Keeper of the Bride / Whistleblower: Keeper of the Bride / Whistleblower

Oh Robert. If only you’d come out and told me.

She could have dealt with the truth. The pain, the rejection. She was strong enough and adult enough. What she couldn’t deal with was the fact that, all these months, she’d been living with a man she scarcely knew.

Now she’d never know what he really felt about her. His death had cut off any chance she had to make peace with him.

At last she did fall asleep, but the couch was lumpy and the dreams kept waking her up.

Dreams not of Robert, but of Sam Navarro.

He was standing before her, silent and unsmiling. She saw no emotion in his eyes, just that flat, unreadable gaze of a stranger. He reached out to her, as though to take her hand. But when she looked down, there were handcuffs circling her wrists.

“You’re guilty,” he said. And he kept repeating the word. Guilty. Guilty.

She awakened with tears in her eyes. Never had she felt so alone. And she was alone, reduced to the pitiful state of seeking refuge in the home of a cop who cared nothing at all about her. Who considered her little more than an added responsibility. An added bother.

It was a flicker of shadow across the window that drew her attention. She would not have noticed it at all, save for the fact it had passed just to the right of her, a patch of darkness moving across her line of vision. Suddenly her heart was thudding. She stared at the curtainless squares of moonlight, watching for signs of movement.

There it was again. A shadow, flitting past.

In an instant she was off the couch and running blindly up the hallway to Sam’s room. She didn’t stop to knock, but pushed right inside.

“Sam?” she whispered. He didn’t answer. Frantic to wake him, she reached down to give him a shake, and her hands met warm, bare flesh. “Sam?”

At her touch, he awoke with such a violent start she jerked away in fright. “What?” he said. “What is it?”

“I think there’s someone outside!”

At once he seemed to snap fully awake. He rolled off the bed and grabbed his trousers from a chair. “Stay here,” he whispered. “Don’t leave the room.”

“What are you going to do?”

She was answered by a metallic click. A gun. Of course he had a gun. He was a cop.

“Just stay here,” he ordered, and slipped out of the room.

She wasn’t crazy; she wasn’t going to go wandering around a dark house when there was a cop with a loaded gun nearby. Chilled and shivering, she stood by the door and listened. She heard Sam’s footsteps creak down the hall toward the living room. Then there was silence, a silence so deep it made every breath she took seem like a roar. Surely he hadn’t left the house? He wouldn’t go outside, would he?

The creak of returning footsteps made her back away from the door. She scurried to the far side of the bed. At the first glimpse of a figure entering the room, she ducked behind the mattress. Only when she heard Sam say, “Nina?” did she dare raise her head.

“Here,” she whispered, suddenly feeling ridiculous as she emerged from her hiding place.

“There’s no one out there.”

“But I saw someone. Something.”

“It could have been a deer. An owl flying past.” He set his gun down on the nightstand. The solid clunk of metal on wood made her flinch. She hated guns. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be anywhere near a man who owned one. Tonight, though, she didn’t have a choice.

“Nina, I know you’re scared. You have a right to be. But I’ve checked, and there’s no one out there.” He reached toward her. At the first touch of his hand on her arm, he gave a murmur of alarm. “You’re freezing.”

“I’m scared. Oh God, Sam. I’m so scared…”

He took her by the shoulders. By now she was shaking so hard she could barely form any words. Awkwardly, he drew her against him, and she settled, trembling, against his chest. If only he’d hold her. If only he’d put his arms around her. When at last he did, it was like being welcomed home. Enclosed in warmth and safety. This was not the man she’d dreamed about, not the cold, unsmiling cop. This was a man who held her and murmured comforting sounds. A man whose face nuzzled her hair, whose lips, even now, were lowering toward hers.

The kiss was gentle. Sweet. Not the sort of kiss she ever imagined Sam Navarro capable of. Certainly she never imagined being hugged by him, comforted by him. But here she was, in his arms, and she had never felt so protected.

He coaxed her, still shivering, to the bed. He pulled the covers over them both. Again, he kissed her. Again the kiss was gently undemanding. The heat of the bed, of their bodies, banished her chill. And she became aware of so many other things: the scent of his bare skin, the bristly plane of his chest. And most of all, the touch of his lips, lingering against hers.

They had their arms wrapped around each other now, and their legs were slowly twining together. The kiss had gone beyond sweetness, beyond comfort. This was transforming to lust, pure and simple, and she was responding with such a rush of eagerness it astonished her. Her lips parted, welcoming the thrust of his tongue. Through the tangle of sheets, the barrier of her clothes, she felt the undeniable evidence of his arousal burgeoning against her.

She had not meant for this to happen, had not expected this to happen. But as their kiss deepened, as his hand slid hungrily down the curve of her waist, the flare of her hips, she knew that this had been inevitable. That for all his cool, unreadable looks, Sam Navarro harbored more passion than any man she’d ever known.

He regained control first. Without warning, he broke off the kiss. She heard his breathing, harsh and rapid, in the darkness.

“Sam?” she whispered.

He pulled away from her and sat up on the side of the bed. She watched his silhouette in the darkness, running his hands through his hair. “God,” he murmured. “What am I doing?”

She reached out toward the dark expanse of his back. As her fingers brushed his skin, she felt his shudder of pleasure. He wanted her—that much she was certain of. But he was right, this was a mistake, and they both knew it. She’d been afraid and in need of a protector. He was a man alone, in need of no one, but still a man with needs. It was natural they’d seek each other’s arms for comfort, however temporary it might be.

Staring at him now, at the shadow huddled at the side of the bed, she knew she still wanted him. The longing was so intense it was a physical ache.

She said, “It’s not so awful, is it? What just happened between us?”

“I’m not getting sucked into this again. I can’t.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, Sam. Not if you don’t want it to.”

“Is that how you see it? Quick and meaningless?”

“No. No, that’s not at all what I said.”

“But that’s how it’d end up.” He gave a snort of self-disgust. “This is the classic trap, you know. I want to keep you safe. You want a white knight. It’s good only as long as that lasts. And then it falls apart.” He rose from the bed and moved to the door. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He left the room.

She lay alone in his bed, trying to sort out the confusing whirl of emotions. Nothing made sense to her. Nothing was under her control. She tried to remember a time when her life was in perfect order. It was before Robert. Before she’d let herself get caught up in those fantasies of the perfect marriage. That was where she’d gone wrong. Believing in fantasies.

Her reality was growing up in a broken home, living with a succession of faceless stepparents, having a mother and father who despised each other. Until she’d met Robert, she hadn’t expected to marry at all. She’d been content enough with her life, her job. That’s what had always sustained her: her work.

She could go back to that. She would go back to that.

That dream of a happy marriage, that fantasy, was dead.

SAM WAS UP AT DAWN. The couch had been even more uncomfortable than he’d expected. His sleep had been fitful, his shoulder ached, and at 7:00 a.m., he was unfit for human companionship. So when the phone rang, he was hard-pressed to answer with a civil “Hello.”

“Navarro, you’ve got some explaining to do,” said Abe Coopersmith.

Sam sighed. “Good morning, Chief.”