple was heralded by the solemn tones of Mendelssohn’s wedding march. Never was a bride more beautiful; never —

[Well, hardly ever.]

AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS!

[Correspondence from Florida.]

I’ve fallen in love with the salt water bathing. It feels wonderfully refreshing here, below the equator.

POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

Between the Barn and the Woodhouse

Between the barn and the woodhouse,
Where oft old Jersey would stand,
I remember ’twas on this self-same spot
Where she kicked Elizabeth Ann.

I could hear the clang of the bucket,
And also poor Annie’s refrain,
And when the family reached her,
She was writhing and groaning with pain.

Mother stooped dawn to caress her
As she lay there stunned on the ground,
And our big, simple minded brother
Thought he should examine the wound.

Without halt or hesitation,
He dropped to his knees in the dirt;
Although she lay stunned and bleeding,
He asked her where she was hurt.

Then Annie, in a half sitting posture,
While resting on mother’s arm,
Feebly responded to brother,
“Between the woodhouse and barn.”
W. T. N.

“The Chicago convention left the Democratic party as the sole custodian of the honor of the country.” – Orator Cummings.

Some custodian, nous en informerons l’univers!

To the inspired compositor and proof reader of the York, Neb., News-Times he is General Denuncio.

“The plebicide showed an overwhelming majority in favor of King Constantine’s return.” – St. Paul Pioneer Press.

Very good word.

We were not alone in financing the war. An income tax payment of $14,000,000 was made in New York yesterday. The identity of the individual is not disclosed, but the painstaking Associated Press says that “he is obviously one of the richest men in the United States.”

“Thinking as One Walks.” – Doc Evans.

“Meaning,” conjectures Fenton, “that if one is bow-legged one is likely to think in circles.” Or if one limps, one is likely to come to a lame conclusion. Or if – Roll your own.

THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS

One by one the hairs are graying,
One by one they blanch and fall;
Never stopping, never staying —
W. t. h. and d. i. all!W. R.

A DEAD SHOT

[From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]

The Mount Carmel Gun club held its weekly shoot this afternoon, the chief feature being the demonstration of expert marksmanship by Mr. Killam of the Du Pont Powder Co.

IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE

Why does not some pianist give us a really popular recital programme? Frezzample:

Moonlight Sonata.
The Harmonious Blacksmith.
Mendelssohn’s Spring Song.

Old Favorites:
Recollections of Home.
Silvery Waves.
Monastery Bells.
Etincelles.
Waves of the Ocean.
Gottschalk’s Last Hope.

Clayton’s Grand March.
The Battle of Prague.
The Awakening of the Lion.

There is an encouraging growth of musical understanding and appreciation in this country. Even now you hear very many people say, “I liked the scherzo.”

“He sat down in a vacant chair,” relates a magazine fictionist. It is, everything considered, the safest way. Much of the discord in the world has been caused by gentlemen – and ladies as well – who sat down in chairs already occupied.

A Kenwood pastor has resigned because some members of his flock thought him too broad. The others, we venture, thought him too long.

“Prof. Hobbs Will Make Globe Trot” – Michigan Daily.