“How long has it been?” he asked.
Because she’d been four weeks into her first trimester the last time she’d seen him and her life since then had passed in a blur of pregnancy and baby months, she knew exactly how long ago it was since she’d last seen him. “Just shy of two years.”
“Seems like yesterday,” he said, shaking his head.
For her, it hardly seemed like that, because her life had been altered so profoundly in their time apart. From the first moment the infant had moved inside her, she’d felt a love bigger than anything she’d ever felt before. And when she’d held her baby for the first time, she knew that giving up her life to protect her child wouldn’t be too big a sacrifice.
Her little girl was the only reason she’d come here today because seeing Cal again was the last thing she wanted to do. She’d broken things off after he broke her heart.
He looked her over from head to toe and smiled. “Your hair is shorter.”
“I cut it. Easier this way,” she said, touching a hand to her short, shiny bob. A typical guy, he’d always liked her brown hair long.
“Looks good. Really good.” There was approval in his eyes. “Have you lost weight?”
“Always the charmer,” she said. During her first trimester, morning sickness had taken a toll and the rest of the pregnancy had been only marginally better. Life since giving birth had kept her busy and she hadn’t regained the twelve pounds lost from her five-feet-two-inch height. The denim capris she had on were several sizes smaller than anything he’d seen her in—or out of. “I might have dropped a little weight.”
“Seriously, there’s something different.”
She’d had a baby—his baby—but didn’t want to blurt that out. Although why she should be concerned about his feelings when he’d decimated hers was a mystery. “I’m still the same.”
Studying her, he folded his arms over his chest, drawing her attention to the broad contour of muscle. It seemed like yesterday that she’d run her hands over the coarse dusting of hair that she remembered being darker than what grew on his head, more reddish brown. The memory made her heart kick up again like it had so many times before when they’d been together.
He moved around the table and stopped in front of her, close enough to feel the heat from his body. “You look great, Em. What’s your secret?”
“Oh, you know…” She shrugged.
“I never heard where you went when you left Mercy Medical Center.”
Did that mean he’d tried to find out? Just when she’d thought her heart was under control, it stuttered again, a completely involuntary reaction because there was no way she’d react like this to him of her own free will. She never wanted to hurt again the way he’d made her hurt.
“I went to Sunrise Medical Center.”
“Still a social worker?” he asked.
“Yes. And a few other things.”
He nodded. “Whatever you’re doing certainly agrees with you.”
Being a mom? It was something she’d wanted since her very first pregnancy, and having the baby she’d been too young to have. Giving that child to another mother to care for had left an empty place inside her that had been impossible to fill.
“How’ve you been, Cal?” she asked, still procrastinating.
“Great.”
Was there a little too much enthusiasm in his tone? Or was it wishful thinking that he was working at convincing her he’d been fine since they split?
“How’ve you been, Em?”
It was a segue, and she might as well go with it. She couldn’t put this off any longer. “Funny you should ask…”
“What?” he asked, frowning.
When he reached out and touched her, his big hand felt too good, too warm, too safe. Static filled her head as electricity arced through her body. She stepped back and blew out a long breath.
“I have a lump in my breast,” she said.
Concern turned to worry in his expression. All at once he wasn’t her ex, but a doctor. “There’s no reason to assume the worst. Have you seen someone?”
“I have an appointment, but—”
“Lindquist is a breast specialist. I know him pretty well. I’ll give him a call and get you in right away—”
“No.”
“Em, you can’t put it off.”
“You said there’s no reason to assume the worst.” Even though that’s exactly what she’d done and why she was here in the first place.
“And I stand by that. But why worry any longer than necessary?”
“I’m taking care of that. And it’s not really what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“There’s more?” Now he looked confused and concerned and she couldn’t blame him.
“Finding the lump made me think long and hard about my own mortality,” she said.
“You’re young. There’s no reason to borrow trouble.”
She didn’t have to borrow it. Trouble had a way of finding her. “I’m not concerned about myself.” She took a deep breath and forced herself not to look away. “It’s my baby.”
“Baby? I didn’t know—” He stopped as the dots started to connect.
“Our baby. She’s eleven months old.”
“She? A girl?”
Em nodded. “Her name is Ann Marie. Annie.”
“Ann is my mother’s middle name,” he said, as if he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Marie is my mother’s middle name. It seemed fair.” Even if it would never feel right after the choice her mother had forced on her.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “What the hell are you saying?”
The calm before the storm was over. “I’m telling you that you have a little girl.”
“If I believed you—”