Gravity

‘I’ll see you both later,’ said Hank, and he made a hasty retreat down the hall. They waited for him to disappear around the corner, then looked at each other.

‘Debbie’s not doing well,’ said Jack.

‘What happened?’

‘She had an epidural bleed. Came in conscious and talking. In a matter of minutes, she went straight downhill. I was busy with another patient. I didn’t realize it in time. Didn’t drill the burr hole until…’ He paused and looked away. ‘She’s on a ventilator.’

Emma reached out to touch him, then stopped herself, knowing that he would only shake her off. It had been so long since he’d accepted any words of comfort from her. No matter what she said, how sincerely she meant it, he would regard it as pity. And that he despised.

‘It’s a hard diagnosis to make, Jack,’ was all she could say.

‘I should have made it sooner.’

‘You said she went downhill fast. Don’t second-guess yourself.’

‘That doesn’t make me feel a hell of a lot better.’

‘I’m not trying to make you feel better!’ she said in exasperation. ‘I’m just pointing out the simple fact that you did make the right diagnosis. And you acted on it. For once, can’t you cut yourself some slack?’

‘Look, this isn’t about me, okay?’ he shot back. ‘It’s about you.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Debbie won’t be leaving the hospital anytime soon. And that means Bill…’

‘I know. Gordon Obie gave me the heads-up.’

Jack paused. ‘It’s been decided?’

She nodded. ‘Bill’s coming home. I’ll replace him on the next flight.’ Her gaze drifted toward the ICU. ‘They have two kids,’ she said softly. ‘He can’t stay up there. Not for another three months.’

‘You’re not ready. You haven’t had time—’

‘I’ll be ready.’ She turned.

‘Emma.’ He reached out to stop her, and the touch of his hand took her by surprise. She looked back at him. At once he released her.

‘When are you leaving for Kennedy?’ he asked.

‘A week. Quarantine.’

He looked stunned. He said nothing, still trying to absorb the news.

‘That reminds me,’ she said. ‘Could you take care of Humphrey while I’m gone?’

‘Why not a kennel?’

‘It’s cruel to keep a cat penned up for three months.’

‘Has the little monster been declawed yet?’

‘Come on, Jack. He only shreds things when he’s feeling ignored. Pay attention to him, and he’ll leave your furniture alone.’

Jack glanced up as a page was announced over the address system: ‘Dr McCallum to ER. Dr McCallum to ER.’

‘I guess you have to go,’ she said, already turning away.

‘Wait. This is happening so fast. We haven’t had time to talk.’

‘If it’s about the divorce, my lawyer can answer any questions while I’m gone.’

‘No.’ He startled her with his sharp note of anger. ‘No, I don’t want to talk to your lawyer!’

‘Then what do you need to tell me?’

He stared at her for a moment, as though hunting for words. ‘It’s about this mission,’ he finally said. ‘It’s too rushed. It doesn’t feel right to me.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘You’re a last-minute replacement. You’re going up with a different crew.’

‘Vance runs a tight ship. I’m perfectly comfortable with this launch.’

‘What about on the station? This could stretch your stay to six months in orbit.’

‘I can deal with it.’

‘But it wasn’t planned. It’s been thrown together at the last minute.’

‘What are you saying I should do, Jack? Wimp out?’

‘I don’t know!’ He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. ‘I don’t know.’

***

They stood in silence for a moment, neither one of them quite sure what to say, yet neither one ready to end the conversation. Seven years of marriage, she thought, and this is what it’s come to. Two people who can’t stay together, yet can’t walk away from each other. And now there’s no time left to work things out between us.

A new page came over the address system: ‘Dr McCallum stat to ER.’

Jack looked at her, his expression torn. ‘Emma—’

‘Go, Jack,’ she urged him. ‘They need you.’

He gave a groan of frustration and took off at a run for the ER.

And she turned and walked the other way.

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