Distracting Dad

He loved his father dearly.

He’d love him even more with a little distance worked into their relationship.

Let’s face it. He was being a heartless jerk dumping his interfering father on an unsuspecting neighbor, but in a situation like this a little free time to concentrate on things he needed to take care of in his professional and private lives took precedence over fair play. No contest.

When they got to the appropriate section of the store, there was a bit of a debate over what type of guck spreading tools were appropriate. The store was busy, the help already occupied. Nate ended up buying a couple of different ones, picked at random. What did it matter? He was going to have the whole thing redone in a couple of weeks anyway. Let his dad play around however he wanted. He’d make it up to Allie somehow. Nate shot Allie one of his best woman-killer smiles.

She returned a look of suspicion and confusion.

Nate’s eyes widened. Man, he must be losing his touch. Guilt struck again. This really was a rotten thing to do to someone. Now he knew how the high priests felt sacrificing young virgins to the various vindictive gods. You didn’t have to like it, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. You just had to convince the virgin it was all for the greater good. Nothing to it.

Was Allie MacLord still a virgin?

God, he hoped not. Because in the back of his mind Nate was entertaining some ideas about how he’d like to make it up to her once this mess was over and done with. It wouldn’t be much of a hardship to, well, jump her bones. Nothing with strings attached or anything like that. No, just a mutual enjoyment kind of thing. Provided he could keep the overprotective males in her life and his father out of the picture, of course.

And he absolutely, positively would not feel guilty over letting his father try his hand at the repairs at Allie’s place, even though it would double or triple the repair time. He’d warned her. All was fair in love and war, after all. Nor would he allow himself to feel badly for whatever female relative of Allie’s he managed to lasso. Anyone could see his cause was just. Well, anyone but a woman. They loved being perverse. And half the time it was perversity for perversity’s sake, which made it all the more frustrating.

Men, however, loved nothing better than a challenge. Nate figured he ought to be able to handle any roadblocks his father or a little bit like Allie could put in his way. They had met their match with Nathaniel Edward Parker. You bet they had.

Ignoring Allie’s expression of confusion and his father’s generally random choices from the stock in the drywall aisle, Nate shepherded his little flock of two to a checkout line. Ted made a production of paying, all the while still protesting his innocence. Nate let his dad pay without argument. It was too his fault.

It wasn’t that much longer before Nate had everyone seated at a nearby restaurant. He rubbed his hands together. Life was good and Nate was starved. “So, what’s everyone in the mood for?”

Allie gave him a glance and muttered, “Your head.”

He was going to have to remember to bring earplugs—or a gag—when it came time to jump her bones. “To eat, Allie. To eat.”

Giving the menu a cursory glance, Allie announced, “Salad.”

Nate looked at her doubtfully. “Salad? That’s it? Just…salad?”

“Of course that’s not it,” his father interrupted. “What, does she look like a rabbit? The salad’s just to start.” Ted turned his attention to Allie, patted her hand. “Don’t pay any attention to him, honey. Now what else do you want? Anything on the menu. Nate’s paying. I bought the plastering stuff. Pick the most expensive thing they’ve got if that’s what you want.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “Dad, if she wants salad, she can have salad.” He smiled apologetically at Allie.

“She doesn’t want just salad. It’s not healthy. She needs red meat. Look at her.” Ted gestured with a hand. “Nothing to her. Chicken bones. Why a good breeze would blow her away. Pht” Ted made a flicking hand gesture. “There she goes.”

“You don’t know anything at all about women, do you, Pop?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I know women. I was married to one, wasn’t I?”

“Yeah, and she always complained that you didn’t understand her.”

Ted snorted. “Your mother’s mind was more convoluted than most and you know it.” He aimed a finger at Nate. “Still, I had her pretty much figured out. Most of the time. I just didn’t always agree with her and she’d feel like she had to complain a bit, that’s all.”

Nate looked at his father in amazement. His parents had been champion arguers. Champion. They’d also done a lot of kissing and making up, but still…He shook his head to clear it. “Whatever. The thing is, Dad, women read these female magazines, see, with these advice columns in them, okay? They think it’s a turnoff if us guys see them eating a lot so they eat a bunch before they go out with a man so they’re not that hungry. They don’t want the guy to think they’re not all delicate and feminine.” Nate rubbed a hand over the top of his head. “I know you’ve seen Gone with the Wind. Mom used to watch it several times a year. The ladies loaded up before going to dinner so they wouldn’t look like pigs in front of the men. What the ladies don’t get, however, is that it ticks us off when we take them out to eat and they just pick at their food.” He pointed a finger at Allie. “She probably snacked before we even got to her place.”

“I did not!” Allie was incensed at the accusation. Like she cared what Mr. Nathaniel Parker thought. “I simply don’t happen to be hungry tonight. Just because I don’t eat like a truck driver is no reason—”

Ted patted her hand some more. “Now, now. Don’t let him get you all upset. We’ll just order you a hamburger. You look a little…what do you call it? Anemic, that’s it. We gotta build your blood count up.”

“Mr. Parker, it’s okay. Really. I don’t eat a lot of red meat. It’s not good for you, you know.”

“Ted, remember? We’ll get you chicken, then. Look, here’s a nice blackened chicken breast although I still say red—”

“I promise you there’s nothing wrong with my blood count. I’ve got a lot of Irish in me. That’s why I’m pale. Well, and I’m a little stressed at the moment, too, but it’s mostly my heritage. See my freckles? Irish. And a little Scots.”

Was he good or what? Nate thought.

“Are you folks ready to order?”

“Yes. I’d like the house salad, please. Light Italian dressing. Thank you.”

“Chop some chicken on there for her, will you?” Ted directed. “She needs the protein. We’re trying to build her up a little bit. Maybe some egg, too.”

Allie gave up. “Fine. Put chicken on it. Put an egg on it. Use Geritol for the dressing. That ought to give me a blood count right off the charts and make everybody happy.”

“Uh, I don’t think we have any dressing like that.”

Allie just sighed and put her head in her hands. “Mom, I really think you can do better than this. Honest to God, I really think you could. Put a little heart and soul into it, why don’t you? Try harder, darn it.”

Nate put a hand on Allie’s shoulder, patted her soothingly. It was her first exposure to his father, after all. She was bound to be a bit stressed. “Excuse me? I didn’t catch that. Can you lift your head? You’re mumbling.”

Allie turned her head out of her hands and glared at Nate. “I’m not talking to you.”

“Oh, sorry. Dad, Allie’s talking to you. Pay attention, will you?”

“Not him, either.”

“Not him and not me. Fine. Then you were speaking to…whom?”

She glared harder. “If you must know, I was speaking to my mother. And it was a private conversation.”

Nate cleared his throat. “Your mother? The one who’s—”

“Yes, that’s right. Frankly, I’m very disappointed in the way she’s handling things up there and I just told her so. I’m sorry, but she could do a better job of watching out for me than she’s currently doing. She is a lot nearer to the final seat of authority than I am, after all.”

“Is that so?”

Allie nodded stubbornly. “Yes, that’s so and that’s just what I told her.”

“Uh-huh. Okay, you told your mom off. Did she, um, have anything to say in return?” He held up his hands. “Just wondering.”

“No, she doesn’t talk back. Dead people don’t, as a rule,” Allie explained kindly. “Which doesn’t mean she isn’t listening, though,” Allie stubbornly insisted. She raised her voice a little bit. “And I expect her to get her act together and do a better job.”

“Oookay.” Nate sat back in the booth, eyeing Allie warily. And she’d looked so normal. The waitress returned with their drinks. Nate took his and released the straw from its paper wrapper. He stuck it in his drink and sucked up half the liquid in his glass. So maybe he’d steer clear of Allie all together and forget even the mutually satisfying enjoyment of each other part of the deal. He might have been able to avoid the three brothers. Maybe even handle both fathers as well. But a knows-all, sees-all mother spirit? He didn’t think so. And Nate liked his private life…private.

Chapter Three